What do you think a femisist is?

To me it means a woman who is not aware of any barriers to her abilities and her progress in life set by her gender.

I grew up in a household where equality of the sexes was so integral to our lives, it was barely mentioned. I went mainly to girls schools and never met any sexism until I went to university, and little enough there. Since I never expected to meet sexism, I was always confident in male environments and expected to be judged and assessed on my abilities alone and as a result, I usually was.

I am a feminist, but then so was my father (DF of 2 girls) and my DH (also DF to 2 girls).

So I would define a feminist as a PERSON who believes in equal rights and opportunities for both sexes. An ACTIVE feminist would be one who not only believes in feminist principles but also campaigns or works towards equality, challenging sexist language, rules and stereotypes.

There I disagree granny23. I think a man can believe in equal rights for women, but cannot describe himself as a feminist. In the same way that the most avid supporter of a football club cannot call himself a footballer. I think you have to experience it or be capable of experiencing the problem to claim the describer.

You can also challenge sexist language, rules and stereotypes by just walking over them.As Maya Angelou said:

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Like M0nica, I have always taken feminism for granted. I don’t really need the word. I too was brought up in an environment where male/ female equality was taken for granted. My education was as important as my brother’s. My parents met at university in the 1920s, and it was taken for granted, both at home and at school, that I would go to university too. I went to a very academic all-girls school. I didn’t realise for many years that my mother going to university in 1925 was unusual.

I can honestly say that I have never suffered any disadvantage because I am female. - though I suspect there have been some advantages. My job of university teaching treated men and women equally. There were female professors, though there were more men, I suppose. I wasn’t ambitious, so this didn’t affect me personally. I wanted children and I wanted to look after them myself, which I did. That is where I had an advantage over men, who would not have been expected to have that choice.

I realise now that many women were not, and are not, treated equally with men, so there was a need for a feminist movement.

I feel I’m not expressing myself very clearly, but it’s very early in the morning!

I’d go along with much of Monica’s post. I’m a strong woman, made stronger and more resilient by life.

I did have to take a hammer to the glass ceiling in my professional life as I’m of an age where my chosen profession was dominated by men, and I was ambitious.

I agree with Granny23 that men can be, and should be, feminists.

I'm going to keep saying, loud and clearly, that I am a feminist. Until it is met with a shrug. Justin Trudeau

A think a feminist is someone who simply believes that men and women deserve equal rights in every sphere of life.

But also someone who recognises and celebrates the differences between the sexes without rancour.

I foolishly got engaged in a discussion on Mumsnet once about a rape and murder that occurred, and discovered a vast pit of man-hating "feminists" who made me shudder. It was as if they believed that men as a group are all laddish, insensitive and to be feared. I ventured to suggest that this might not be true of all men and got flamed in a big way!

So - feminism means working for women's equality, but, to my mind, it does not mean denigrating men.

I agree Luckygirl . There are many so called feminists out there who do nothing to further the cause by not seeing the equality and as you say denigrating all men.
Not the way to go in my opinion.

The problem in the argument is the idea of blame and fault in these sad cases. Venturing to say that all men do not desire to perpetrate these atrocities drew a response "Oh, so it's the woman's fault then" - no! A lot of muddled thinking I feel.

I was lucky to be employed in both my careers in organisations where your gender was completely irrelevant, and at no point did I feel any discrimination at all. Managers were as likely to to be women as men, and there was equal pay. So I never felt any personal need to jump up and be counted as a feminist. But I guess that would be seen as remiss by some.

I did not feel that being a woman carried with it the responsibility to become an active feminist, by joining organisations or protests. I just go on with my job, both at work, and at home, where I raised my 3 DDs to have the expectation that their gender should be an irrelevance in making their life choices.

I think equality is the key. My parents indulged my siblings and me equally so I did not feel disadvantaged as a girl. I grew up and had a suucessful career so I could be independent if I chose to be. I think we need a range of attitudes and approaches if the journey to full equality is to be achieved. I too find it hard to agree with those women who believe all men are bastards as experience tells me that whilst some clearly are a great number are not!

I SO agree with most of you!
My opinion is that people [men and women] should be treated equally, which doesn't mean "the same"!
I was brought up, one of 3 girls, pa was very egalitarian, etc.
I realised that I was a feminist was when I used to go to dinner parties, as the stay-at-home mum of 3 very young children and have conversation stopped when asked what i did. I used to obfuscate and say I worked very hard indeed. Eventually, it would transpire that i didn't earn money. [Interlocutor would turn to someone else to talk to - because obviously, I had no brain, no conversatoin and no money!] I used to rage. DH couldn't understand, although he says that i am brainier/educated than him... [Do househusbands have the same discrimination?]
So perhaps, I am a feminist in the sense that I believe in absolutely fairness. I also think that "positive discrimination" of any sort is probably,a mistake, because the perceived worth of the person is seen in the appointment not the appointee.
Rant over!

