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How old are you when you are old enough to....

(63 Posts)
K9KTK Thu 10-Jan-19 16:21:58

I live in a very friendly village with an active village committee which organizes annual events. Every year they have a couple of events for "pensioners" to which I get invited. This year I have been invited to an afternoon tea at a very posh restaurant. There ain't no way I'm going although I have been said "pensioner" for over 11 years now. The day I go to something for "pensioners" is the day I give up because that will the day I am "old" and I ain't there yet. I'm wondering how others respond to these very well-meaning invitations.

Day6 Thu 10-Jan-19 18:05:23

I have just remembered something that made us laugh.

We went on a coach holiday to the Scottish Highlands a few years ago. At the start of the trip our driver introduced himself. He made us laugh by looking at the couples (mostly middle aged/pensioners ) occupying the seats, then rolled his eyes (in jest) "This is what they mean when they talk about Fifty Shades of Grey"

SueDonim Thu 10-Jan-19 20:18:26

I'd go! It's cutting off your nose to spite your face to turn down the chance of a nice afternoon over some clumsy wording.

BBbevan Thu 10-Jan-19 20:41:40

I am very much a pensioner being 74. I have always refused to play bingo or any form of bowls. Growing up I thought these pastimes were only for old people. And I have not changed my mind.

M0nica Thu 10-Jan-19 20:46:14

I am 75 and to pretend I am not elderly or old is silly.

I have noticed in the past year that whenever I go on a train with all the seats full, someone will always offer me a seat. This had never happened in the past, so I think I can now truly say I am old.

FarNorth Thu 10-Jan-19 21:00:01

As a child, I told my granny that she could get her ticket to my dancing display at a reduced price as she was an OAP.
She indignantly told me that she was nothing of the sort!

I didn't dream of asking for further info and I presume, now, that she lived on dividends from shares.

mcem Thu 10-Jan-19 21:20:20

Nope. Don't feel I need activities aimed at 'the elderly'. Bingo? Singalongs?
I do however use my bus pass and enjoy cheaper gym membership!

Pittcity Thu 10-Jan-19 21:36:35

I'm happy to go to the "Silver Screen" at the local cinema and use other local groups for the over 50s. I have friends of all ages and only give things I wouldn't enjoy a miss.

lemongrove Thu 10-Jan-19 21:41:45

I am a pensioner, but don’t want or need to go along to meetings or outings aimed specifically at older people.
I do join groups, but not because we are all older people, but because the group are doing things and discussing things I am interested in ( history club, book group, WI) which although mainly older people, do have middle aged and even young members too.
So, am with the OP on this, who doesn’t need or want to be taken out to tea with a load of old folk.grin

sodapop Thu 10-Jan-19 21:51:35

I think its fortunate we can pick and choose which activities we participate in. Sometimes I go bowling with a younger group of friends, some days I work as a volunteer in the library and then I go out for a meal which has been organised for older people, Fairly rounded life I would think.

Cabbie21 Thu 10-Jan-19 22:08:50

Some people do not have the chance to go out and about without a great deal of support, especially if they care for a family member, so I would not wish to begrudge them the opportunity to join in with whatever is being offered,

Blencathra Thu 10-Jan-19 22:24:29

I am quite happy to have pensioner rates for things but there is no way I would go to an event for pensioners - unless I was helping.

sodapop Fri 11-Jan-19 08:54:13

Strange logic Blencathra

Rufus2 Fri 11-Jan-19 09:25:49

wouldnt require a perm to make your hair curl!!! smile
Travelsafar; Spot on! smile Like reading some GN posts written by the "young at heart". I still have a lovely head of fair hair, some rotten people say it's grey, but it's also quite curly by bedtime after catching up with my mail! wink
I've had my OAP 30 years, my OBE 10 yrs and very proud to wear them wherever I'm invited. Our local Council describes our activities as "positive ageing", "social inclusion" and IMO non-participants are basically anti-social. Nothing wrong with that as long as they keep quiet about it. grin

yggdrasil Fri 11-Jan-19 09:58:03

I am part of the U3A here. We are often having discussions as to what stops people joining us, whether it the the idea it is for pensioners, or that it is very academic.
Neither is correct. You can join the U3A as long as you are retired or semi-retired. We would really like the younger ones to come and put their energy into helping keeping us going. And we have a wide variety of Groups, just see our website
Some of those U3As in university towns have more possibility of having more academic subjects, but anyone can start a Group on anything if they want to.

Bathsheba Fri 11-Jan-19 10:25:46

For me it would depend on who was going. I mean, if I just turned up and there was a bunch of old people I didn't know, all just going for the free afternoon tea, then I wouldn't want to be there. If, on the other hand, I went along with a group of friends, or at least people I knew well, that would be altogether different.
I don't in the least mind acknowledging I'm a pensioner. I'm in my late 60's, I draw my pension, I have grey hair and wrinkles. There is no way I could fool anyone into believing I don't belong in that category, and can't think of any reason why I should want to smile

Rufus2 Fri 11-Jan-19 10:39:15

taken out to tea with a load of old folk.grin
Lemongrove: You could have couched that a bit better! confused Is your grin a friendly one or an evil one?
I would have expected a show of empathy for us matured members of society, as we sway to the beat of our communal sing-alongs! Friendly grin! Live and let Live, as they say.

goldengirl Fri 11-Jan-19 11:28:45

K9KTK; I agree. Whilst the idea of a free afternoon tea in a posh place sounds attractive I wouldn't want to be considered an 'oldie' so I would decline. I'd probably be cutting of my nose to spite my face but I'm lucky that people think I'm younger than I am and I mix with a lot of young people which I do enjoy and appreciate.

yggdrasil: I joined U3A some while ago but every single session I wanted to take part in was full so I gave up. I was very disappointed

stella1949 Fri 11-Jan-19 13:19:26

Why not use the term "Seniors" - it still means much the same but sounds much more respectful.

Baggs Fri 11-Jan-19 13:25:16

Old folk vary as much as young folk. Old folk are as interesting as young folk. Why do people, who evidently are on the old side of life, object to being old or being called old. Old is just a word. It means not young and past middle age. What's not to like? I think objecting as much as some people on here do is ageist.

Grammaretto Fri 11-Jan-19 14:38:54

When my DM retired she signed up to U3A and started several activities when she wanted to do something not already covered.
Although I am well past the age for joining I don't feel quite ready to join my mum's club!
I have been to a couple of gransnet outings so maybe getting there.
I still work part time but enjoy my bus pass
I think like you OP I would avoid the posh tea unless you want to meet new people.

KatyK Fri 11-Jan-19 16:57:40

I used to go to bingo with my DD when I was in my 30s. She still goes (she's in her 40s). Lots of young people go. The first time we went I won £300.

watermeadow Fri 11-Jan-19 17:58:46

“Pensioners” sounds very outdated, I haven’t heard the term for many years. I dislike all the euphemisms for “Old”, which is how I would describe myself.

Atqui Fri 11-Jan-19 18:58:02

Is it free? What’s not to like?

Atqui Fri 11-Jan-19 18:59:22

You could convince yourself that you would be doing a service chatting to all those old folk !

Blencathra Fri 11-Jan-19 22:27:18

Not really Sodapop. I belong to U3A and sometimes sign up on trips organised by them. I am happy to take up an invitation to a posh tea, but not just because I am an older person in the village. Much better to give the money to a charity for the homeless. I remember my mother moving to a village when about my age and the rather ludicrous thought that she might be given some of the produce from the Harvest Festival!