We are a huge blended family when we meet up in a restaurant with many grandchildren, one who is autistic, non verbal but makes a noise. Don't get me wrong, I adore them all but sometimes I am astonished at how some of the children are allowed to get down from the table and leap about. Unfortunately, the worst offender is allowed to do as she pleases and when I say, "no running" I get the evil eye from DIL who doesn't really do boundaries.
Recently we tried to make arrangements where our children were the only ones invited to my DH's Birthday Supper because he hates the indiscipline but it caused such upset from some of the in-laws, it really wasn't worth it. Now we just frequent the chain pubs where all the clientele seem somewhat loud when we are altogether. We frequent the more sedate places when we are alone or with well-behaved children.