How private should a pm be?

I have outed them, kitty. I think there are only two members who have really annoyed me with their PMs but it was my post that was deleted as a result of them reporting me to HQ.

I hate hypocrisy and wouldn't hesitate to do it again.

Maybe copy and paste the message, but without the persons name.
I keep checking my inbox now, in case I've got one.
I think if someone feels strongly enough to send a pm, then they won't mind others knowing their thoughts, albeit anonymously.

That's my point merlot. So they should be outed - they are just bullies.

Perhaps block them. There is so much trust in PM’s, don’t let someone unkind take away this trust

I haven't worked it out gilly. But, if you weren't a strong woman, or you were new to gn, it could be very disturbing. Naming them might stop them doing it to someone else.

The best thing do is delete the darned thing and block the sender. If you 'out' the sender and they take umbrage (they always do) HQ gets arsey and it's your post that gets deleted with a patronising message about private meaning private (or words to that effect)

I rarely get PMs thank goodness and I hardly ever send them unless it's to give somebody some information that would be too personal on an open website.

There are definitely some PM happy posters on Gransnet and I know of one member who was deeply hurt as a result of being on the receiving end and has now left.

Haven't been on the receiving end of such nastiness but I'm afraid I 'd have no problems in naming and shaming the sender!

I assume you are talking about the PM I received following my use of the word “bloody” kitty which was 3 months ago. I was accused of being ill bred, thinking only of myself, insensitive, thoughtless and with no regard for other people’s sensitivities etc.

Now considering all I said was “bloody” (in a joking way I might add as it was on the jigsaw thread) crikey knows what I might’ve got if I’d used a really bad word !

I assumed everyone had pretty much worked out the sender by now. She pops in now and again and should perhaps follow her own advice as I have yet to see one kind word she has ever written, but having said that I don’t think it’s fair to name her on an open forum.

Reply and block.

I was specifically talking about other gn members sending aggressive pms.

I once had a PM ostensibly to me but given the content, I am convinced it was about me ??
I wondered then, and sometimes still wonder who it was meant to be sent to.
P S it was not enormously flattering!

Stand up to bullies-------and they twist it so that YOU become the bully for standing up to them !!??
I've had all this in the past and to say it leaves a bad taste in your mouth is an understatement.
The best thing to do is to delete such pm's ,they'll soon get tired of it.
The worst offenders are women ! Why ? I don't know. All I can come up with is that they must have some bad issues in their miserable lives to want to do such a thing.

So you've had them too, sodapop?

They don't bother me but they could really upset some people!

I would think once the message has been sent it belongs to the recipient but I'm not sure.
Just ignoring them would be the best thing to do otherwise you are fuelling the fire. Of course I don't take my own advice as I can't resist firing off a response.