Gransnet forums

New grandma

(30 Posts)
Feminas Mon 01-Oct-18 17:19:21

I’m a new grandma of a beautiful baby boy. My daughter and son in law both work and I agreed to watch the baby, instead of outside childcare. I’m having unbelievable anxiety, fear about the what if’s. I’m waking up with a knot in my stomach and palpitations. Is anyone else feelinglike this?

Jane10 Mon 01-Oct-18 17:26:01

Congratulations! Also congratulations that you are trusted to provide care for the wee one.
Of course you're anxious but I'm sure you'll manage really well. You did when your own children were little. It'll all come back to you!
Try not to worry but I know that's easier said than done!

DoraMarr Mon 01-Oct-18 18:15:33

It’s normal to feel anxious about looking after your grandchild. In fact, I am more anxious about bumps and bruises than I was with my own children. However, the joy you will have in caring for your grandson will outweigh the anxiety, and the close bond you will develop is worth all the hard work. Perhaps offer to have him for short periods at weekends or before your daughter goes back to work, and you will find everything flooding back.

ChaosIncorporated Mon 01-Oct-18 18:24:38

Congratulations!
I agree with others that it is an absolutely normal reaction. I was a nervous wreck that something might happen on 'my watch'.
It does get better grin

PamelaJ1 Mon 01-Oct-18 18:28:17

Please don’t worry, you did a good job with your own child/children you will do an even better one with DGS.
You will have time and patience, invaluable attributes. just enjoy.
Top tip-I bought a sort of seat that went round my waist and provided a little ledge to sit GS on. Took a lot of pressure off my hips.

Nanabilly Mon 01-Oct-18 18:41:44

I had our first gs from him being 9 months old and I was in my elements but yes I was anxious before I started having him... Thoughts racing through my head were .. What if he cries a lot .... What if I drop him ... What if ..what if . All completely irrational of course and everything turned out well and happy . I was absolutely shattered though but completely happy . He is 6 now and We still have him a lot and we look forward to school holidays so we can get some long days and sleepovers in .

SusanBetts Mon 01-Oct-18 19:41:33

First of all, congratulations on your grandson! Do not worry too much as it's normal to feel anxious as newborns are very sensitive and we always think that everything should be perfect.

Luckygirl Mon 01-Oct-18 20:38:45

You'll love it. I did the same for two of my local GC from 9 months and they are now 3 and 5 - I have a very special relationship with them both and bring such joy.

A new baby - you lucky thing!!!

Beau Mon 01-Oct-18 21:08:52

Congratulations Feminas - don't worry, I had my DGS for 12 hours per day 5 days per week since he was 4 months old and often babysat at weekends too. Yes, you will probably be shattered but you will be so close to him, it will be worth it. I wasn't very anxious tbh, it all just came back to me but with DGS compared to DD I have more time, more patience and even a bit more money so everything's different and more enjoyable 😉

Willow500 Mon 01-Oct-18 22:03:40

Congratulations - I remember that feeling very well but as has been said all the old mothering skills soon come back and you will be fine. Enjoy your grandson - they grow so (too) quickly!

Daisymay1 Tue 02-Oct-18 21:37:50

Enjoy every minute . I’m a grandma too 5year old twin boys and looked after them Part time when my daughter returned to work . I have an amazing bond with them and miss them now they are at school , still colect them some days 😍

crazyH Wed 03-Oct-18 21:35:17

Congratulations....Enjoy ..... I (along with the other grandparents) practically brought up my daughter's children, who are teenagers now. I thoroughly enjoyed having them.....still do, when daughter is away with work.
I remember, leaving my grandson (about 18 months then) on the bed , and ran for a wee.....heard a thud, he had rolled off the bed....fortunately, carpet was thick, wooden floor, not concrete......but, I was petrified that he would have brain damage. Ofcourse, after a short cry, he was fine. Even now, when they come to stay, I check on them before I turn in for the night....

Deedaa Wed 03-Oct-18 22:37:27

Be prepared to find lots of things have changed since you had your own babies. You'll soon get the hang of it all!

inishowen Thu 04-Oct-18 10:18:01

My advice is to fit a stair gate when he is mobile. I didn't do this when I looked after my granddaughter and was so anxious keeping her away from the stairs.

