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How old are you when you are old enough to....

(62 Posts)
K9KTK Thu 10-Jan-19 16:21:58

I live in a very friendly village with an active village committee which organizes annual events. Every year they have a couple of events for "pensioners" to which I get invited. This year I have been invited to an afternoon tea at a very posh restaurant. There ain't no way I'm going although I have been said "pensioner" for over 11 years now. The day I go to something for "pensioners" is the day I give up because that will the day I am "old" and I ain't there yet. I'm wondering how others respond to these very well-meaning invitations.

Tangerine Thu 10-Jan-19 16:25:33

"Pensioners" seems like an unfortunate word to put in such invitations. Would you go if they used a different word? An afternoon tea at a posh restaurant sounds very inviting.

Why don't you ask the village committee to phrase their invitations differently. You may get a positive response.

Luckygirl Thu 10-Jan-19 16:26:52

Afternoon tea at posh restaurant - for free?! - sign me up!

Grannyknot Thu 10-Jan-19 16:27:22

I was extremely happy to be asked the other day in a restaurant whether I'm a pensioner, because it reduced my bill by half when I replied "Yes". grin

I don't care what people call me, as long as they don't call me late for dinner!

Mapleleaf Thu 10-Jan-19 16:33:53

I’d go (and I’m not, strictly speaking, a pensioner yet). I love afternoon tea! 😁

Nonnie Thu 10-Jan-19 16:34:19

Another one who doesn't care what they call me. I would be delighted to join that group if invited.

I would like to know when 'elderly' kicks in, no one seems to know. Am I and if not when will I be?

Lynne59 Thu 10-Jan-19 16:48:06

If I had been invited to a posh restaurant for tea, I'd be glad to go....and I'm only 59

LadyGracie Thu 10-Jan-19 17:02:10

I’d go, I love afternoon tea in a posh restaurant pensioner or not.

Cabbie21 Thu 10-Jan-19 17:05:24

I draw a pension so I am a pensioner - what’s wrong with that? Better than OAP.
Afternoon tea sounds good to me.
I don’t consider myself elderly though. I think elderly is not merely age ( 85+? ) but a question of physical condition and / or attitude.
Senior citizen? Senior?
Or do you think the invitation was really intended for those who are mainly housebound or those who live alone or can’t afford treats?

Feelingmyage55 Thu 10-Jan-19 17:07:40

I’d go. Think of the chat and the amazing back stories. I think you are missing out - or at least go a couple of times. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

NannyJan53 Thu 10-Jan-19 17:11:30

A few years ago, when Mum was about 82, a friend of hers involved in The Rotary organised a Christmas meal for the 'elderly'

He told Mum he never thought to ask if she would like to go, as he didn't think of her as elderly. She is quite a young looking and acting 80 plus year old. But I think she would have quite like to have been asked.

NannyJan53 Thu 10-Jan-19 17:14:59

Forgot to add. My paternal Grandad, when in his 70's used to go to a club for 'Pensioners'. When we asked Nan why she didn't go with him ( she was in her 70's), she replied, 'I don't want to mix with a lot of old folk'! smile

Seriously, I would have gone, I am 65 and a free anything is one of the perks of being retired!

cornergran Thu 10-Jan-19 17:25:26

I think I’d have gone, sounds an excellent afternoon. Grannyknot my Dad used that phrase regularly, and meant it. It seems I share some of his approach to life. smile.

kathsue Thu 10-Jan-19 17:29:41

This reminds me of my Gran. At 96 she was in a home and she'd talk about that noisy old man or that very old lady over there. they were at least 20 years younger than her!
As for myself, I don't care what they label me, I go to the cream teas and cheap theatre trips as often as I can.

Maggiemaybe Thu 10-Jan-19 17:30:23

I started availing myself of "pensioners' specials" at cafes and pubs as soon as I stopped paid work at 60, even though I can't get at my state pension till I'm 66. I'm a pensioner without a pension, the poorest sort, and every little helps!

Baggs Thu 10-Jan-19 17:31:29

When one is old enough to be living on a pension one is at least a little bit old. I'd happily go to a pensioners' posh tea if I was deemed to qualify, regardless of my age.

If age is "just a number", as many people argue (I don't, by the way), then behave as if it is.

I think it's silly to deprive oneself of what sounds like a nice, social occasion in case someone thinks one's old. Let them think what they like! It won't make any difference to your age, or whether you live on a pension.

Maggiemaybe Thu 10-Jan-19 17:33:24

Though DH and I once went along to a fun day for pensioners organised by our local council, drawn in by the promise of prizes and special offers. It was thoroughly depressing - funeral plans, care homes and mobility aids - and far from winning any prizes, we ended up signing up to a direct debit for Age UK! grin

GrandmaKT Thu 10-Jan-19 17:34:53

I regularly go cycling with a group organised by Age Concern. At 59 I'm about the youngest- some are in their 80s - but very fit! Usually do about 30 miles. What's in a name?
However - I did complain to the local council when they advertised their "Senior Olympics", which included the events of dominoes and welly throwing! Bloody insulting! angry

MiniMoon Thu 10-Jan-19 17:44:04

I'm 67 and have embraced my inner pensioner. I'll go to anything I'm invited to. Also as soon as I was eligible, I asked about concessions wherever I went.
I love Afternoon Tea, I'll go in your place.

Poppyred Thu 10-Jan-19 17:55:41

This reminds me of my mum who used to turn down offers of day trips from me and my sister because she would have to be wheeled around in a wheelchair. Wheelchairs are for’OLD’ people she used to say - her being around 75 at the time. 😂😂 I’ve decided to embrace it and take up all offers!

Day6 Thu 10-Jan-19 17:58:28

I don't mind being a pensioner but I do think it conjures up images which probably don't suit many of us. I still feel very lively (in the head, at least!) I am also young at heart I think. Inside I am still in my 20s. How did I get to this age? I am thankful I have, but it happened so fast! grin

My mother at 82 refused to use a stick even though she had a bad hip and back, She'd link arms with her companions. She used to call frailer older people 'poor old dears' never realising she was one herself!

I wouldn't let the term 'pensioners' stop me from going to a nice posh restaurant for tea though.

petra Thu 10-Jan-19 17:58:30

This could be a friend of mine. I'm the only pensioner that she will socialise with. She lives in 'supported' housing and hates it.

sodapop Thu 10-Jan-19 18:00:11

Out and proud as a pensioner, our commune hosts a meal every year for the over 65s. Five courses, different wine with each one and an accordionist playing between courses. All free for us, we love it. Does go on a bit though, starts at midday and still going strong at 7pm.

travelsafar Thu 10-Jan-19 18:01:40

I would go too as i really enjoy anything like this, it is a great opportunity to chat to new people and you will be surprised what you can find out from some of them, it wouldnt require a perm to make your hair curl!!! smile

starbird Thu 10-Jan-19 18:04:51

To me pensioner signifies someone who has probably worked for 40 years and is deservedly receiving a pension to allow them to retire. . It is something to be proud of and I much appreciate my bus pass and rail card, and any other perks such as concessionary rates at the cinema etc, although in fact I am still working part time. I don’t understand why people object to calling a spade a spade and see no need to come up with some euphemism to describe my status quo.