Eating out but not talking.

This says it all ....

There seems to be a lot of judgement around from why I can make see everyone seems to forget that you see a snapshot into that families life at that moment in time.

My son and daughter use phones/tablets while waiting for food if we are in a restaurant usually on a Sunday because we have spent all day doing family activities.

This generation of grandparents need to remember that it was them who have raised this generation of parents and I for one am sick and tired of being judged as a parent.

It was me and my children who checked an older couple were ok today when the wife with dementia had gone to the toilet and needed to be guided back to their table. Not the grandparent generation who sat and ignored them.

Indeed - some children are actually starting school, and have no idea what their name is as they are just not spoken to at all!

I worry about my little DGD who at almost 1 has barely met another child (although in every other aspect my daughter is a great Mum, although not a great daughter sadly ....) but she has turned out to be very anxious since having baby and just will not go out and mix - I did warn her that having a baby could be socially isolating and to go to classes to meet other new Mums in the same boat - but of course I have no valid opinion whatsoever so was ignored - a 'told you so' moment but I wouldn't say it to her face!!

Why do you feel judged?
The thread is about families who spend their whole mealtime glued to their phones.
Your children use their tech until their food arrives.

I often wonder how children will learn to socialise when parents are constantly on their phones . I was out walking the other day a family of four appeared with a young child in the pushchair was trying to get his parents' attention but they weren't listening to him - on their phones. How rejected must that young child have felt??

My DD and SIL insist on no phones eating at home and All phones in the middle of the table when eating out as a family.

So they all put their fancy iPhones on the table and I put my old fashioned little Nokia on top. It caused laughter around the table so a good start to the evening.

This procedure has not come easily, a lot of arguments early on in the process but accepted by all now.

With two GC on the spectrum, I understand the use of devices to occupy them during the long wait for food in good restaurants, though they have now learnt they may not have them whilst actually eating.
However I spotted this today from a child psychologist Victoria Prooday. She mentions these facts:
1 in 5 children has mental heath Problems
43% increase in ADHD
37% increase in teen depression
Then she offers a ‘diagnosis’ or list of potential causes and a prescription or list of solutions which will not be well received and will undoubtedly bring out all the ‘exceptions to the rule’ children. It does bear thinking about, however unpalatable it is.

On two occasions visiting our favourite restaurant, we were seated next to a table of 8 mixed aged people. They were so loud we couldn't hear each other speak, finished our meal quickly and left. We won't be returning there. I would have loved it if they had all got their phones out and kept quiet. the noise totally spoilt our meal.

Any time spent with my immediate family is considered 'quality' by me. This anti-phone theme seems to be a regular matter for discussion here. Tend to agree with much of what FF is verbalising here. My children assure me that the phones will be disappearing very soon as modern technology is moving on in leaps and bounds. Can't wait to see what will replace them!

I think threads like this have been done to death and are always about putting younger people down. The thing is,when we were younger there was no modern teçhnology or social media or we might have been exactly the same! Each generation is different but it doesn't mean they are wrong. You have no idea how this family interact in private. I sense a wee bit of virtue signalling here.

Actually I have observed the same thing. Sometimes it's not for a little while. I know parents who are always on their mobiles/tablets etc that lasts all day. They don't seem bothered about their kids. While mum is busy on the phone kids are bringing themselves up and it shows by their behaviour. They're never chastised or taught anything by their parents. Almost like the parents don't parent them. Then they stick them in bed at 7 so no time at all for parenting. It's sad

It soundalike extremely bad manners to me! I am proud to say my children still make their children abide by table manners. No toys or books at the table and they say "Thank you for my dinner, Please may I get down?"

Perhaps we are too old-fashioned but I am really proud of them.

I won’t go out for a meal with husband unless some other members of the family are there because we have no conversation and I get too stressed to eat. On the rare occasions we eat together at home I make sure there is something on tv usually the news or pointless, th cover the silence.

Its really sad, no matter what FLEXIBLE says.People glued to their phones, older people alike its so rude to ignore the person you are with, no matter what age, but parents particularly ignoring their small children is NOT acceptable, they should communicate verbally and visually,or what hope have these children of developing social skills,I-Phone, i-Pads certainly wont teach them these skills,sorry Flexible

Ellie Anne that is so sad! My DH would often sit at the dinner table for a couple of hours just talking about our day or whatever subject came up. As I said previously, tweets. texts and Facebook will always be there - one day the person across the table may not be.