EthelJ Thu 04-Oct-18 10:38:57

Congratulations! I think your feelings are very normal. I felt just the same when I looked after my first grandchild. The responsibility of looking after grandchild somehow seems greater than looking after our own children because they are so precious to our children.
I don't believe the old saying that having grandchildren is wonderful because you have all the enjoyment but none of the worry because I worry more about my grandchildren than my children!
BUT grandchildren are wonderful. Your child obviously trusts you to look after their child. You brought up your own child and you love your grandchild so you will be a perfect care giver for him.
The worry will subside once you start looking after him and your confidence grows. I am sure it will all go very well. X

JoJo58 Thu 04-Oct-18 10:39:37

Congratulations Femina on becoming a grandma, I did exactly the same and have looked after my DD's three children even to the point of them staying with us during the week so full on, but you will love it and be even more confident with baby second time around, Don't worry have fun and enjoy every moment they grow up so fast, had mine from 3 months old now 14,11 and 8yrs, still enjoy it even though just down to looking after one now.

Starlyte Thu 04-Oct-18 10:45:02

For once it's one thing easier done than said, as opposed to the inverse habitual. Once you get into the swing it all comes back, like riding a bike!
The anticipation is worrying, but once you get to bottles of baby milk and dirty nappies, then the cuddles and seeing your grandson growing up, you won't have time or desire for worries. You'll be so busy and full of love you lucky lady smile
Once you get started enjoy it and make the most of it. Your children were OK and remember how they grow up fast, too fast?
I wish I could be with my DGCs as they live in the UK and I am in the S of France, over 1000kms, with my partner too ill to leave, and the house in "restoration" not suitable for little ones. I've not yet met my youngest DGD!
Profit, please, it'll be OK when it happens.

wildswan16 Thu 04-Oct-18 10:47:37

Congratulations. The first week you will feel terrible, panicky, never take your eyes of the baby. The second week you will calm down a little and manage to read a book. The third week you will enjoy every minute, probably be a little exhausted. The fourth week - you will wonder what you were worried about.

Buffybee Thu 04-Oct-18 10:49:37

I found the little Play groups (usually in Church halls) a God send, breaking the day up and found one for every morning, usually 9.30 till 11.30. Even travelling to other villages close by for them.
I took my Dgc from about three months, just sat on my knee watching it all going on, then gradually when they're sitting ok, put them down with a few toys. And after a few months they're charging around with all the rest.
You get to chat with other Grans and Mums as well which is nice.
Then lunch and a nap and so only a few hours till Mum returns.

ajanela Thu 04-Oct-18 10:53:37

I would suggest you ask them if you can have your grandson for short periods during the Parents maternity leave so you can re learn your skills gradually and get to know his ways.

I am sure they will welcome a couple of hours off when they can go shopping, attend appointments, get some sleep etc. This way you will gradually built up your confidence, learn how the parents want him cared for and get use to the equipment and adjust your house to his needs. We do not know how long it is since you cared for a baby but it is a good idea to read some articles on todays baby care. (If you had to retake your driving test you would reread the high way code!)

kircubbin2000 Thu 04-Oct-18 11:52:53

I still feel like this and he's 9!

onaclearday Thu 04-Oct-18 12:05:22

Congratulations,you have so much to look forward to. I look after my GREAT grandson a couple of days a week and thoroughly enjoy it. I have done this from him being tiny and he is now a toddler. It is great enjoying the cuddles and getting to sing all the songs handed down. Just make the most of it,they grow so quickly

luluaugust Thu 04-Oct-18 14:22:12

They certainly do, I was just like you worried about it all but had GS from 3 months, first two days a week then later one, followed by 2 DGDs from a year old. It takes a little while to get going again but I am sure you will soon be back in the swing and having fun.

hereshoping Thu 04-Oct-18 15:29:02

Congratulations, it will all settle down and you'll be great.
I looked after my grandson from 9 months for 4 months until a place was available at nursery for him. My mum took to babies like a duck to water but I was never a natural. He didn't know me as I normally live so far away, but we struggled through, very tiring at first, but we got into a routine. The smile he gave me every morning, I'll treasure for ever.

Happysexagenarian Thu 04-Oct-18 16:01:56

Warmest Congratulations! Try not to worry too much, after the first couple of days with your new grandson all those early parenting skills will come flooding back to you and you will relax, and so will baby. Enjoy these early days.