Time Alone

Don't spoil him Kate!

Thank you Kitty for your comment Albangirl doesn’t know my true very difficult family situation at present, and why should she ? I am not going to justify myself.

DH returns tomorrow we both have sent each other texts saying how we are missing each other. I think I will make a grand gesture tomorrow and buy him an eclair. ?

I suspect Kate had agreed to look after the cats and didn't want to shirk her responsibility.

Our neighbour looks after our cats, we water his garden in return, and if he let us down we wouldn't be able to go away.

Personally I would put being with family over looking after a house and cats but each to her own,

I actually love it when my husband goes away, as he is right now, on a cycling holiday in Italy. I love having the whole house to myself and being able to put my clutter where I want to, without anyone grumbling about it. I love being able to eat when I want instead of having to fit in with someone else's agenda. I love that everything stays exactly as I left it. I love the silence and the freedom - the lack of any routine, so that clock watching goes by the wayside. I wish it happened more often.

Day 2 All well so far.

Cleared out half of small wardrobe and filled two bags which I took to the Hospice shop.

Met a very lively 90+ friend from WI who invited me out to coffee. I asked the rather good looking Italian waiter to turn off the radio which was coming out of a speaker. He immediately did this with a little bow. I said to him ‘If I wasn’t old enough to be your grandmother I would give you a hug’ the next thing I know is that I am having a big bear hug from him, and very nice too ?

I spent a rather lazy afternoon snoozing and watching the tennis from Portugal, then went for a stroll.

On eating my M and S Balanced for You supper cooked in the microwave I plumbed new depths and ate it from the plastic plate it was cooked in. My mum would have been horrified at my slovenly ways.

I’m getting quite used to this decadent life style.

I love time on my own. Perhaps it's a legacy of growing up as an only child - with older parents - but I've never found being on my own a problem. Don't get me wrong, I love having my family around, but I'm probably happiest in my own company. I don't think loneliness would ever be a problem for me.

That's my plan for the afternoon.?

Good luck with the wardrobe NanKate. I tend to take everything out and spend so long looking at things, I run out of time and shovel it all back again. I picked up some tips on one thread about turning the hangers the opposite way round until clothing is worn. I have noticed that over last 6 months most of the stuff hasn't been worn! Marydoll you are so right it is very therapeutic if you can do it!

Enjoy, Nan, it is so therapeutic clearing out wardrobes. You never know, you may find some long lost treasures. ?

Well my time alone has started a day earlier than planned but that is fine.

I realise I am very fortunate that I am still physically active even if slower than in the past.

I do feel a bit lost without the car but can walk into town where plenty is going on and the river Thames to sit by. I have always been happy going out to eat or for a coffee on my own. I have done it since the age of 11.

Must start clearing out my two over full wardrobes. No excuses as you are all watching. ?

So far so good.

I live on my own and have done so since my parents died. One in 1996 and one in 2002. So I am sort of well used to living alone. I manage to fill my days with things though. I do a lot od drama and acting and I go to a couple of over 5os clubs and I do a lot of volunteering. There is always something to do you know. You need never be alone. The over 50s is good as I get to meet new people as well. I am busy acting at the moment in a show "Priscilla - Queen of the Desert" in Hornchurch, Essex and that takes up a lot of my time. I cant understand people who say there is absolutely nothing for them to do because there is always something

I love time alone. But I also love family time. At least I have the choice at the moment. I’m sad for those who have no choice and find themselves lonely.

Enjoy your alone time NanKate

Like some other posters I ve lived alone over twenty years and I can never say I ve not been lonely in my life (no siblings or cousin ) because I have, but you deal with it and you get on with it, you can not rely on others for your entertainment you have to make it and make your friendships and sometimes be the instigator
The only downside is you get so blooming used to being alone that you find it hard when someone does come to stay well I do anyway and you talk to yourself, well again I do
But you are only talking about a weekend, not a lifetime enjoy your space.

