Loneliness in the news again

I’m definitely, sadly, getting the impression that nothing will help some people.
I’ve only ever been lonely when I have moved to a new place but I’ve nearly always had family there too and that makes it easier to go out and find new friends. I’ve moved such a lot that my friend making skills are reasonably well developed. It must be so hard if you’ve never had to learn those skills because you’ve always known the people that you know (does this make sense?). Then somehow you are on your own.
Its not easy to put yourself out there, but if you can then it’s worth a try.
I can only imagine how it must feel to lose a much loved husband or wife, a very deep loneliness, but it will happen to either myself or my DH one day. Statistics say it will be me. I hope I have the resources to cope.

Annie this is where there should be help to ensure that those in this position are helped to get out to do what they want to do, whether this is a day centre, class, social group or visit friend. What is essential is that it is what the person themselves wants to do, not inflicted upon them.

One of my clients as a charity worker was an elderly man living alone and lonely. All social services offered him was a place at a day centre. He went once, liked the lunch but he was the only man there and the people running it were very autocratic and had a fixed program that everyone had to follow. He said he would rather stay at home alone and never went back.

MOnica, I have asked for help, been promised help but didn’t get further than the promise. I have accepted it now, every time the promises fade I have been worrying what I did wrong, truth is nothing, I did everything they asked of me, bought the scooter, that was early August, they keep forgetting to turn up for the appointment , my self esteem is now rock bottom and still drilling. Do I have decided this is how it is , accept it. Thank you

Great post, SunnySusie. That has often been my experience when joining new groups who declare that they are very friendly but ignore newcomers. I have mainly had good experiences with U3A though. As you say, you just have to keep plugging away but it's very difficult especially when you're feeling a bit depressed anyway.

Chicken mentioned befriended.
I don’t think that the government can take on the responsibility for our social life so if we want it to improve I believe it has to come from the community.
Anyone else out there have any experience of initiatives that work?
We have heard from one or two posters who says their effort are failing.
As I said earlier I’ve offered lifts to events and have never been taken up on my offer. I’m too busy to go knocking on doors.

You don’t have to be elderly or on your own to feel lonely. I remember when I was married to my first husband, who had MS. Without sounding heartless, he thought the world revolved around him because he was ill and he treated me and my daughters pretty bad at times. I remember going to a Xmas party with a group we belonged to and I felt so, so lonely, watching folk having a good time and dancing, while I sat in silence with my husband. I did get invited up to dance, but there was overwhelming feeling of loneliness that night. I think it was because I felt trapped in a loveless marriage, so loneliness doesn’t always mean you are alone!

MagicWriter... that's really sad. What a horrible life you must have had. I hope things are better for you now