Retirement - one of life’s big changes

There are those who planned, scrimped and saved for their old age. There are those who, either through luck or hard work, ended up in jobs with good pension schemes. Or some who inherited money or property.

There are those who were unfortunate, and despite working hard, missed out on such opportunities. And there are those who lived for today and never gave a thought to planning for retirement.

Some mind sound ‘smug’ and others who might sound resentful. That’s life!

Make a bucket list and have fun working thro it ! I spend quality time with AC and GC, I travel a lot, I meet friends for lunch or long walks, theatre breaks in London and have joined an “Over 50’s Meet Up” group and they do all sorts of things. I do Invigilation in a school at exams time, you can pick and choose the days you do, and in my spare time I make patchwork quilts to sell at Craft Fairs. My diary is always busy, I love it and am so enjoying retirement.

Retirement is in line with marriage and parenting in that most of us are not well prepared for these big life changes.

DH started work again straight after we both retired and has only recently cut his work right back and is still adjusting. No sign yet of him tackling the long list of things he had planned to do instead!
Meanwhile I keep pretty busy much of the time but with time to relax too.

I was not unhappy to retire so packed it in at the grand old age of 55.The last twenty years of my work took me to far away places and I had enough of living out of suitcases. I found it easy to adapt as there were many things to occupy me,my garden being the main interest, which my work had prevented me from doing. No regrets what so ever. DH was not so adaptable when it came to his retirement and there were a few ???? tense moments but he took up charity work which got us out of being under one another's feet twenty four seven until unfortunately his health deteriorated when there were no options.

In the ‘good old days’ employers offered pre retirement course which would address some of the issues encountered. I missed out on this and I reckon it took me around a year to embrace it. Loss of status was maybe the hardest thing for me to accept but I gritted my teeth and I’ve made it! The very thought of returning to work gives me the shivers. I think any good counselling service would be able to help the adjustment period.

I was in senior nursing management ill, stressed and worn out. I asked for flexi or part time and was refused so I retired. It was too early and its taken me several years to find a lifestyle but I still miss clinical work, the nurses and the patients.

My OH was offered a pre retirement day and we went along, talks by various people including a GP who said if we followed every food fad we would have a well balanced diet! It was interesting but made no difference to the actual early problems of adjusting to retirement particularly for my OH who had a stressful job, took ages to wind down and sort our days out - then the DGC started to arrive and my mum got older and older and I was running around everywhere.

Can some kind person please explain what loss of status means. Several friends have mentioned it when I have suggested they leave their partners. I am unaware if I have ever had any status. Thanks.

hillwalker same here!

being essentially an idle so and so I love retirement.DH did return to work just part time, and still does the odd bit of tutoring here and there.Mainly though, he is happy to potter about.Only having one car these days is sometimes a problem, but not one to justify the expense of keeping two cars going, and the bus passes come in handy.

Hillwalker70 has just made me feel normal. I too am not social, love my own company and quite happily fill my time will a multitude of hobbies. We don't have to be in a social whirl volunteering our time for anyone else, unless we want to.

And to my knowledge I have never had a status either!

I suppose, hillwalker70 that people who talk about “loss of status” possibly mean loss of a particular identity, for example they may have held a senior post that held some status to it, or they may have been in the professions and known by their title, eg doctor, head teacher, Detective sergeant or whatever. Then they retire and don’t hold those responsibilities any more. Some may find this hard to adjust to. Others, perhaps not.
I may be wrong, but that’s how I interpret it. ?

I love being retired. I am so busy, I wonder how I ever managed to squeeze in a full-time job !!

I love be retired but I had always worked full time and was a bit concerned about retiring. My advice would be to find out what's on (and what discounts you can get) but don't commit to too much too soon. I have found great groups in U3A and I do some volunteering and fill my time nicely.

I had to Medically retire late 40's & hated it, still do now at 70. Loved my job & didnt know were i fitted in. Wandered around thinking 'why me, what have i done to deserve this'? Then I walked into a charity shop looking for cheap shirts for my son who was still at school. Started Volunteering the next week & never looked back. After 24 years I am still there & cannot imagine not having the 'job' to go to the days i am there! Some people look down on Charity shops but they saved my sanity at a very bad time! So early retirement was not so bad after all!

