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Cinderella

(89 Posts)
springleaves Sat 27-Oct-18 16:15:10

I collected my grandson from nursery a few days ago and he blurted out ‘ Lisa said her mum won’t let her watch Cinderella. I asked him why & he replied ‘it will give her the wrong message’ Needless to say I’m sure he didn’t understand the reasoning behind it. I decided not to say anything until I spoke to my DIL hoping she wouldn’t agree with this attitude. Her reply was ‘the next time DS has a birthday party I’ll make sure Lisa is invited & she can watch it here’ ?

springleaves Mon 29-Oct-18 13:08:16

Oldgaijin, everyone needs a sense of humour & this made me laugh. I respect there’s been a few here who have added ‘non of your business’ The fact is it’s everyones business to make sure traditional fairy tales remain with us & are published for those parents & children who see the benefits, especially the rhyming versions. There’s nobody more supportive of girls having the same opportunities etc as boys in life than me but to say fairy tales are a bad influence on girls is ridiculous. It’s our responsibility to ensure children are given a broad spectrum of reading material, not just the stuff we so happen to believe in. They will be what they want to be,despite what we want them to be.

Jane10 Mon 29-Oct-18 12:58:55

starbox re my acquaintance: she absolutely does not want to offer anything herself to this potential white knight. Companionship etc is not on her radar. It's hard to convey the lack of emotion around her blatant search for just money really. It's very odd. You'll note I've used the term acquaintance throughout.

icanhandthemback Mon 29-Oct-18 12:53:56

mabon1, certainly succinct. grin

oldgaijin Mon 29-Oct-18 12:38:52

What have we done to create this "snowflake" generation? It's a fairy story, just a fairy story. Unfortunately, my prince turned out to be a toad, not even a frog!

mabon1 Mon 29-Oct-18 12:18:16

Non of your business

acanthus Mon 29-Oct-18 12:16:16

I think we often underestimate the common-sense of children. Last week I was helping my four and a half year old granddaughter to sew a felt toy. She told me to be careful about pricking my finger - I said that if I did I might fall asleep for a hundred years, only to be told by her "That's only an old fairy story Grandma - it's not real..."

Bijou Mon 29-Oct-18 12:05:32

When I was a child I read the original Grimm tales some of which were quite gruesome but it did me no harm. Difference between fiction and real life.

sarahellenwhitney Mon 29-Oct-18 12:03:22

K N should stick to acting. As children grow older and life becomes more and more interesting I hardly think fairy tales will be uppermost in their mind.

icanhandthemback Mon 29-Oct-18 11:45:46

It does make me laugh that the same generation who abhor Fairy Tales just love the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy and many impressionable young people have read the books, etc. Talk about a tale of misogyny and emotional abuse but hey ho.

grannysyb Mon 29-Oct-18 11:15:10

I remember when the teletubbies first came out there was uproar ! I never understood why, children weren't watching it 24/7 , it's the same with Cinderella, balance their viewing with other stuff. I don't think many of us took fairy stories literally.

knspol Mon 29-Oct-18 11:07:33

Just forget it, none of your business. You don't even know what was really said - a case of he said she said by children.
Totally agree that you should not undermine a parents decision.

Sparklefizz Mon 29-Oct-18 11:07:28

I thought it was Sleeping Beauty that was causing complaints because the prince kisses her while she's unconscious and couldn't "give consent".

starbox Mon 29-Oct-18 11:04:05

Well, if youi think she'd enjoy movie (and unless you've had specific instructions to contrary) I should let her see it at yours. My elderly mother is friendly with a couple of teens from a hugely religious home and they get to watch 'unsuitable' costume dramas etc with her. None of us get to 100% control our child, like a possession. As soon as they go to school, they'll imbibe other ideas, beliefs...and have to make their own choices.

I don't think (re other comment) that an elderly woman seeking a partner for money is so bad. Of course, she's got to put up with him, so has to be fairly ok. But we have to be realistic; marrying a lovely pauper for his looks and charm may not be very helpful in the long term. You want a life, days out, turn the heating on without fear. And friendship. And I think she may gain all that- better than being alone and poverty stricken!

springleaves Mon 29-Oct-18 09:06:20

Gillybob, your DGDs sound amazing. I was a typical Merida as a child & later on at age 14 I even played football with a local 5 a side girls team before it was fashionable for girls. I also loved my dolls & prams & ribbons & bows & dreamt of being a ballerina,or a ballroom dancer with one of those huge sticky out dresses ?

gillybob Sun 28-Oct-18 22:02:29

My 2 older DGD’s (12 and 10) love Merida the heroine from the film Brave .

