the "hard" menopause

Its a tough one for me Jane10 as my mum has a hysterectomy at 36 and my grandma (her mum) had a baby aged almost 50 (that sadly died) so obviously my grandma must’ve had a late menopause and my mum had an induced menopause due to the hysterectomy.

Yesterday 19:41 Mamie

"Nobody should suffer from VA. There is no problem with topical oestrogen."

I can tell you from personal experience that it doesn't work for everyone. For me, it made intercourse just about bearable for a few months, but even that minor improvement gradually disappeared again after that.
A total loss of labido is bad enough, but agonisingly painful intercourse is the last nail in the coffin. On another thread, some people seemed to think that for the sake of a partner, it was just a matter of lying back and thinking of England. If only it was so simple - some people clearly don't have a clue!

My DM had a terrible time Jane, sweats, mood swings, the works. It coincided with my hitting adolescence and I’m amazed my DF stayed with us! I think it was about then he started making himself a flask and decamping to the garage for the day! Mum’s personality changed too for the worst, and she had the most awful migraines for the rest of her life. She wasn’t my mum any more. Eventually, in her 80s, a bad prolapse meant she had to have a hysterectomy. Her womb had a cancerous growth and the surgeon did her best but didn’t get all of it and she died from endometrial cancer. My father, who first clamped a pipe between his teeth in his teens, died from lung cancer. The fact that both my parents and possibly a couple of grandparents died from cancer does concern me, so I take every test I can.

When in my mid 40s, bad fibroids gave me the excuse for a full hysterectomy, I took it and have been on a very low dose of oestrogen only HRT ever since. I have tried to come off HRT two or three times when GPs have muttered about breast cancer, but, as someone said, the menopause starts to strike. Badly. Sweats, freezing cold, mood swings, migraines, bad memory lapses, anxiety attacks, that dryness of which a lady should not speak, exhaustion.... the works. I came off all medication four weeks before my knee op on the advise of the surgeon and started back on two weeks ago. It’s now starting to have an effect and I’m beginning to feel human again and I’ve not had even a headache this week. Although I did boil the dumplings dry yesterday and last weekend completely forgot the rhubarb burning gently on the stove! (The saucepan needed replacing anyway.). I think that’s the scariest part. My memory goes. If HRT can keep dementia at bay for a while longer, I’m sticking with it.

Jane10 my mother had a terrible menopause which effectively killed her. I sailed through mine with about half a dozen hot flushes and no weight gain.

However, genetics is a very complicated business as I expect you know. My own daughter is approaching menopause and she, of course, carries genes from her paternal grandmother who had a difficult menopause too.

I feel like I should have recorded how I was getting on while going through it to give to my DD as I might not still be around when she gets to the menopause. Of course I didn't take notes at the time!

Hysterectomy at 41 due to fibroids and endometriosis from 2 C sections bladder and bowels all needed separating,meant I was free from the heavy bleeding and constant pain,ovaries intact,but I went into fluctuating hormones,depression,and problems in the lady parts.HRT was never suggested and as I had been on bp medication since late 30's no one would prescribe it 10 years after that I experienced the night sweats,hot flushes mood swings and had to sit it out,I still get a few sweats overnight and during the day but they seem to come in clusters,my tolerance to heat has worsened and cannot wear thick jumpers in winter.I have wondered wether my bones have suffered from an early hysterectomy,if I had been able to take HRT I would have,I am now 65

I had a very "soft" menopause at the age of 55. Longer gaps between bleeds, one almighty 10 dayer..then nothing! I do sometimes get hot flushes, aches pains etc. but not bad enough for medication. I am very aware how fortunate I have been in this respect.

