On the Beach!

Oops! *absolutely

The mothers you describe are not real mothers or minders. If they were, their children would come first at least during their years before adulthood.
I absolutemy lived being immersed in virtually everything my children were involved in, whether on holiday, days out, weekends or evenings in besides all the school activities.
It's heartbreaking to think of children happily drawing a picture to show to their mum (it's usually mums isn't it?) or, as the OP witnessed, building a castle in the sand which mum can't be bothered to look at.
I find that dreadfully sad.
Even if we'd had mobile phones when mine were growing up, there is no way I'd have it on or be tempted to look at it, even nowadays I don't take it shopping or to the bathroom or even on day trips.
If it rings while I'm cooking or eating or anything else, it can go to voicemail.

Having listened to a few of my friends complaining about 'young mums who are always on their phones', I decided to count up how many people I see on their phones on my walks into town - various times of the day, but usually at least one walk per day. I pass a large number of people on my way, and I never count more than 5. These will be a mixture of old and young, men and women, people with or without children. It really isn't a huge problem. The children who are being ignored in this way would be ignored anyway, most likely, and the young mums and dads were probably ignored themselves as children.

It’s just the way of the world now I think. I don’t “get” why my adult children and/or partners come to see me sometimes! They say “hello” then plonk themselves on the couch, phone in hand .. “do you want a coffee?” “Erm? What’s that?” Me: “sorry it was a complicated question”. Bahaha. And so it goes on. All the while me thinking... you could have stayed at home on your phone ?.

Sadly just the way it is but I do try to set by example and not pick my phone up when I have visitors.

What really makes me irate, OK, angry, is seeing parents glued to phones while they're supposed to be watching them at the beach or pool.
As someone who very nearly had a tiny dd drown while my back was so briefly turned - WAY pre mobile phones, and I'd thought I was SO careful, I know just how quickly it can happen.

I wondered about that to kitty. We should all be able to remember the feelings of pressure when ours were little.
Maybe it's also a way of cutting off temporarily to be themselves. Instead at the beck and call of everyone else.

It's easy to see faults with young parents, as I don't expect mobiles had been invented when the majority of GNs had small children it's difficult to truthfully know just how perfect we would have been.

Presumably this obsession with phones and social media is a fad that will pass, but there is good reason to suspect that the parents ignoring toddlers now will be wondering why their children don't want to spend time with them in a few years time!

On the bright side, I caught up with a day-care mum out walking with three toddlers alongside the pram that a smaller boy was in. They were singing "Itsy-bitsy spider" when I drew level with them, finished it, said hello to me, then we chatted about the need to keep sun-hats ON and the little girl at the front turned to me and said "That's a dustbin!". I replied that it was my dustbin and showed them where my cat was hiding under the hedge.

This day care mum was clearly doing a good job of bringing up children, and I just hope the children whose parents aren't have a day-care mum like her.

Accessories! Adult children (darn autocorrect )

@oldwoman70 that couple could be me and my oh! I may interact with my gc and accessories but my oh has little of interest to say so if out I talk to other people or check up on emails etc. Trying to have a sensible conversation with him is hard work and worse since he retired

My dil is same with our 10 month old Gc. Her mother spends all her time taking pics and posting on fb. The little time we see them I just enjoy the interaction and I obviously don't need to take any photos as there are 100s to be viewed on social media

I gave up socializing with a group of young mums at the gym.They looked at phones and had no conversation, even to acknowledge me.

I don't understand the need to be constantly in touch.

Well was ever thus
How did my mother spend 45 mins gossiping at the school gates then get back on the landline or go and pop round their houses to the very same people when we got home and still have stuff to say??

I don't understand the need to be constantly in touch. I do have a mobile phone but I don't use it to access the internet. I switch it off when I get in my car and very often forget to switch it back on again. I'm not sure where it is right now (in the kitchen I think!). I do take it into the bedroom at night (switched off) in case I have an emergency and often find it is still in my handbag switched off from when I was out earlier in the day. I have never used it when out with friends for a meal or a drink, yet many people (of all ages) seem to think they will miss something really exciting if they switch off the phone. I long to tell someone that no-one is really interested in seeing a picture of their lunch!