She’s feisty, a bit wild and rides like the wind. Just like they do. smile

springleaves Sun 28-Oct-18 18:51:52

jalima, thanks for the link. I don’t think I’m being old fashioned when I say fairy tales are nothing more than fantasy tales ,which if anything encourage young children to use their imagination. After discussion around the story they can make there own minds up and even question the morals in the stories,which can only be healthy. Incidentally this is from a forward thinking first time gran who believes in equality of the sexes but also recognises the differences between boys & girls which a lot of PC thinking appears to want to merge into something which can only result in total confusion for the poor children at the crux of it. Anyway I’ll finish on this topic now as my intentions are not to offend but to share my own thoughts on some of the latest trends.

Jalima1108 Sun 28-Oct-18 15:10:51

Well, Jane10 I did suggest it to one of my DD ("and preferably very old, dear"). The look she gave me could have frozen Hell.
I still don't think she believes I was joking.

springleaves Sun 28-Oct-18 15:04:43

Oh Dear Jane10 that’s just wrong on all accounts :-( The lady is not doing herself any favours if wealth is her only motive when looking for a potential soulmate. Love solves more problems than money although admittedly it can make life a bit easier in some respects.

Jalima1108 Sun 28-Oct-18 14:59:23

springleaves
did you see this thread?
www.gransnet.com/forums/aibu/1253551-Sleeping-Beauty

As someone upthread said, there is a lot of 'over-thinking' going on these days.
Fiction is just that - fiction and even tiny children can tell the difference.
Even 3 year old DGD realises that no-one in RL mends a sprained ankle with a cobweb (Little Grey Rabbit)!

Jane10 Sun 28-Oct-18 14:20:25

springleaves- my acquaintance is not looking looking for love or someone to share her life with. She wants someone with money to solve her various problems. It was quite chilling really yet also quite childlike.

springleaves Sun 28-Oct-18 09:17:17

Jane 10. I can see no problem with your friend in her 60s looking for love and if it’s with someone who has worked hard all his life to earn his income then all the better. I believe in male & female equality in the work place but where love and companionship is concerned, does it really matter who in the partnership has accumulated the most money & possessions. I don’t think those are the attributes which makes someone more powerful in a relationship. On reflection,for your friend to actually admit it would be nice to find a man on his own,willing to share his life with her & possibly his wealth, then I can’t see anything wrong with her feelings on this. By all means teach females to ‘do it for themselves’ but the idea that it’s wrong to help each other financially or otherwise is sad in my opinion.

ginny Sun 28-Oct-18 08:47:50

Oh why can’t they let children just be children.
I and my 3 DDs were perfectly aware that fairy stories were just that but a little bit of magic, and imagination is all part of growing up.
Just off now to check that the fairies at the bottom of my garden stayed dry and warm in their house last night.

Jane10 Sun 28-Oct-18 08:42:39

I was appalled recently to find that an acquaintance in her 60s was seriously looking for a wealthy man to come along and solve all her many problems. The rest of us could hardly believe what she was saying. However, she's completely in earnest and oblivious to the extreme unlikely ness of her 'solution'. I blame Cinderella!

springleaves Sun 28-Oct-18 08:29:30

In reply to those who have quite rightly mentioned it’s not up to my DIL to allow the girl in question to watch Cinderella at her house against the parents wishes. I should have made myself clearer. There’s no way she would actually do this. It was said in a tongue in cheek irritated type of way due to being tired of everything being so pc nowadays people are afraid to open their mouths. As far as Disney princesses go, I don’t think they will be going anywhere soon. Why is it so wrong these days to be called pretty & feminine. Most of the females in my family are naturally very feminine & dare I say it,very pretty.They are also professionals. A fairy tale is exactly that. I suppose I’m just saying it annoys me to think people can actually take them literally and not see the fantasy which encourages kids to use their imaginations and make their own minds up about any ‘perceived’ messages.

M0nica Sat 27-Oct-18 22:40:06

No discussion should be necessary if equality is embedded in the family culture.