the "hard" menopause

I’m another of the lucky ones. Periods just stopped 10 years ago. Yes, hot flushes but not too awful. They only lasted a couple of minutes. No extra hard symptoms, no bad temper & apart from a bit of emotional turmoil occasionally, on the whole, quite doable.

I would prefer a menopause that didn’t make my pelvic floor head for Australia, that didn’t give me whiskers, didn’t make the aging process accelerate ...didnt make me invisible as an older woman... I think menopause is a cruel thing whichever way you approach it or it approaches you ...just saying !

I was bullied at work because I couldn't cope with the symptoms of Menopause, silvercollie, it was a terrible time of my life, also about 20 years ago. Both my doctor and husband said I should leave as my health was going downhill rapidly. I missed my job and the money and now of course have a much lower pension.
I did cope with a p/t job away from the bully, who was a woman, but also an uncaring bitch.
I did try HRT and that cut out the hot flushes but I kept bleeding, this was after my periods had stopped so came off it as at the time there was a lot of negative information about it.
If I could turn the clock back 20 years things may have been so different.

My post-menopausal years were have been some of my very best. My H left soon after we had moved house and for a while things were bad, but I soon learned to be myself rather than someone's wife. I worked full time, went on a counselling course, got involved in local politics and had a good range of Ramblers' holidays. After retirement I became a CAB adviser and also downsized to a smaller house in a nicer community. Even better, my DDSs made good lives and careers for themselves and I have five lovely DGC. I never looked back at the pre-menopausal days with any kind of nostalgia at all. There is life after the menopause.

I don't intend going through the menopause ever. I am thankful that it is now optional.
During my hysterectomy/oopherectomy at 40 I was put on HRT. Now, 38 years later, I am still on HRT and cannot imagine life without it. I always comment when attending the menopause clinic that I am on it for life and fortunately my consultant (a very senior contributor to the NICE guidance on handling the menopause) is happy with my decision.
Personally I prefer a twice yearly oestrogen implant but am happy to recommend any transdermal method. There is a lot of rubbish spouted about natural methods of coping with oestrogen loss. The simplest is to replace it.

I would be interested to know whether those having been on the 'pill' have ever associated it to an' uncomfortable' menopause.I was always anti pill preferring to use other methods and wonder if this is the reason I never suffered the flushes, sweats and moods so many have during the menopause When my periods dwindled, hardly knowing they were there, my doc knowing how I had felt about the pill , advised me to still take precautions for a minimum of two years A small price to pay when I hear what others go through during the menopause.

I had a very early menopause (36) and I was put on HRT straight away by my GP. But I couldn't find any that I could cope with because they caused worse effects than the menopause did. I just stopped taking them and instead went to see a herbal practicioner who prescribed natural remedies. By and large, they worked with the worst of the symptoms but didn't help with risk of osteoporosis for which I'm now being treated.

Like others I just thought of the menopause as the cessation of periods and for me it couldn’t have come too soon. Whilst I did experience very heavy periods and still have some hot flushes, I saw it as another phase of my life. Apparently, and I base this on hearsay not anything I’ve read, in cultures where age is revered, women rarely suffer from the effects of menopause.

An early hysterectomy at 39 left me with ovaries, but menopause started 3 years later. Was put on HRT and had various battles with certain male GPs who wanted to take me off it, but I am on it for life as far as I am concerned. Symptoms were horrendous. You need to stand your ground and quote evidence!

It's interesting that some who had easy menopause take the view it's not down to luck but to good judgement.

My menopause was easy - it was the other bits that go with, especially after it, that continue to be tedious. HRT forever in my next lifetime.

I had this crazy idea that because I'd suffered very badly with period related symptoms the menopause would be fine.

And indeed it was initially whilst I still had some of those feel good hormones in my system. Whilst I didnt have the hot flushes I come out the other end of it with a completely different body and mentality ( and not in a good way)

Harrigran my sister was like you - she told me she never even noticed the menopause. I, on the other hand, had an awful time and my poor husband and children went through the mill with it. Apart from the hot flushes, it was the dreadful mood swings that affected everyone the most. I went onto HRT and it was like someone had given me my life - and my marriage - back. I stayed on it for ten years and never regretted taking it. I actually wish I hadn’t let my doctor persuade me to come off it.