When GS1 was about 2 we were having lunch in M&S (as we often did) and I was chatting away to him when a lady came over and said how love!y it was to see me talking to him! It just seemed natural to me.

How I agree with most who have posted here. What is wrong with people that they are so obsessed with their devices? I was having coffee in a well know chain yesterday, waiting for a friend. The table next to me was occupied by a mother, father and young daughter. Mum & dad were scrolling through their phones the whole time and the daughter was on her iPad, attached to headphones. I sat for an hour and watched the whole sorry situation, where none of them spoke to each other for the entire duration. So sad, especially at the weekend, which used to be quality family time.

So sad, especially at the weekend, which used to be quality family time.

when was this magical time when family members were constantly enthralled by each other? Before mobiles my mother was always "ignoring" me whilst she gossiped on the landland or read her magazines LOL. My dad would usually be found reading the newspaper (which I for one now do on my phone) or reading his hobby prescription magazine.

Which was pretty standard really. At my best mates house we were usually banned from the house by her dad when the sport was on, other best friends dad spent his weekends tinkering out back. She and her sister mostly faught over whose turn it was to call friends on the landline

I dont remember these weekend long family conversations!!

Could I introduce an incident just observed? Driving towards a T junction, I observed a small child with a scooter. She was dangerously over the pavement edge, waiting for the traffic but pushing the scooter back and forth into the road. Nobody seemed to be with her. I went past her at snail's pace, and when I turned the corner eventually - after maybe 100 yards - saw her mother (I assume). She was walking slowly, texting on her mobile phone, eyes glued to it, oblivious to the danger her child was in. That child could have been run over, or abducted, and the mother would not have known until it was too late. Clearly, the phone was more important than the child. Not deliberately, I know. But whilst I can see both sides on the phones in restaurant debate, I see no room in what I saw for forgiveness.

Have been in a soft play centre where parents were on phones. Two girls 7 9 ish came running up to the table and were speaking to the adults. Neither one lifted their head. Girls ran off, came back, spoke then ran off again at least another three times. Not once did the adults look up from their phones until they were all leaving. I felt so angry at the adults.

I wasn't aware this topic had been posted before. I do wish I had checked!!!

My Dad used to sit behind his newspaper at the breakfast table as it was pretty much the only time of the day he had time to look at it. I do the same except it is downloaded onto my phone or iPad. I read all my books off them, do my banking, pay the restaurant (in some cases ordering my meal from one) and may even be looking for coupons that I downloaded to take some of the money off the bill. I was really browned off the other day when the waiter made a comment about me being on the phone the other day when I was with my Mum, daughter and grandaughter. I had spent 2 hours in the restaurant and at the very end I got my phone out to give him a coupon before I asked for the bill. As soon as I had done that, I put the phone away. My daughter was getting her phone out to pay the bill (it's first use too) yet he still commented that you young people are always on the phone. I thought it was really rude and judgmental.

Everyone would do just as well to concentrate on their own lives there is an old saying of “he who is without sin can cast the 1st stone”

There are a lot of grandparents who could do with remembering that the only reason they are grandparents is because their child has had a child. It’s nothing to do with parenting abilities.

No parent is perfect I know for sure that i’m not but I recognise that and refuse to pass judgments over other parents when I no nothing of their lives or stresses at that moment in time.

Agree...its tedious going out for coffee/a meal with someone who is muttering judgements about the rest of the room (usually louder than they realise). If you are as engrossed in practicing your conversation skills as you say they should be, how do you have time to take note of how long so and so at the table in the middle has had her phone out?

When we go anywhere(weekend away etc) my 15 yr old son takes all his portable stuff with him- DSXL(a small portable game player)and mobile phone& chromebook laptop.He often wants to take them to the table if we eat out but i only let him play if we're waiting ages for food or afterwards if hes finished first.and then only his phone OR DS player.NOT everything at once.it usually works out ok as a compromise.&often he forgets to take them anyway.