Eating out but not talking.

Again well said Monica

well said Monica

Kids with phones or tablets is a fact of life, my GC don't, when they get together for Birthdays, Christmas etc they are far too busy chatting and playing.

Adults, there is nothing worse than your companions for the evening texting, it means that they are bored and you are second in line to the person on the other end, unless there is a very good reason.

Flexible Friend you just sounded so fatalistic about phone obsession, and feeling it didn't matter and wouldn't change things and couldn't be controlled - and there is evidence that it is affecting children's communication skills. www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/07/05/duty-care-mothers-excessive-use-mobile-phones-driving-behavioural/.

We have all been indoctrinated over recent years not to be judgemental, to understand why people act badly, consider their motives and not expect too much. But I am beginning to come out of that mindset and feel that we should now be more judgemental.

Understanding for those in intolerable circumstances should always be with us, but for the majority like the many parents seen glued to their phones and ignoring their children - and children likewise, we should stop making excuses and say that, once you are a parent, your children are your prime responsibility and if that means you have to adapt your behaviour or put your child's needs first or to nurture them in any way - and talking and communication is nurture - then the parents should do it.

Lemongrove its off topic but yes I agree - we are told that young folk (and I mean generally not all) have less disposable income than ever. As I say its offtopic so not for discussion here. I just didn't want to ignore you.?

I sat with my Dh & Dd in a busy restaurant for two hours this evening and saw no one constantly on their phone. I think I saw three or four people use their phone briefly, one I suspect to pay their bill.

Thus, it seems not to be a problem in my area - or maybe there was no mobile reception due to the granite walls!

At the bus stop a young man got on and sat next to his girlfriend. they said hello and she began to chat about their working day. He was really bad tempered and rude to her and swttched on his phone. The phone came on with a huge photo of the girl who was sitting next to him being ignored. Well perhaps he talked to the photo occasionally.

Of course there are times when phones etc are useful and very helpful as grannygravy and Pecs have pointed out. I love being able to look information up very quickly and show photos.
Below is just one recent article on the subject. And flexible friend I am pretty sure we didn't read books at the table to the extent people use phones etc.

www.verywellfamily.com/negative-effects-of-too-much-cell-phone-use-621152

Now I did say things ain't so different these days, reading a book, looking at a screen just variations on a theme.

Our DC's gt grandmother told us that she was always in trouble for reading a book under the table. Some things don't change much. This will have been about 1900.

My DGCs may use a screen in a restaurant before food arrives. Once it is there they are put away. Gives adults a chance to catch up before engaging kids in the conversation. It works for us!

M0nica maybe you should actually read my posts before referencing them because I never said young people were glued to their phones. You could have referenced untold others who did though.

I’ve often noticed couples sitting in silence so when we go out I have an agenda! I save up interesting things from the previous week to discuss whilst I have his undivided attention..
As for children, I feel that sitting round a table and conversing is such a good way of encouraging, not only social skills but also table manners. These may get them a job in the future. MyDGS has his tablet time but puts it down quite happily to do something more interesting.
Like most things in life balance is the key.

Thank you, Grannygravy. I can see how headphones and iPads could be used to help some children in noisy environments.

Flexible Friend Just to let you know being glued to a phone isn't inevitable for younger people.

My DS and DDiL and their children manage to function in the modern world without being glued to mobile phones, ipads or anything like that . Phones are used, when needed to phone people, text and do all the other things people do with them. But most of the time they sit on the side to be responded to if necessary.

Similarly DGC have no electronic games, or xboxes etc. Eldest has just got a phone now that she has started secondary school and is getting an ipad through the school as it is integrated into how education is delivered. Both children's bedrooms are electronics free.

They suffer no handicaps because they have been allowed to use their parents phones under supervision. Meals in and out are screen free.

They are not the exception. Both of them have a group of friends whose parents have the same attitude to screens that they have, Unsurprisingly, all these children do well at school and are good communicators, because they are in households where members talk to each.

Exactly * Grannygravy*

PECS - sounds like H and I - our memories are useless so often have to "google" to solve a "discussion"!

DH & 1 eat out reglarly..before or after a theatre/ cinema / music gig / catch upnwith friends etc etc or just because we want to. I cook for 4DGC x 2 weekly and regularly for us too.
We are fortunate to be able to eat out as often as we do. Only occasionally see total non communication! We use our mobiles to look up what actors have done etc as we can never remember!???

Lol, MissAdventure! I'm now unexpectedly going out for dinner this evening - I'll report back on my observations.

Please do not judge all C on iPads, our GS is on the autism spectrum, and if the restaurant is noisy or he just gets overwhelmed the iPad and earphones are a lifesaver for him. Prevents a meltdown which is distressing for him and those around.

Sending messages saying "Blimey! This music is ruddy awful!"

With ear phones in! Maybe they're all busy messaging each other because they can't hear what anyone is saying.

They don't hear it.
Too busy on their Ipads and phones!

I think it is geared towards younger people, Annep. Though given that I find it difficult to hear people through the loud music, I can't understand why the young folk with their sharper hearing aren't deafened by it!

Suedonim of course thats a possibility but I thought there was music because young people like it. Its generally geared towards younger people. (But that could be a whole other thread )!)