Cinderella

More snowflake behaviour, I’m afraid.

Having said that, I would not allow my grandchildren to do anything that was expressly forbidden by their parents.

Thankfully my adult children have never expressed such ridiculous views.

It came to me after I had added my post how lucky we are that worrying about whether or not Cinderella et al is suitable viewing for today’s children, is indeed a privilege. No doubt, parents in Yemen, Syria, Africa, and other places have more pertinent worries, such as will we be bombed today, will my child have enough to eat today, will my child have clean water to drink today, will I be able to get to a doctor with my sick child today?

How lucky parents are that they have the luxury to worry about whether or not their child will watch Cinderella!

Think children know what is and isn’t real, none of mine expected to see talking animals or fairy godmother’s appearing from nowhere, think often people will overthink things that the children don’t even notice

Don't forget that the Grimm version of the Cinderella story included the ugly sisters chopping off bits of their feet to try to fit into the glass slipper and the blood everywhere rather gave the game away. Grimm in every way. As a child I remember wondering how anyone could actually walk in a glass slipper. And pumpkin coaches! Not a lot of those around. We underestimate children's ability to recognise the difference between fantasy and reality.

I don't have a problem with Fairy Tales but I do wonder at the automatic cry about everything being unPC. When it is violence, we worry about the drip, drip effect even though those watching usually know that it is just fiction. However, when people worry about the drip, drip effect of the helpless female who needs rescuing, they are just being overly politically correct.

Apricity, I had forgotten that, about them chopping bits off their feet to try to fit into the glass slipper.
Blood and pumpkins - it sounds more like Hallowe'en than a happy ever after story!

Way back in the late 70s / early 80s my DDs had access to all trad. tales and fairy tales. They also had " alternative" versions and a very varied diet of imaginative stories. Their family life was of both m & f doing paid work and doing domestic chores at home. I do not pariculatly like the Disney interpretation of trad tales. but as long as they are not viewed without discussion & challenge no major harm done!

On reflection having read some of the latest posts there’s one last point I’d like to make. It goes without saying people are entitled to raise daughters according to their own beliefs. Having said this, I see no reason for those who are vehemently against the possibility of their daughters meeting a successful man,who happens to be wealthy,possibly through inheritance, they should describe those girls as less relevant in society to those who wish to ‘do it for themselves’ Why should a girl be made to feel less valuable in society if they have dreams of marrying early,creating a home and making a successful family life.Is this what we are teaching girls nowadays. You have to fight to be an independent high flyer or else you’ll be deemed as worthless. I think there will always be a place in society for both types,including those who love the idea of meeting their prince. The most important thing in life is finding a path which makes you happy and not being judged for being different & accepting people for who they are. I managed to have a career & raise a happy family but I’d never judge a girl who decided to choose a different path.

In my late teens I vowed to marry a rich man. Why? Because we were poor and it made us miserable. My mother struggled with poverty and was mean and violent to us as a result. We did read fairy stories but it was poverty rather than that that helped me make my decision. Sadly I never met a rich man. I guess I moved in the wrong circles.
I made my own career and was moderately successful and when I married it was for what I thought was love. My life after that again was miserable and I had huge financial problems. My husband did not care and just kept spending. Before I finally threw him out I was penny pinching for years. I was AGAIN desperately unhappy. I often wonder how life would have turned out if f I had met Mr Rich then.

Grandma2213, sadly meeting Mr rich will makes no difference to happiness unless it includes mutual love & respect. I was brought up with not a lot to spare. I married for love to a man who had very little then went on to be very successful. I had career & my husbands earnings enabled me to work part time when the children arrived. I never felt less of a person because my husband was the main breadwinner. I valued my role in the relationship and felt empowered being the person in charge of our home. I hope life is treating you well now Grandma2213. You sound like a trouper.

maddyone please can you explain what you mean by snowflake in this context? I have heard the term used & seen it in media headlines but am not sure I fully appreciate its meaning.