Hi guys im 46 and started my menopause 5yrs ago, the doctor said id go through early menopause after being sterilized 13yrs ago, but out of the blue a week ago i had a very heavy bleed so i guess im not done with menopause yet. I just wanted to know how long does the menopause go on for?

if its been a long time since you had a bleed I'd get it checked out ,there may be other reasons for it that can be sorted .
I first went on HRT in my 40's ...though a different GP decided I wasn't in early menopause and took me back off them.
I tried all the alternative treatments for years before giving in and asking for help .I'm now 64 and still on HRT ,heavy bleeding was one of my worst problems along with awful night sweats ,fatigue and joint pain.
Since I started this particular HRT I'm fine,the odd small bleed but nothing that concerns me and I feel as if I'm back to who I was .Thankfully my gynaecologist has decided I need to be on HRT longterm .I'm happy with his decision.Odd from me as I dont even take a painkiller if I can avoid it .

I suspect a lot less painkillers would be taken paddynan, if more women had the opportunity to stay on HRT

It’s all down to luck and genes if you sail through the menopause or have a hard time.
Fortunately for me I more or less sailed through it, and as periods had always been heavy and painful it was bliss when they stopped aged 59.
In any case, I couldn’t have had HRT for health reasons, so it was a good job that I was fine.I think if you need it then HRT is the way to go, no question.

I'm not too sure that HRT is going to be useful in staving off dementia, NfkDumpling. There was a study published in 2013 which suggested that the onset might be delayed but it was based on 63 women, nowhere near enough to draw a reliable conclusion...

In fact, last year there was a Cochrane review of HRT (referred to as HT) which considers the combined evidence from gold-standard clinical trials on the use of HRT, and concluded:

"In relatively healthy postmenopausal women, using combined continuous HT for 1 year increased the risk of a heart attack from about 2 per 1000 to between 3 and 7 per 1000, and increased the risk of venous thrombosis (blood clot) from about 2 per 1000 to between 4 and 11 per 1000. With longer use, HT also increased the risk of stroke, breast cancer, gallbladder disease and death from lung cancer.

Oestrogen-only HT increased the risk of venous thrombosis after 1 to 2 years' use: from 2 per 1000 to 2 to 10 per 1000. With longer use, it also increased the risk of stroke and gallbladder disease, but it reduced the risk of breast cancer (after 7 years' use) from 25 per 1000 to between 15 and 25 per 1000.

Among women over 65 years of age taking continuous combined HT, the incidence of dementia was increased.

Risk of fracture was the only outcome for which results showed strong evidence of clinical benefit from HT (both types)."

Paddyann, sorry to hear that about your mother. It's a difficult choice I suppose, weighing up the good and the bad. Although you would have hoped her doctor would have been more sympathetic!

The menaupause was never really talked about until quite recently, now it's on the tv and every magazine you pick up. Am sure it was considered as one of those 'you just have to get on with it' periods in a woman's life. Much like very painful periods would be tutted about if you made too much fuss about them.

We all have to do what is right for us. I must admit, I thought you could only take HRT up to 10 years, then you had to come off it.

Oh do it like I did...I guess Hard but with Soya ( and other natural remedies) all the way.. no HRT for me...no problems, a few hot sweats and a few nights of not much sleep.... Over in a flash but was working hard and long hours didn't really notice it going.
Try to go the natural route (i.e. no medication) always!

Has anyone started taking HRT at 70 ?
I have been experiencing hot flushes for 18 years and am desperate to get sleep .A new young doctor has given me a prescription for gel and progesterone tablets but reading everything has made me really worried about starting at my age ! I have tried everything non drug related over the years spent a fortune and nothing worked so any input really would be appreciated if you are my age and still suffer / have found anything helpful re sleeping . Thanks

I was told I wouldn’t be able to have HRT because of my medical history and ongoing health conditions. When menstruation stopped I was delighted, no more monthly stomach cramps, nausea and fainting! I don’t remember any bad symptoms. My older sister complained of dreadful hot flushes and night sweats. Me? Nada .

Surgical menopause for me at 45. Overall, very easy. I did have a couple of months where the the flushes were so bad I felt as if I would pass out, but otherwise, all is good. Wish I'd done it years before!