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Rude Songs!

(117 Posts)
Kateykrunch Fri 20-Jul-18 18:59:51

Following on from the ‘shove Granny off the bus’ theme. My Mum also taught my kids the song...’Maria, Maria, she peed on the fire’...and they taught it to some other kids who’s Mums were less than impressed. I also remember the ‘It was in Bagdad” song!

lemongrove Fri 20-Jul-18 19:25:49

‘It was in Baghdad that me mother met me dad’
That’s the only line I remember Katy was the rest of it rude?

Cherrytree59 Fri 20-Jul-18 19:30:37

kateykrunch it's 'ye canny shove her granny off the bus' ?.
That's not rude that's good advicegrin

The sea gulls around the lighthouse springs to mind.
Have sang a few as DH was a rugby player in his day.

Jane10 Fri 20-Jul-18 19:31:47

'Singing Nelly put your belly next to mine'
Is the next line?

Jane10 Fri 20-Jul-18 19:32:28

That's for lemongrove's post.

chelseababy Fri 20-Jul-18 19:35:36

My sister Belinda she p***d out the window....
To the tune of Magic Moments ...don't know the rest

Bluegal Fri 20-Jul-18 19:43:20

?. There were lots of strange songs some possibly misinterpreted words? Does anyone remember “I think I’ll go and eat worms?” This was actually sung at school but could be a Scottish one only as nobody in England seems to remember it! It went nobody loves me, everybody hates me.. I think I’ll go and eat worms..... ?. Strange choice for schools to sing but was very popular... lots more like that too

Kateykrunch Fri 20-Jul-18 19:46:24

It was in Bagdad, where me mother met me dad, it was in the foreign legion where they did a dirty treason, with her long black hair and her ti**ies hanging there, singing, Nelly put yer belly next to mine lol.

Kateykrunch Fri 20-Jul-18 19:47:24

Maria, maria, she peed on the fire, the fire was hot so she peed in the pot the pot ......... cant remember the rest lol

Kateykrunch Fri 20-Jul-18 19:49:10

No body likes me, everybody hates me, cos I suck on worms, fat ones, thin ones.........

Jalima1108 Fri 20-Jul-18 19:49:14

Does anyone remember “I think I’ll go and eat worms?”

Oh yes Bluegal!
In fact we sing it whenever we come home and find there is no message on the answerphone grin
Nobody loves us, everybody hates us
Think I'll go and eat worms

The DC used to love singing that one.

SueDonim Fri 20-Jul-18 20:33:06

I sang the worm song in my childhood in deepest Kent!

My mother taught me this:
Nellie went down to the water,
Nellie went down to the stream.
She peed for an hour and a quarter,
You couldn't see Nellie for steam.

Also at Xmas:

We Three Kings of Trafalgar Square,
Selling knickers for tuppence a pair.
Quite fantastic, no elastic,
Not very safe to wear!

grin

Oopsadaisy53 Fri 20-Jul-18 20:43:27

I’m going down the garden to eat worms
Long tall skinny ones
Short fat wriggly ones
Worms worms worms worms worms
Bite their heads off
Shlluurp their juice out, throw their skins away
Nobody love me everybody hates me,
I’m going to eat worms all day.

Some things you never forget!

How about

He fell 10000 feet without a parachute
And he ain’t gonna fly no more.....

Beau Fri 20-Jul-18 21:13:58

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me
Think I'll go and eat worms
Big fat juicy ones, little thin skinny ones,
See how they wriggle and squirm.
Bite off the heads and suck out the juice
And throw the skins away
Nobody knows just how I thrive
On worms three times a day.

That was the version we had at school in Kilburn, London in the 1960's

tanith Fri 20-Jul-18 21:31:38

Exactly how I remember it Beau I was born in Kilburn went to Carlton Vale school, how about you?

Blinko Fri 20-Jul-18 21:48:48

^He fell 10000 feet without a parachute on his back
And he ain’t gonna fly no more.....^

To the tune of Glory, glory Hallelujah...

They scraped him off the tarmac like a pound o strawberry jam
An he aint gonna jump no more....

BlueBelle Fri 20-Jul-18 21:49:41

Sang the ‘worm’ song in the guides down in Silly Suffolk
but don’t know any of the others

Deedaa Fri 20-Jul-18 22:12:00

In the South of France where the naked ladies dance, singing Nellie with your Belly close to mine was the version we sang, but I can't remember any more.

MawBroon Fri 20-Jul-18 22:31:37

Warning!
(Not for those of a delicate disposition)

The Ball of Kirriemuir

g.co/kgs/fbgnt3

MawBroon Fri 20-Jul-18 22:32:46

The x-rated version
blushblush

MrsAllboys Fri 20-Jul-18 23:04:32

Maw. I remember bits of what is I suppose the 'Southern' version of the Ball...
Four and twenty virgins came down from Inverness
And when the Ball was over there were four and twenty less.
Singing balls to your father ar*e against the wall
If you've never been sha**ed on a Saturday night you've never been sha**ed at all!
It goes on at some length introducing various characters doing outrageous things. One that I clearly remember attending the Ball was the Village idiot who pulled a certain part of his anatomy over his head and shouted down it!!
I heard this song in the doctors mess and although it was funny I was also scandalized (was quite young and comparatively innocent) which is probably why I remember it so wellgrin

PECS Fri 20-Jul-18 23:09:08

As kids we sang " auntie Mary had a canary up the leg of her draws, when she darted it departed down the leg of her draws. To the tune of Chase me Charlie..which is probably not the original either!

Beau Fri 20-Jul-18 23:17:47

tanith, I went to Malorees primary but we moved to Harrow before I went to senior school - my dad was a policeman and we lived in the police accomodation just off Kilburn High Road, between Kilburn and Brondesbury stations. Never met anyone else born in Kilburn so hello tanith ?

M0nica Fri 20-Jul-18 23:32:55

Come into the garden Maud
and don't be so pertickelar
If you do not want lying down
We can do it perpendicular

I was taught that one by my FiL!

Jane10 Sat 21-Jul-18 10:15:29

Auntie Mary had a canary,
Up the leg of her drawers,
She pulled a string to make it sing,
And out came Santa Clause!