Hello ttgran, I’m so sorry to hear what an awful time you’re having. I’m at present going through something similar. I have 5 adult children and we’re close bar one! A daughter who fights with her siblings, dreadful verbal abuse including abuse to me. To cut a long story short all of us have backed away from her now as it was to much. You simply can’t take sides with your children I would stay silent and don’t get involved! I would make no reference to your daughter about her disagreement with her sibling, therefore giving her no ammunition/come backs. I would most definitely tell your daughter about the lump you have found. Make it straight to the point, with care and tact but no emotional input. Like me, you once had a good close relationship with your daughter and these feelings don’t disappear over night. I suspect she will return in time and I would suspect she needs you more than you need her! But she needs to know that this will most certainly not happen again, that she cannot hold you to an emotional ransome again! Be strong! If you go running to her, then you’re showing her that what she has done has been successful! Fortunately I can see my grandchildren whenever I wish, but not see her, sad as that is, it’s fine, though I sense little chinks in her armour are showing, but, she will know, no more verbal abuse or emotional abuse will be tolerated by me. Don’t cry ttgran, tell her of your lump, and make it short.
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