Grumpy Grandpa..,

Yes ....my husband hardly gives his 11 year old grandson or his 7 year old granddaughter a sideways glance! He’s an awful grandfather . They also know this. When they receive Xmas or birthday presents from ‘us’ ... which I have bought wrapped and paid for they are videod by their parents saying ‘thank you’ to grandad! My grandson will say it quite readily.... my 7 year old granddaughter cannot and will not say it!! She would rather have the present taken away as ‘punishment’. My grandson is easy going and amiable and I think makes ‘exvuses’ for grandad in his own mind. My granddaughter has a much more robust mind and knows a thorough-going arse when she she’s on! Clever girl that and I admire her for it!

There used to be a list, but I can see it has disappeared,
DD stands for Dear Daughter, DS for Dear Son, DIL daughter in law, other in laws with the relevant letter in front of IL i.e. MIL mother in law. DH is Dear Husband, OH seems to mean Other Half. GC grandchild etc. Hopes this helps.

What was your husband like with his own children, OP (means original poster)? Is he a retired school-master and sick of kids?

If asking him why he is grumpy when they come doesn't help, you could suggest he goes for a walk, works at his hobby etc when the grandchildren are around.

Or give him one room in the house which is out -of-bounds to the children.

These are not good ideas, as they will mean that the grandchildren grow up knowing that grandpa d doesn't like them. Has he thought about that?

My husband gets grumpy when my children, grandchildren, or friends come. It's a problem. He says he likes to just be quiet, but then goes off to his Mmodel Railway Club to meet his mates. I get fed up but after 54 years he's never going to change!

My husband is not the biological grandfather, but he adores our 4 grandchildren. He loves nothing better than talking to them, playing games, teaching them the finer points of rugby, listening to their stories. Grandparents who dislike children are missing so much !

I think I asked this before once but don't recall a reply, is their a difference in acronyms for Sil (sister in law) and Sil (son in law). I often find it very confusing but perhaps I'm just a bit dim. ??

I give up

We both love having the grandchildren round, I probably enjoyed the little ones more than Grandpa did because he was never sure what to do other than cuddles and stories. Now that they're older he does more with them and especially enjoys their conversation. You don't say how old your grandchildren are but perhaps they haven't reached the age at which some men cope better.
I must say that we both also enjoy our adult time when they are not here, they can be exhausting.

I would imagine that most older men find little ones challenging.It gets better when they grow up a bit and want to do outdoor things with Grandad.
Get him in the garden and directing the children to ‘help’ with sweeping up, bird feeding and weeding etc.
Or indoors, helping them do jigsaws or building Lego.

Sorry tanith but at the top of my thread it doesn't have a menu for acronyms. It was just a straightforward question that I though someone might enlighten me about.

DSilver,
If the very idea of children coming to visit is a cause for anxiety, it's likely because your H feels he won't be able to cope. Small children in particular, can be noisy and disruptive....they demand a lot of attention and a hefty dose of patience.

Perhaps he has unresolved issues with his own parents/grandparents. How did he feel when he was a young father? Did he interact well with his own children? How is he with other children in general? Is he in poor health?

Sad as it may be however, some people just aren't comfortable engaging with children, even their own and it doesn't necessarily mean the children aren't loved. An honest discussion with H might encourage him to share his feelings and that could be a step in the right direction.

My DH does not like to be around children or babies. He has no siblings or children of his own. If I let him know my DD is coming with GD he goes upstairs to avoid them. If I don't let him know beforehand he does exchange greetings with my DD then goes upstairs. It is not worth the upset of trying to get him to engage with my GD.

Nanny27 and others, if you are using a PC it's at the top of the thread but I've just checked on my phone and it isn't there. You need to go to the bottom of the screen and click on 'Desktop site'

Once you are in the thread. Hope that helps.

On my screen the link is immediately after FAQ on the top left of the page
www.gransnet.com/info/acronyms

I know this is off topic but I find the acronyms take as much faffing around the keyboard as it does to type the whole word. SiL could be son-in-law or sister-in-law and all my family are dear to me so all the D this and D that is a bit tiring. So there! ?

It's the other way round in our house! I'm the one who gets grumpy as the GC leave their detritus where it drops!! On a one to one they're fun but as a herd it's hard going

My husband likes the idea of the gc coming but he is very much a creature of habit. Likes his meals at set time and tv programmes at the same time every day. And they like to watch the same films every time they come and he moans about that.

I’m with you lizzypop!

If the OP gives a bit more info it would help targeting advice? For instance, If it’s a ‘blended’ family I can imagine grandchildren ‘in name only’ might not spark quite the same joy - hence the grumpiness!

If quite a lot of un dislike and don’t understand acronyms why do others use them ? It would be much more easier and we would understand the posts more if they were just written without acronyms. Could we try and ban the acronyms ? Surely not too difficult and much better particularly for new joiners. Secret code I’d not very welcoming is it ?

My DH is a bit of a grump when the GC come over. He looks forward to them coming but he can’t cope with their behaviour sometimes so he gets cross with sometimes. I just tell him to let it go over his head and keep calm. That’s what I do. I do get exhausted with them as we have 8 GC but we only have them all here occasionally. We usually have 3 each week. It’s such fun to have them over.

Perhaps he just dislikes the disruption to his routine, and the noise! DH and I both 'groan' when a GC visit is announced, but when they arrive we are thrilled to see them. They soon settle down and we console ourselves with the thought that their visits are infrequent and relatively short.

I love it when the GC's are coming, it's the kids I grumpy about.

Urmstongran agree. OP has not come back with more information so this thread has turned into a discussion about acronyms.

My Father died before my children were born, so my very dear stepfather was Granddad to them and he adored them, they could do no wrong. My equally dear Father-in law used to drive MiL mad before a visit as he was so excited. My own husband has infinite patience with our GC. I feel very sad for those who cannot enjoy their families.