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I can never again go into my garden

(56 Posts)
HurdyGurdy Wed 29-Aug-18 17:28:10

Dramatic, but true.

I have a total phobia of amphibians. Real, screaming meltdowns if I am near one. I can't even look at pictures of them without feeling queasy.

I was cutting the grass at the weekend, and went to move some plant paraphernalia out of the way. In my cold frame I saw what I thought was a month fluttering around. Closer inspection revealed it was a frog. A teeny tiny one, but a frog nevertheless.

Cue screaming ab-dabs and me doing a Ussain Bolt impression into the house. DH went out and removed the thing.

I was out picking some blueberries yesterday and as I walked up the garden path back to the house there on the path was a teeny tiny frog. Hopping.

Now I don't know if it was the same frog as at the weekend that had found its way back, or if it was another one. But I have not been outside again since. I won't even have the back door open for fear that it will find its way in.

Now I know I have written this in a slightly light hearted way, but I really am petrified of the things. I know they won't hurt, and I know they are probably frightened by me and my size, and I know there are those who find them appealing, but I am not one of those people.

Please!! Is there any way of ridding my garden of those things, and preventing them from ever wanting to come back again? We don't have a pond (that got filled in as the very first job we did when we moved in 25 years ago), neither do our neighbours on either side. I don't know about the houses whose gardens we back onto, as garden buildings and trees block the view.

annodomini Wed 29-Aug-18 17:37:27

My niece, who had a deep-rooted fear of spiders, went on a course to familiarise her with them and conquer her phobia. It worked and she can now pick them up with no qualms. I wonder if any similar courses might exist for those with a fear of amphibians. Maybe someone on this forum will have some information that could help you. It would be such a shame if you could never again go into your garden.

BlueBelle Wed 29-Aug-18 17:49:26

Of course you need to face your fear with a qualified person People can touch snakes and fly in aeroplanes after a very few sessions it’s a totally unfounded fear as you know and the more you allow that fear on board, the stronger it will get you know the frog especially a tiny one can’t hurt you but the more you allow a fear to take over the stronger it will get
Find a professional who deals in phobias and you will be back in your garden in no time but you have to be prepared to allow it to work for you
Good luck

crystaltipps Wed 29-Aug-18 17:49:33

Rather than trying to eliminate frogs from your garden, who are probably doing a good job of eating slugs and bugs, I agree it would be better to tackle your phobia. You realise it’s irrational which is the first step. A competent behavioural therapist could rid you of this phobia in a short session or two.

muffinthemoo Wed 29-Aug-18 17:55:17

I wish I could rehome your froggy interlopers for you, we love them sad

KatyK Wed 29-Aug-18 18:02:30

We get hundreds. I'm not keen but we have a canal at the bottom of the garden .

Melanieeastanglia Wed 29-Aug-18 20:58:46

I am sorry for you as you must feel so frightened. Perhaps try to get help for the phobia.

I know someone who is terrified of bananas - she knows it is silly.

Bathsheba Wed 29-Aug-18 22:21:18

Bananas??? How can someone be terrified of bananas? I mean, what can they do? They don't move confused

Melanieeastanglia Wed 29-Aug-18 22:30:02

Apparently, people can have bizarre phobias about inanimate objects. It's no good asking me why but it is, it seems, a "thing".

mcem Wed 29-Aug-18 22:39:00

My DD is phobic about bananas too. Don't remember any childhood trauma.
My totally irrational phobia is worms!
I meet one in the garden, uncurl my toes and rub away the goosebumps as I race indoors! One cup of tea later, venture out and find it's gone.
I do sympathise with your phobia but I find my accompanying feelings of stupidity are hard to deal with.

BlueBelle Wed 29-Aug-18 23:27:34

I too wish I could have your frogs I really love them I have a pond ready but no frogs, my daughter can’t stand them has a dry garden but a family of frogs
You can have a phobia about anything Bathsheba I once had a colleague who had never ever seen a real snake but would faint at a picture of one well a picture can’t hurt you either

Izabella Wed 29-Aug-18 23:28:21

Phobias are irrational but that does not give anyone the right to ridicule or express disbelief. Neither can sufferers expect others to understand the terrors experienced. I used to be a terrible arachnophobic but following professional help can now deal with spiders of any size.