Well I must have been lucky as apart from irregular very heavy periods (embarrassing at the time) I hardly had any symptoms. I do have post menopausal annoyances though such as dry eyes, whiskery chin etc.
Interesting theory that people who don't take the pill have easier menopauses - I never took the pill apart from an oestrogen only one for a few weeks after my last baby was born while waiting for the sterilisation op. Ive never been keen on medication. I used other contraception methods such as the Dutch cap and the IUD device.

I had a hysterectomy seven years ago and was not offered HRT at all. I feel I went through it the hard way. Recently my GP asked why I hadn't had HRT, as if it was somehow my fault.

I went through an early menopause at 40 everything just stopped one month, I loved it as had always suffered very heavy periods

annodomini You are an inspiration! To learn so many new and useful skills for a start. I know people will say you were lucky with the menopause, but you weren't so lucky with your marriage. It was how you dealt with it that made your life so fruitful afterwards. Truly, it is inspiring to read about a life so full following what some would regard as an ending! Congratulations!

oldbatty You said you came out with a "completely different body and mentality ( and not in a good way)".

I can't see your body of course but I bet it's lovely and "beauty is only skin deep" as for your mentality, I can attest, following my being so hard on you in another thread and then trying to apologise, your response was so kind and self-effacing, I believe you have a delightfully loving and sweet mentality!

Patticake123 There seems to be a small suggestion that the diet in such cultures may play a part, especially those where soya is a big part of the diet. At least I think I've read that several times now.
On the other hand, I had an early menopause, perhaps something to do with a partial thyroidectomy and being completely messed-up by not being given any thyroxine. However, I was married to a cruel and critical man who did not tolerate any "women's problems" writing them off as attention-seeking or excuses. So when I had hot flushes, sweats, extreme fatigue, and a huge surge in migraines, I had to pretend I was ok. Had I lived with a respecting man or a man like my Father who had a lot of time and respect for women, I think these burdens would have been so much easier to bear and the migraines may have been fewer. I actually felt ashamed of being a female with these feminine problems because he would make me out to be disgusting because of them.

I am another one who suffered no symptoms and consider myself to be extremely fortunate. I did have just a couple of odd days of a strange mood but no sweats, weight gain, heavy bleeds etc. It must be truly awful. I've often wondered why my hormones would seem to be so even.

I'm another great fan of HRT. Had a total hysterectomy at 42 and was given oestrogen only HRT straight away. GP insisted on me coming off it a few years ago and my health took a plunge for the worst. As well as the horrendous night sweats and hot flushes, I experienced awful mood swings and my auto immune condition deteriorated to include degenerative spinal disease and Sacroiliitis. I eventually had enough and after a few years insisted on going back on HRT. 4 months on I'm feeling much better and intend to stay on it for life. Lots of research about the effect of hormone changes on autoimmune diseases.

One of the very lucky ones here. Periods suddenly stopped age 45, never to appear again, only 4 weeks of occasional night sweats, no mood swings.
Guess we are all very different. The age of menopause is directly associated with the onset of the menarch, the earlier that occurred the earlier the onset of menopause.

I'm another one of those annoying women who "sailed through" the Menopause after a lifetime of heavy periods (except when I was on the Pill). I was Sterilised at 30 & had heavy, painful periods until I was 52.

I was apprehensive about HRT in any case as I have Epilepsy & that severely limits the choice. I had a slight bleed 11 months after my last period, my lovely male GP said if it had been more than a year he would have had to refer me. In my experience male GPs tend to be more sympathetic than female ones

I was interested to read that some who had not taken the pill thought it may have influenced the easier menopause.
I had never taken the contraceptive pill, always had painful periods, had two very difficult births so when the menopause happened at 55 it was quite a relief.

I was so lucky compared to other women. A couple of night sweats....a hot flush now and again, felt tired sometimes but that was it. I do realise how lucky I was...and no HRT.

I`m another of the lucky ones who never noticed the menopause, apart from the blessed cessation of periods, which was so long ago I`ve almost forgotten what they were like. (I DID say ALMOST!)