the "hard" menopause

I would be interested in any research which takes into account the issues caused by the menopause such as osteoporosis, vaginal atrophy, and the impact of these on married life.
Do post menopausal women become less interested in sexual relationships? Do their sex lives end earlier than those on HRT.? Are they likely to die younger due to hip fractures and the like?
Everyone I know on HRT over 60 looks, and behaves, much younger than their years.

Esspee I'd be interested in your research project. As I said upthread, the menopause was easy, was lucky in having night sweats that were manageable and very heavy periods which my GP managed by prescribing 3 months of hormone treatment, which worked.
It was the after effects of the menopause that I continue to find fairly grim. Auto immune conditions that go doolally, pain in joints, muscles, tiredness, osteo Pina, osteoarthritis, etc etc (all the things you mentioned and more)

My mother and her friends took HRT into their 80's. They bought it over the internet when their GP's refused to continue prescribing. One got awful breast cancer, a couple had killer strokes but none of this happened till they were mid 80's. Not bad eh.

For what it's worth I 'toughed it out' as I didn't want to take artificial hormones.
I suffered hot flushes which weren't too awful but I wouldn't want to go through them again.

I agree Iam64. My autoimmune condition went into overdrive when I came off HRT and has now settled now I'm back on it. I'd also be interested in any research as I have friends who have suffered terribly from VA and their relationships have also been difficult as a result. Menopause and the effects are only now beginning to be talked about thankfully.

Nobody should suffer from VA. There is no problem with topical oestrogen.

Though obviously people will need to consult their doctor.

Mamie, there is a problem with topical oestrogen. It helped until it caused a bleed, after which I needed investigations and was advised not to take it again. That's one of the side effects, bleeding that is.

Soft all the way for me! Took HRT, felt amazing, all the terrible symptoms disappeared. Then , like OP , male GP withdrew 5e the medication, and I was in a terrible mess. Insisted on seeing a female GP who said” why on earth should you not get some relief “ and put. E back on it. Happy days now!

I went through the menopause atthe age of 50, no problems but I was taking HRT and 23 years later with the blessing of my doctor I am still taking it, her only stipulation being that I have a review including having my blood pressure taken every year.

I have to admit that I really had no symptoms at all, perhaps a couple of hot flushes - but it may just have been a hot summer. But I don't remember my mother having any problems. She might have got a bit bad tempered, but that may have been more down to dealing with a bolshie teenager!

I never took the pill and I’m grateful that when my heavy periods stopped and the hot flushes and sweats started, I was recommended Red Clover. I took it for 4 weeks and that was it. I kept a packet by for a year in case of recurrence of occasional hot flushes.

HRT all the way for me. The night sweats were so disgusting, I'd have to wake DH and we'd be re- making the bed at 3 am every night. Who needs it. I tried going off it, but the sweats kicked in again within weeks, so I'm back on for life now.

Life is too short to put up with this horrible stuff - why suffer when you don't have to. Describing menopause as " the hard option" as if you're some kind of tough warrior, is ridiculous.

My menopause has been very hard indeed. It started quite late when I was 53 (I’m 56 now). Horrendous night sweats and flushes, hair loss, Bleeding on and off (have had various tests thankfully all clear) which drives me nuts not knowing if/when it will start or stop. I could cry for anything, I’m irritable and just down right miserable . But my GP won’t prescribe HRT as my mum had breast cancer quite young.

My sisters periods just stopped suddenly aged 46 no other symptoms at all. She asked her GP for HRT as all her friends were taking it and guess what she got it.

Thank you for all your replies-it’s been a revelation to read them. We are all different and menopause hits us all in different ways. And it seems that there is no right way to deal with it. But and understanding GP seems essential here.
At 64, I feel that my hideous menopause symptoms are behind me now, well mainly. But I do feel some resentment that my GP was so inflexible with me over this issue. Maybe I should have been more insistent and persistent, changing GP or trying to change his mind. HRT gave me my life back for five years and then it was snatched away again. Perhaps the perceived risks of continued use should have been mine to deal with, not his. But can’t turn the clock back. Onwards and forwards.

