On the Beach!

Written, not writtenb!

Parents who ignore their children in favour of their phones are depriving their offspring by hampering their language development. Children are 'programmed' to learn and develop language in the years up to five and, without good language skills, it is well documented that pupils fall behind in school.

We already have scare stories of kids who turn up to first school overweight and in nappies and I recently read the first, no doubt of many, articles about children starting school without being able to speak properly.

I remember about a decade ago when I was still teaching being shocked by a year seven (eleven year olds) some of whom did not know their own addresses.

Of course, some will say that in the age of Google, Facebook and texting the opportunities for encountering the writtenb word are expanding and there is something to that. However, there is no substitute for early years face to face contact between child and adult.

It was 2009 when I went to US to stay with friends.They had asked neighbours for dinner to meet me. When they arrived, all three, parents and daughter, put their mobile phones face up on the table beside their places. I was appalled, such rudeness. And the daughter answered hers too, during the meal. I was interested to read all the posts, and saddened too.

Whilst there are still many good parents out there, my friend looks after her children beautifully, despite losing her husband to cancer when they were still relatively young. I sadly have to agree with Kupari45. We see it all the time. You see them pushing their children in pushchairs, mum glued to the phone. We were in a restaurant one time and the whole family, around 7 of them were glued to their phones! It's very sad to see, especially for the younger children, who need interaction.

theresacoo .If people have to rely on a phone for a break from their children then they shouldn't be parents.

There is a video on Fb showing officials confiscating phones from parents so that they look out for their children’s safety rather than look at their phones

I totally agree, most Mums these days seem to be attached to their phones, ignoring their children, then same children walk about with their earphones attached and constantly look at the phone, ignoring traffic, other people on the pavemnet etc. How pleasant it is sometimes to meet people who actually make eye contact and even say hello.

it is so sad and I feel it is bad parenting

Recently, in my local GP surgery, I counted out of the twenty folk including myself who were waiting to see a doc, only myself and one other person did not have a phone stuck to their hand. Not that I would expect a surgery to be seen as a venue for social gatherings, but what is this obsession, I can find no other word, to be constantly on a phone?

Iam64 I agree it is wrong to imply that all mums are wedded to their mobile phones or to be judgmental about those who are (and, incidentally, I have also seen dads glued to their mobile phones when they take their children to the play park near where we live).

However, I think it is important that we understand that tech devices and social networking sites are designed to be addictive and can easily have a very corrosive effect on inter-personal relationships and psychological wellbeing.

This isn't just about the relationship between parent and child It's about all areas of social interaction.

It is being reported that young people are experiencing feelings of worthlessness because the online profiles of their peers are more "exciting" than their own or because their own contributions are not receiving many "likes". This is dangerous and I think it needs to be discussed.

As a childless woman it breaks my heart to see young children being ignored by their parents. However, this isn't limited to the young. I was in a cafe recently and at the next table were an older couple - they ate a meal without saying a word to each other but were glued to their phones. It was only as they were leaving they spoke to each other!

I meant to add ... that at some stage, the kids will just stop trying to talk to their Mums and how tragic will that be ....

I have seen this scenario so often at the school gate when picking my grandchildren up. The kids come out all excited wanting to tell their Mums about their day and the Mums can’t even put the phone down for 5 mins just to listen to them. It’s just so sad.

London is really bad for this. It makes me sad to see chatty children shut down like this by their parent. Even shouted at, “Will you just stop going on and on”. Poor children.

Ignoring our children started with the design of the modern buggy.

A lasting memory for me is seeing my DGD at two years old, pushing her dolls pram and holding her toy mobile phone in her neck as she walked along. She certainly learned very young from her mum.

When my two were young, in the 1970s, I never used to have the radio turned on, as I didn't want to miss anything they said, and 30 years later it was the same when my grandchildren were here. Some of my best memories of those times are the fascinating conversations we had and amusing comments they made.

I live in London and I have seen a woman talking on a phone, looking down, push a toddler in a pushchair straight off the pavement and into the road without looking either way for traffic. Scary!!

to be fair, kids are demanding.

they could have spent the day together talking to their kids and you have just seen a tiny bit. parents deserve a break too!
years ago children were seen and not heard and now they take over the show!

Quite so Iam I agree

It’s a bit like rowdy children - we notice them but not those who are behaving well.

There have always been parents who are less focussed on their children than would be optimum for the children. I'd prefer a world where mobiles didn't dominate so much, especially for school age children. I don't live in that world though.
I've spent more time than usual with my adult children and their friends recently and can report that my observation is they do not spend all day on their phones ignoring their children. I walk my dogs at our local park and other open spaces, where I meet lots of young people who are engaged with their children, rather than watching their phones.
I do feel we can become very judgemental and critical of young parents and it would do us good to remember some of the cold, critical and grumpy older people who criticised our parenting at every opportunity.

BBbevan: See this phone thing constantly. In play parks , even when pushing a pram. In our day babies faced their mothers pushing the pram, and there was constant interaction. Now children, more often than not, face away.

My children faced away from me. There was so much more interesting stuff to watch than mum's face. It didn't stop us talking about what was going on.

I don't think we can know whether this sort of mobile phone obsession is typical of most mums. I suspect it isn't but it certainly is something I am noticing more frequently. It is truly sad to see children being ignored in favour of something far less important.

I think perhaps the point we are missing is that people are using their phones to access social networking sites such as Facebook. As a recent, quite frightening, programme on TV showed, these networks have been deliberately designed to be addictive and the psychology behind them is very much modelled on the reinforcement principles used in casinos and on internet gambling sites.

The fact is, many people are addicted to social networking sites, which they access through their mobile phones. It is a truly worrying situation but I don't have any answers as to how this creeping tyranny can be overcome.

Yes, but I' m glued to my phone looking at GN so I feel a hypocrite criticising them. However I am not currently looking after a child, or eating a meal or ignoring other's conversations. I am on my own drinking my after meal coffee while DH is in the garden, so perhaps I c an be let off?

Less likely to happen on the beaches around here - there’s no signal.