Things your mother said!

And two things a friend's mother used to say. She lives near Liverpool.
....she's as much use as a chocolate ashtray on a motorbike
.....I feel so low, I could limbo dance wearing a top hat
Always makes me laugh.

On asking dad where he was going-- " on the shore for a loaf " would be his answer.
Ponds vanishing cream to which dad told mum to " put plenty on ".
Isme----hat on straight.
You'd make a sack of spuds do you twice--about my appetite.
A woman mum used to know was named Lydia and mum always said" going to see Lydia-bin ". It always made me laugh and has done ever since. Apologies if there are any Lydia's here.

My mum used to say when we laughed too much .
That’s a crying laugh,
when we sat on a stone step
You’ll get cold on your kidneys.
Oh joys of growing up in the 50s

Your hair is your crowning glory

" Don't burn the candle at both ends" and also "Late nights bring sad mornings" (That one might have been my dad) "up the wooden hill to Bedfordshire"

GrandmaMoira my mum (4'11") used to say good things come in little packages. It was years later that I learnt the rejoinder - "Poison comes in little bottles!!" Not that I would use that for my Mum!

One of my favourites is “Do you think I was born yesterday” and “ I'm not a daft as I am cabbage looking" "Do you think I came down on the last banana boat"
So many of these my Mom and my late grandma used to say.
I've not used any on my children.
When asking what's for supper I was told nibbies and skiaks. Not sure if that's spelt correctly or what on earth they are!

"It'll all end in tears", said if we children were getting over-excited and giddy. Looking back, this particular prediction usually proved right.

pensionpat My mum's response to 'what's for tea' was similar except ours had sugar on it rather than egg! Her other favourite saying was,'There's 2 ways of doing anything - my way and the wrong way'.

Just remembered one of my Gran's sayings when she wasn't well: I feel like a sick monkey! And if I asked what was in the drawer/box/cupboard I was told 'lay holes for meddlers'. Never did work that one out.

Oh what lovely memories. I've heard my mum say a lot of these. " There's no peace for the wicked." When she was stressed " If I had wings I'd fly miles" If my hair was a mess,"you look like you've been drawn through a hedge back'ards." when she went out and I asked where she was going," to see a man about a dog". Picking my nose," you'll poke your eyes out in a minute. Don't eat cheese late at night, "you'll be dreaming of thee." When I had a coat or something to wear and I complained it was too big, "You'll grow into it". She always made sure clothes would last a couple of years. When I was courting my ex husband his mum used to laugh and say to me, " It's alright playing with a lighted candle as long as you don't put the wick out." ( meaning sex) lol

My mother - from Lancashire - would frequently say: "Stop moithering me!" (stop pestering) or "Don't give me that chelp!"....the mildest demur was seen as "answering back" by her....

When it was about to rain and the sky was dark my mum used to say "0h it's black over Bills mothers". We never did meet or know of Bill's mother. Another saying was "like your beetroots always handy" never did understand that one . Thank you lovely mum

If asked what she had paid for something, DM always said ‘money in good words’.

Pride before a fall.

EllieRose43 we had the 'lay holes for meddlers' too! and if we were just sitting chatting it was "Well, this is neither fishing nor mending the net", so we would have to get up and start doing some work! I must admit to using that myself as well.

"Keep your 'and on your 'alfpenny" was my grandmother's saying - I have a pretty good idea what she meant as it was always before I went out on a date!

My mother said I would get piles sitting on the school radiators - so the opposite of cold.

And she always used to shout, if we were squabbling - "I don't care what it is, just share it!" - this left my brother and I somewhat puzzled as to what to do when we were arguing over a worm we had found in the garden!!

One last one:
There is so much good in the worse of us and so much bad in the best of us, that it scarcely behoves to talk about the rest of us.

When asked what was for tea she would tell me, “A walk round and a kick at the table leg.”
When she couldn’t be bothered to explain what something was or if it was a secret, she’d say it was “A wigwam for ducks to perch on.” Where ever does that come from!!

This'll never do, cried Fred, there's chickens in the garden bed!

I bit my nails until I was well into my teens. My grandmother expressing abject horror said “What would a potential beau think if he was helping you out from a boat”. Fat chance.
While staying with her when I was about 4 or 5 she said about the children playing outside “No, you can’t play with those children. They pick their noses and don’t wash their hands when they have been to the lavatory”. Funny I thought - I do both those things.

"Have you a clean hankie?" was one of my mother's standing expressions when we were going anywhere, said just after, "Have you been to the toilet?" She was also a hot on the clean underwear in case we were taken to hospital.

It wasn't only mothers: Daddy said, "If the wind turns your face will stick like that." if one of us looked sulky, or "Boil a kettle on it" if we pouted, it being his daughter's lower lip.

Pride comes before a fall, and if you sit on the table you will never get married!
She also said bread and pullit was for tea. What is pullit?

Don’t put shoes on the table, it’s unlucky, don’t bring blossom from the fruit trees into the house it’s unlucky.
Don’t wash your hair when you have your monthly it willl give you a heavy period (had one anyway).
Don’t open an umbrella in doors unlucky.
I could go on and on.

Well, I do know what thought did. He followed a muck cart and thought it was a wedding. Or so children were told in the Glasgow area when I was a child in the 1950s.

'Aye tak something in your haund': in other words, always take some small thing when you go visiting. In her case, it would be some Scottish tablet or shortbread, even when she went out on her bike to have a cuppa with a friend.
My granny, her mother, had an obsession with her bowels and ours as well. She used to ask: 'Have you had a good turn out today?'
Sorry to lower the tone!