Fully agree with Luckygirl.

grandMattie, I suppose I must have come across that attitude too - that being a stay-at-home mother meant I had no brain, but if I did it didn’t bother me. I have always felt very confident about such things, and I would just have thought they were wrong, poor ignorant creatures. I think I always made it clear that my job before I gave it up was a highly intellectual one ? I knew several other SAHMs from the same sort of background

I detest the word 'feminist'. Let's just make the most of all of our opportunities, whatever sex we are, and be proud.

I'm with MOnica's opening contribution. So succinct. Nothing to add.

Aepgirl I am not sure why you detest the word feminist. What does it conjure up for you?

If the fact of being male/female is a barrier to having the opportunity you desire, what then?
Things are much better for many women than in the past when they were certainly percieved as less valuable /able contributers to society/work force etc etc. and treated without equality.
I personally feel that women, who have had the fortune to be treated equally in society, have some responsibility to speak out for thise who are still struggling to achieve that.

Luckygirl/Pecs. Agree 100%
I was late in obtaining a career due to bringing up my family.Making sure I did not have to depend entirely on anyone else and would miss out on all the things our children do in their early stages. Once in my chosen career I met many 'feminists' who were, bitchy, jealous to the point of running to' teacher' with their petty problems of how hard done by they were, unbelievably, ? by their sister feminists. I found my male colleagues were far more helpful in getting me to where I eventually found myself, and no it wasn't because I was a woman.
Once a feminist always a feminist? they are the ones who need to change. It's not what you are it's what you can do.

For me, a feminist is a woman who lets the door slam in my face.

In my first career as a singer, I wasn't troubled by feminist views or bias, as naturally men cannot sing women's roles and vice versa.

Having been brought up to regard men and women as equal, albeit different, most of my life I have just pointed out how ridiculous comments about women being inferior to men are.

As the years passed, I have found myself defending men against rabid feminist views, as lots of you have too, and felt I had to speak out against other prejudices about minorities: immigrants, homosexuals and anyone else perceived as inferior.

To me "feminist" basically means anyone who defends the proposition that women and men are equal and that laws must guarantee this equality.

There is only one area where I cannot wholeheartedly support total equality, as I do feel that women on active service in any branch of the military are at greater risk of being sexually abused and raped if taken prisoner and that they therefore should have the right to refuse a posting to combat areas without incurring any penalties. I feel only the woman concerned can and should decide whether she is willing to run that particular risk.

sarahellen not sure I do agree with all you say. Injustice and inequality is not acceptable whether male of female perpetrators. But for me the word 'feminist' is about redressing the imbalance of power that put men, generally, with the upper hand in society throughout history. Also, for me, it means ensuring people are not limited in their choices simply because of their sex. It means respecting work /lifestyle choices people make when they break stereotypes and not to be judgemental of those choices as long as they are not harming other people.

I consider myself a feminist. When I married in the 70s I had to give my salary details to my husband to go on his tax return, I could not deal with gas or electric suppliers and the Equal Pay Act had not been implemented. All those things were wrong, hence feminism.
I went to an academic Grammar School but it was still considered you would only work a few years before marrying and having a family. In fact I have always worked.
The younger generation have quite a different view and modern feminism can sometimes seem extreme.

grandmamoira sounds like my experience..think we forget how far feminism has brought us..we take for granted some hard won equality. I had a few years at home when 2nd babe arrived but returned to work when youngest was starting nursery class. No trousers allowed at work! Appointments made on how likely you were to get pregnant not how good you might be at the job! Perhaps the easier battles have been won and the last bastions of sex inequality needs more extreme measures?

A feminist is a woman who can't stop banging on about how unfair life is to females. She is blind to the fact that, in this country at least, the last couple of generations have experienced no obstacles whatsoever. Her natural home is Radio 4 between 10.00 and 11.00 a.m.

A male feminist is a man who wants to get into a female feminist's pants.

OK, I'll get my coat.. :-)

Like others I was brought up to feel 100% equal to anybody else no matter what gender, ethnicity or social position. However, I now have a point to make which troubles me greatly. I am the proud grandmother to 5 granddaughters aged 5-8 and am horrified by the gender stereotypes that I encounter in their day to day life. I think it is much worse than when I was growing up in the 70s. Disney princesses, pink and blue toy aisles in shops, almost all baby clothes are pink or blue. One little one desperately wanted to play football and was taken along to the local under 7s club but despite the best intentions of those in charge she felt like an outsider as the only girl and only went a few times. I despair for them sometimes.