It does surprise me how many of you were taken off of, or were refused HRT by your doctor and meekly submitted. It is even happening today despite government guidelines (NICE guidance on the menopause) being positive about the use of HRT. You can change your doctor or ask to be referred to a menopause clinic. Why continue to use a doctor who refuses to treat your oestrogen deficiency and then have to put up with the results such as VA and osteoporosis?
Learn to fight ladies!

I asked to be referred Esspee and after various tests and biopsies ( thankfully clear) the consultant offered me tablets to stop the bleeding ( progesterone so makes hair loss even worse ) to be taken on an of and when basis . He agreed with my GP no HRT . Whereas my sisters GP gave it to her with zero symptoms . I have MS which is why I don’t want to change GP ( DH has several health issues too ) but I’ve checked and HRT does not effect it .

Do basically I’ve got to shut up and put up with it .

gillybob, could you ask for a referral to a gyneo to discuss the options? I bet there's a good chance, that if you could afford the £250 to see one privately, the gyneo would be writing to your GP telling them to prescribe HRT.
The heavy bleeding is awful. I drove 3 miles to work, only to find my lower clothing all needed to be changed. My GP told me I wouldn't put up with that kind of bleeding from anywhere else in my body and prescribed progesterone for 3 months. I was on the waiting list for a hysterectomy but luckily HRT sorted it all out.
A friend who like you, ran her own business and had done so successfully for 25 years, found herself regularly running off to cry after run ins with builders she was supervising. Never happened before. she is anti medication but took HRT and said it had her 'back to normal' within a couple of months.

I have been on HRT for 29 years following a complete hysterectomy. Twice doctors have told me to stop. The last time I had stopped using it, I had my one and only panic attack. I was Christmas shopping in Liverpool and had such a bad hot flush in a shop that I needed to strip off my clothes and my arms were full of parcels and there was nowhere to put them! The only appointment I could get was with a new, young male GP - not ideal I thought. He was lovely and said that I was old enough to make up my own mind and gave me my prescription. That was a few years ago and doctors have not suggested again that I should stop.

Having read all sorts of books and articles about the menopause I was braced for trouble. However, after about 6 months of virtual non stop periods, they stopped and that was it. I was all set to experience all the many troubles outlined above but I just didn't. I know I'm very lucky. I just wanted to say that, in case any peri menopausal grans are reading this thread, it might not be as bad as you fear. People tend to only write or complain (about anything really) if there are problems. It seems people don't if things are OK. Sometimes they just are. Over and out.

I think you are probably right that paying to see a consultant privately might be the only way forward Iam64 .

I have a very stressful life to start with but like you friend I find that I can cry for things that I would have shrugged off at one time. I have taken the progesterone tablets as a last resort (if I have been going out or away somewhere for example) but they are not recommended to take on a permanent basis as they have quite a few side effects and gave me very painful breasts and poorly tummy. Also they make my hair fall out even more than it is doing now.

At the minute I am sleeping with a fan on full blast next to my bed and the sweats still keep me awake. Completely miserable.

I went through early menopause, from 35, after removal of ovarian cysts. Although I had the hot flushes/night sweats etc for years after I never wanted to take HRT. I'm one who doesn't take any medication if I can possibly avoid it, I have to be in great pain to even take paracetamol.

I have always been under the impression that HRT only delayed the menaupause so chose to just go for it as I thought it might be even harder to endure if I was a good bit older and maybe had other health problems.

it will be delayed until I'm dead then Magicwriter2016 I'm on it for the rest of my life with the blessing of my Gynaecologist.My sister was taken off HRT in her mid sixties and put back onto it by her gynaecologist too,no point in suffering if we dont have to.Our late mother had osteoporosis amongst other age related serious illnesses ,all of which could have been helped by HRT .She was in constant pain for years ,her GP refused to put her on HRT

Sailed through it. Possibly a bit of weight gain, which may not have been a symptom, one or two hot flushes. I wasn't expecting a hard time and didn't get one. If I had started to suffer I would have gone on HRT without a doubt. I took the birth control pill for around 35 year with a couple of breaks, I was convinced this helped me deal with the menopause, whether I'm right about that I really don't know.

I wonder if genetics have a part to play? Do people know how their mums got on? I don't because back then it just wasn't discussed or, at least, not in front of children!