Whilst I totally agree that, for far too many families in the world, daily survival is all many can focus on. But does that mean that families in better situations should then live in sack cloth and ashes & not try to do what they feel is right for their kids. It does not exclude those people from also having a social conscsience and doing positive things for those in truly tragic situations. It does not have to be either or!

Pecs, broadly speaking the generation of young people today are often described as ‘the snowflake generation’ because they are deemed to be less resilient than previous generations,take offence more easily & think everything should be handed to them on a plate. This is thought to have occurred due to their parents indulging their every whim as children,making them feel so entitled as young adults,they never expect to struggle. In other words just like a snowflake they melt easily. This is undoubtedly true in a lot of young people today but certainly not them all.

Oh an interesting interpretation of the use of the word. Pehaps they are not " taking offence" but challenging the status quo & being more politically vocal than the previous generation.? The many young adults I know are very concerned for their future, work hard..either at study or paid employment etc. but do get angry at the lack of housing, the lack of job security and the growing inequality gap between v rich and v poor. Hopefully as snowflakes they will stick together and create an avalanche to change the landscape for a better future.

I think the Disney film 'Frozen' could have that interpretation put on it.
I will go and ponder that thought as I do some mundane chores.

And yet the trendy females who tell daughters not to care about looks and espouse gender-neutral toys are nonetheless not averse to a bit of make up, good haircut and nice clothes themselves!

Jalima

starbox. ....and worry about their weight and what they eat and go to the gym.

The good thing is that allegedly no snowflake is identical to another.

So identical twins can never be snowflakes.

icanhandthemback said: "I don't have a problem with Fairy Tales but I do wonder at the automatic cry about everything being unPC. When it is violence, we worry about the drip, drip effect even though those watching usually know that it is just fiction. However, when people worry about the drip, drip effect of the helpless female who needs rescuing, they are just being overly politically correct."

That is a very interesting point, we do tend to get het up about violence on our screens influencing our young people, and dismissive of the effect of portraying women as helpless maidens.
Either what we see on screen has an influence, or it doesn't.

Ilovecheese, I respect your views but I think the particular point here doesn’t relate to parents who are happy to read fairy tales to their pre-school children,of which surveys prove the vast majority of teachers approve. I don’t think any parent in their right mind would expose young children in this age bracket to violence on television,so I really don’t get the analogy here. I loved fairy tales and where there were females who were swept away by a handsome prince it didn’t affect my ability to be a successful adult in my own right. I was aware it was colourful fantasy which also made me think. I feel it’s patronising to girls to say if they read stuff like this it’ll make them seek to be ‘rescued’ by a man. I don’t know where this expression originated but in my opinion it’s not only patronising, it’s disrespectful to both girls & boys. This again is just my opinion.

Love it!

I do think children need a varied diet of good stories, including traditional tales & fairy stories. As long as they are well written they extend children's vocabulary, ideas and understanding of aspects of life. Banning children from reading stories is not the way I would go..better to read it and talk about it.

springleaves To be honest I would rather be rich and unhappy than poor and unhappy. Plus when we divorced a rich husband would have given me cash rather than me having to cash in everything to give a lazy ex on benefits more than he deserved! I'm not bitter but I have learned that I can stand on my own two feet. Maybe I'm more of an Elsa than a Cinderella. DGDs love 'Frozen'. One wants to be an astrophysicist and astronaut aged 9, one an architect aged 6, one a research scientist aged 11, and one who is leaving her options open aged 8.

By the way I have 'rescued' my DSs on more than one occasion and of course they are men!!

Grandma2213, you sound as if you have an amazing family. It’s wonderful to read you have on occasion helped your sons. That’s what family life is all about, helping each other when help is required. In day to day life whether that’s women supporting men,men supporting women, women supporting women,or men supporting men, does it really matter who is in the position of strength at any given moment. Asking for and accepting help if and when it’s required is what’s important, along with being humble enough to recognise when help is needed most.