I'm sure the enjoyment of retirement in general is influenced hugely by 2 things: health and income.

Without good health you're severely limited in what you can do; and sadly, with no money other than for day-to-day living, many enjoyable leisure activities are simply not possible..

Thank you H70 for making me smile. I had this status thing at work but, by golly, at home I was pretty ordinary and grounded. You kind of become a split personality but I had no difficulty with that whatsoever. I rather feel that one was always the perfect foil for the other. I did my retirement in stages moving from full time to lesser hours until complete departure from paid employment at 74. Worked perfectly for me. I'm now phasing out on voluntary work too and plan to indulge in lunches, gardening, interior decorating, cinema/theatre and seeing as much of family as is practicable for them. Life is indeed good but I attribute much of that to my good fortune of having good health so far. Nothing I have especially striven for but just lucky so far I guess. It certainly matters.

Love being retired as do all of my friends. I am the poorest of them and a widow but no matter. I can;t think of how I arose at 6.30 a.m. to take the dog for a walk and be in the office for 8.45, wouldn't change a thing.

One day you're up at 5.30am, hit the ground running, in workplace raring to go (maybe, hopefully) and the next day, you hardly have a reason to get out of bed. Well that was my experience, and I imagine much the same for many who'd worked full-time all their adult lives.
Retirement takes planning, well in advance of the day itself. Money obviously. Time obviously. What am I going to do if this or that happens?
And yes, loss of status. When you meet new people, instead of 'What do you do? That sounds interesting...', it's 'What do you do? Retired? Oh' and the incredulous 'What do you do all day?'

My largest concern at the time [now 11 years ago] was that OH "suggested" how everything should be done around the house. Having coped reasonably well, I think, with juggling career, part-time voluntary work and family, throughout 45 years, really had to bite my tongue when rather frequently out came "why don't you do it this way"? Or "shouldn't you being doing it that way". Grrrrrrrrrrrr. Wouldn't exactly same we came to blows, but not far off!

Retirement...the word looms large when you're looking '60' in the face. (not facially, although the mirror tells the tale)
I retired at 66 although I could have collected my state and private pensions at 60.
After letting out my house and renting a smaller property, I travelled to Italy and did some work over there and on my return, decided that apart from helping/volunteering at Crisis and Sams, I would place an ad in 'The Lady' as a companion to single travellers.
This has proved to be hugely enjoyable and surprisingly lucrative as I have my expenses paid plus an agreed amount as a 'wage' for the trip.
This kind of employment allows me to meet people, both m&f, who have often lived very different and exciting lives, hear their stories, meet their families and, in a few cases, become friends with them.
It's not all cruises or safaris either snd most are 40-70. I don't do care, just company. Checks are expected and carried out.
In between times are spent shopping, visiting my 5 children who all live at some distance, and some proofreading/editing.
Life is what you choose to make of the time and money available to you.
Most of my long standing friends are still married and have to 'consult' their OH before committing to lunch/shopping/tennis/yoga and I hate hanging around waiting for 'the boss' to say yea or nay. I like my freedoms and don't have to be 'getting home otherwise he'll wonder where I am'.
It takes all sorts and I can only admire those GNers who are, selflessly and lovingly, giving up some of their later years to help out their families.
We are all, each in our own way, trying to squeeze the best out of life.
for all.

Gosh GabriellaG how intrepid! Love the companion to travellers idea!

My husband and I are hoping to be retired, or at least 90% retired, at the end of this year. I'm really looking forward to it although I am a little in trepidation of losing "me" time, when I can have the house to myself and do what I want, whether it's housework or do nothing.

gerry that was the major problem my mum faced, drove her crazy, father wanted to do everything with her. Are there any interests that can take your husband out of the house, e.e. allotment, hobbies, voluntary work?

humptydumpty, yes he does play golf and loves horse racing so hopefully he'll have more time for both. Don't get me wrong I am also looking forward to freedom for both of us, going to the theatre in the afternoon, going for walks, doing jobs in the garden and house and longer holidays instead of short quick breaks that are often interrupted by work, but we all need our own space at times as no doubt my husband will.