I too will be alone this Bank Holiday weekend, DH off to Spain for 4 days of golf, and I am really looking forward to it! Like others I will sort out wardrobes, eat when I like, do a spot of gardening and go for some cycle rides, weather permitting. Lots of sewing jobs building up as well, for some reason I find it hard to concentrate on things like that when someone else is around. Have also just booked a ticket for a matinee at a show I know DH would not want to see. Will also enjoy having the bed to myself, when he is away I always find I read in bed far too late as there is no pressure to turn out the light. I could arrange to see friends or family but prefer to relish time alone - but I will miss DH and cook him a nice meal when he comes back on Monday night!

Some very interesting posts here, as an only child I learned to do so many things on my own and was never lonely. I have a very good partner but we both like time on our own as he too was an only child. I love solitude but as others have said this is different from being lonely. I can easily fill my time with reading, crafts and generally pootling around the house, it’s lovely just to have time to draw breath and not have to worry about running about catching up with things.

I'm quite keen on my own company and probably wouldn't cope too well if I was surrounded by people all the time. However, I feel sorry for those of you who feel lonely if family and friends are far away with little contact. Getting the balance right must be difficult.

Hello and it sounds like you do have plenty to do but may feel a bit lonely, which is understandable. My husband works long hours and I’m alone for a lot of that but only sometimes lonely. If the weathers good, I like to go for a walk somewhere not too busy, but not too isolated...maybe a seafront. Visiting a museum can be good as well and passes a day. If I need to be at home, sometimes I mbark in some decorating or catch up on tv or films on my I pad. And I have long lie ins with food in bed, which I love!? Have a nice weekend. There’ll be other times when you can see the family and I’m sure your friend will appreciate what you’re doing!

H will be in London all day Saturday to see Army v Navy ? at Twickenham. I will get up late, potter around with household stuff then spend the afternoon with a jigsaw and eat what I want when I want for dinner. Bliss !
I would be happy for H to be away for a night or two. I maybe bored at some point but not lonely. That's different.

My DH worked away a lot and spent 5 years on an unaccompanied posting, so I got used to being on my own and occupying myself more so when the DC had left home. When he came back I found it difficult to adjust to him being around even though he was still working, but gradually got used to it. Then he retired and more getting used to him being there 24/7 has, to be polite, been b*** difficult. At the moment I'm treading on eggshells because he gets uptight about the smallest thing and I'm much more laid back! Hopefully things will improve.....but how I miss those days of only having me to think about.

Being in isolation because of family moving away or dying and health problems and with no one coming home in a day or a week or a month plus not having a car = lonliness . I couldn't live with anyone after living alone for over 20 years I am certaintly use to my own company

I am usually quite comfortable with my own company - alone, but not lonely. Now that we are both retired being on my own is a rarity, but I am also so thankful that we still have each other. When I do get time alone I like to read, sew, make something, gardening, walking and listen to music. Very rarely will I sit and watch TV, it seems rather wasteful.

Thank you so much folks for your interesting and at times poignant feedback on my impending few days alone.

I will make the very best of the solitude, be grateful that it is temporary and just do my own thing. I am now feeling much more upbeat about my freedom.

I hope you too enjoy your May Bank Holiday weekend whatever you are doing. ? ??

I had five years effectively alone for twelve hours a day between my retiring and my OH being made redundant last November. It was sheer bliss and, though we have hammered out a way of being together all day, it is also stressful and I discovered on a recent doctor’s visit that my blood pressure has gone up.

The luxury of being alone was the freedom, the absence of having to please or amuse another, having the house to myself and the time to read or listen to the radio while working. Changing plans on a whim or not having to worry when schedules went awry were also stress free aspects of a solitary life.

I was upset that, when I was at home and my OH was working everything I did was for the family but when he stayed home he thought I would carry on cleaning, cooking, ironing and maintaining the house to facilitate him indulging his own whims. He even thought I would be doing this at weekends which we had always spent together. He would go out and ‘play’ and I would be at home doing the chores.

I am getting a day to myself next week whilethe OH is volunteering on a steam railway and I am looking forward to this luxurious solitude. I will not be doing any household chores.

I can’t ever remember feeling lonely in all my 63 years, though I have spent a reasonable amount of time alone. DH is still here though - what I will feel like if he goes first I just don’t know ...