Life is too short to continue this fear so PLEASE seek help. Your GP is your first point of call and good luck

NfkDumpling Thu 30-Aug-18 07:18:10

I have a fear of dead things. Even more stupid is that I’m afraid they might move! A dead bird on the path and I have to cross the road. I mean - it’s dead. A mauled mass. I KNOW it’s not going anywhere, but I still have to cross over.

With much effort, I have improved over the years, but I understand completely where Hurdygurdy is coming from. I agree with the others that help is needed. After all frogs move. At least, despite my fear, I know that the dead thing will stay put and, if in the garden, I can get someone (DH) to remove it and it won’t really return.

OldMeg Thu 30-Aug-18 07:29:52

Please seek help. I have an irrational fear of tigers, no idea why, I just do. Happily this does not impact on my life as there are none roaming wild in this country.

This is impacting on the enjoyment of your garden. A good therapist will help you.

Baggs Thu 30-Aug-18 10:38:42

Is it possible to have an irrational fear of tigers? I'd have thought that to fear tigers is completely rational.

Baggs Thu 30-Aug-18 10:39:52

Sorry about the frog fear, hg. I think the advice to go get help with your phobia is good.

OldMeg Thu 30-Aug-18 10:47:16

I agree in one way Baggs as they are dangerous animals. But I’ve never seen one except behind bars or on TV. Don’t ask me why but lions, cheetahs, panthers, bears, etc don’t bother me in the least.

Perhaps I was attacked by one in a previous life!

KatyK Thu 30-Aug-18 11:25:04

People can have phobias about anything. There was a man on TV a while ago who was terrified of tomato ketchup. He was an intelligent, reasonable man. There is no logic to it.

Melanieeastanglia Thu 30-Aug-18 15:46:27

I am similar to NfkDumpling as I fear dead animals. It is odd but I am not afraid of dead humans and, yes, I have seen dead humans!

Once I saw a dead bird in the garden and I was worried all day at work because I knew I'd have to remove it when I got home. I was lucky though. A cat must have come in my garden because the dead bird was gone when I came home. Phew!!

HurdyGurdy probably isn't afraid of dead birds at all!

I wouldn't exactly say I have a phobia but they do frighten me a bit.

PECS Thu 30-Aug-18 15:57:07

Try can help with these phobias.

HurdyGurdy Thu 30-Aug-18 23:22:44

Thank you all. I have sadly passed my phobia on to my daughter, and now my granddaughter is saying she doesn't like them, although she's not displaying signs of phobia, thankfully.

I never even thought about therapy/counselling for this. I wish I had - I've been like this for almost all my life.

I will see if both my daughter and I can get help with this.

It is ridiculous, I know. But that's what phobias are all about.

Butterflykisses Fri 31-Aug-18 08:02:19

My totally irrational fear is slugs and snails... in fact I had a nightmare about them last night!

crystaltipps Fri 31-Aug-18 08:07:17

A combination of hypnotherapy / behavioural therapy would be effective. London zoo used to run a therapy programme for people with animal ( usually spiders) phobias ( I’m not sure if they still run it). I took some students to one of these sessions when we were studying phobias. The hypnotherapy bit relaxes you, as it’s impossible to be anxious and relaxed at the same time. Whilst relaxed you will be told all manner of interesting facts about the phobic animal - for frogs it could be that they are esssential to life on the planet in some way how useful they are to the life cycle etc. This is to help you think more positively about frogs. Whilst relaxed you may be shown a picture of a frog. If you feel panicked by a picture the therapist will wait until the panic goes down as it will eventually. A competent therapist won’t make you do anything you don’t feel ready for. You will then be gradually exposed to the phobia , in combination with relaxation. By the end you will be able to pick up a frog without any problem. You won’t believe this but I’ve seen it done. People with years of spider phobias picking up a tarantula for example. The thing is, avoiding frogs just reinforces the phobia , it’s a learned response as you show with your daughter. You can unlearn the phobia with help, and although this may seem impossible, it can be achieved quite easily.

Tamayra Fri 31-Aug-18 08:15:56

I’m terrified of going into the water
Everyone else goes swimming but not me
I so wish I could swim like a dolphin sad

paperbackbutterfly Fri 31-Aug-18 08:23:39

My sister is terrified of balloons.