A few years ago I was walking with a friend's daughter who had her child in a pushchair, the child facing outward. I asked why she didn't have the child facing, she said "it's me time when I take him out in the pushchair I see enough of him all day" I was flabbergasted.

I agree, it is how children expand their vocabulary. I also think it is sad that families don’t watch tv together either as I have such happy memories of us all sitting down together and watching children’s programmes such as Hector’s House when they were little, later Dad’s Army and Morecambe and Wise and even later Fawlty Towers. I also remember all us sitting down and watching the moon landing when our older son was 3 and our younger son was 1. These memories are ones I will treasure. Everybody in the family seems to have their own tv or screen now.

I agree it's sad when parents do this but I don't think it's the norm. I have to say my DD , her friends and my friends DD are very engaged and responsive with their children. So much so m DD has her phone on silent most of the time. Also I am not sure it is any worse than parents in our day who would spend all their tine talking to their friends reading magazines etc instead we of enjoying their children and thankfully something I haven't seen for a long time smoking around children without a thought .

Its not just mums who are constantly on their phones. I have been out to lunch or dinner lately and have noticed that people sitting at the next table usually in their 20's or 30's are all on their mobile phones. They are actually sitting in a restaurant or café together at the same table, not talking to each other but interacting with their phones. Then the waiter or waitress will come over with their food, they then put their phones down, eat, still not talking during this, then once they finish they are on the mobile phones again. Why bother, why not just stay at home and order the meal in. A lot cheaper. This is not a one off, I see it a lot. Sad really, maybe they don't have the confidence to interact with each other, maybe they don't have the social skills. My phone is in my bag. I check it later after the meal or at home. As others have said, maybe they are addicted, or they think that the "friends" on there are real friends. Real friends support you, visit or call. Strange thing. I choose not to be caught up in this false life. Have others seen this as well?

Not long ago a young dad pushing his child in its pushchair was so absorbed on his phone that he actually veered off the pavement onto the road almost into our car. Luckily we stopped in good time and no incident occured. The dad just looked at us got the pushchair back on the pavement and carried on looking at his phone again. Since when did people become so magnetically attached to their phones that they find it impossible to leave them alone for even a short time?
As another person has said about how many people in the doctors surgery were on their phones, it's the same at our surgery. Some of them almost miss their turn as they miss the beep as their name comes up on the screen.

At the time of the swine flu scare, about 9 years ago, our local surgery banned magazines from the waiting room. Perhaps if they relaxed this ban, waiting patients wouldn't spend so much time on their phones! I'd prefer a magazine, even an old one!

It is quite frightening this modern world I see lots of mum's on the buses with a toddler and as you say their face down on the phone poor child ignored you only have to look around in coffee shops and everyone has their head in their phones I try not to answer mine when our with people and when I'm with my lovely grandson I engage with him as you say time soon goes by

I notice it particularly on buses - signs of boredom, wanting attention ,etc from the baby/child are either ignored or irritably shushed or scolded. luckily,there's usually someone else who notices and waves or pulls faces , which distract for a while .

The phone thing is just the latest addition to our distractions - related to but not the whole story. There are parents who see their children as people and there are the others. I love to see parents talking to their children. But I do remember being picked on as a bit odd when I had a youngster and used to talk to her in the shop. Mind you she knows how to compare prices and that the stuff put at the checkout to tempt you is only 'for stupid people' ;)

On a similar note, yesterday I mentioned to my DIL that GS didn’t seem to be doing much socialising this holiday. She said that nowadays they’re all at home on games machines and phones and communicate that way - no need to go to each other’s houses. Incidentally she is a Mum who is totally welded to her phone. Would be interesting to see what will happes in 10/20 years - will meeting people and interacting be a thing of the past?

I agree with Panache. I too have seen Mums pushing buggies glued to their phones and toddlers running around. One winter day the baby in the Pram was barefoot and crying.