Rude Songs!

Then there is The Threshing Machine. I also remember The Foggy, Foggy Dew.

Ah, the advantages of a university education!

What’s your problem Rufus?
What do you mean “count to ten””?
Elegran and I posted the same link of Kenneth McKellar singing thatsong.
Last time I try to do you a favour.

I daren’t Rufus !
In fact after I had posted it, I had very second and even third thoughts about doing so blush

MawBroon; Don't bother with translations. I followed Elegran's advice and copped it all in stereo! Why didn't you count to ten? You would then have avoided waking my long - time dormant memories (nightmares?) of suffering endless TV programmes of those kilted Scotch song and dance performers.
There must have been a serious shortage of quality progs. in those days.
I drink to your health. Cheers

I cane gone from s hool aged 11 sin ging 'Lady of Spain I adore you, take off your clothes I'll explore you' - my parents were scandalised!

I learnt the worm song in the Guides too.

I also use to sing 'oh Sir Jasper do n5it touch me' to the tune of Glory glory hallelujah' where each subsequent verse the last word was left off until you got to Oh Sir Jasper Do, then Oh Sir Jasper! OH SIR! OOOH! I thouht it hilarious.

Then there was the Foggy foggy dew.
My brothers used to recite:
Hark hark I hear thunder
Must be the peas I ate last Sunday
Quick quick, open the lav door
Too late too late, done it on the floor.

Also: A little birdie flying high
Dropped a message from the sky
Ugh said the farmer , wipung his eye
I'm jolly glad that cows don't fly!

All these are faily innocent schoolboy/girl humour!

My mother always used to say that a dirty mind was a constant joy

What about that little ditty “Hitler has only got one ball.....”

Well what a raunchy lot we Gransnetters are. I do confess to knowing the words of quite a few of those songs, as well 'Twas on the good ship Venus' etc.

Used to sing all the rude ones
The ball of
The engineers hymn
The engineers song
I stood on the bridge at midnight
And many more.

I think it comes from being a medical student married. To an engineer, and spending a little time in the union bar.

I used to love Andy Stewart, I showed a photo of him to my cousin showing how similar they looked, she wasn’t very happy about that.

Sorry, I've just followed Mawbroon's link and found that I have posted the same one. Should have read previous posts properly first.

Try Googling The Ball of Kirriemuir translations, Rufus You will find translations of not just one but several different versions.
There is also a mostly-comprehensible-to-sassenachs recording on www.youtube.com/watch?v=y64uWjtSKAo of Kenneth McKellar (his White Heather Club appearances were beloved by respectable matrons) singing an X-rated version. But the first photo on that Youtube clip is actually of Andy Stewart

I daren’t Rufus !
In fact after I had posted it, I had very second and even third thoughts about doing so

The Ball of Kirriemuir

MawBroon, Far be it for me to confess to having a "delicate disposition", so I was conned into having a look, but I couldn't understand a word of it.
My ears must have re-programmed to Strine over the years.
Could you please post subtitles (in English), or a dubbed version, just as they do with foreign films on TV down under.? Thank you!
OoRoo

The favourite of my primary school:

Sinbad was a sailor
His father was one too
Sinbad went to heaven
His father went to -

- Helensburgh Castle
High upon a rock
If you want to go there
You have to show your -

- Cocktails
Ginger beer
Seven p a glass
If you do not like it
We’ll shove it up your -

- Ask no questions
Tell no lies
That’s how Sinbad
Got to paraaaaaadiseeeeee

Mary had a little lamb
She thought it was so silly
She threw it up into the air
And caught it by its -

- Willy was a sheepdog
Lying on the grass
Along came a bumblebee
And stung him up the -

- Ask no questions
Tell no lies
That’s how Willy
Got to paraaaaadiseeeeee

Our version was
Auntie Mary had a canary, up the leg of her draws,
When she was sleeping, I was peeping, up the leg of her draws.

My version of Auntie Mary had a canary was:
When she farted
Down it darted
Down the leg of her drawers

I'm Popeyes's sailor man
I live in a caravan.
There's a hole in the middle
Where I do a p---le
I'm Popeye the sailor man

Also
Red, white and blue
You dirty kangaroo.
Sitting on the lamppost
Doing number 2

Auntie Mary had a canary,
Up the leg of her drawers,
She pulled a string to make it sing,
And out came Santa Clause!

Come into the garden Maud
and don't be so pertickelar
If you do not want lying down
We can do it perpendicular

I was taught that one by my FiL!

tanith, I went to Malorees primary but we moved to Harrow before I went to senior school - my dad was a policeman and we lived in the police accomodation just off Kilburn High Road, between Kilburn and Brondesbury stations. Never met anyone else born in Kilburn so hello tanith ?

As kids we sang " auntie Mary had a canary up the leg of her draws, when she darted it departed down the leg of her draws. To the tune of Chase me Charlie..which is probably not the original either!

Maw. I remember bits of what is I suppose the 'Southern' version of the Ball...
Four and twenty virgins came down from Inverness
And when the Ball was over there were four and twenty less.
Singing balls to your father ar*e against the wall
If you've never been sha**ed on a Saturday night you've never been sha**ed at all!
It goes on at some length introducing various characters doing outrageous things. One that I clearly remember attending the Ball was the Village idiot who pulled a certain part of his anatomy over his head and shouted down it!!
I heard this song in the doctors mess and although it was funny I was also scandalized (was quite young and comparatively innocent) which is probably why I remember it so well

The x-rated version

Warning!
(Not for those of a delicate disposition)

The Ball of Kirriemuir

g.co/kgs/fbgnt3

In the South of France where the naked ladies dance, singing Nellie with your Belly close to mine was the version we sang, but I can't remember any more.