Grumpy Grandpa..,

Why does he get upset ? Are they his GC or just yours ? How does he act when they are at your home ? Is he jealous of the attention that you give them?

There are plenty of " Victor Meldrew's " about. He won't be on his own.

Unless of course he's unwell ?

Fortunately, my OH is always keen to see the GC, both his biological and non biological little ones - all the same in his eyes.
Have you actually asked your OH what the issue is? Does he find them too noisy and messy? Or is it something deeper?

Yes so many unknown factors here, talk to him about it there may be some way to make things easier for all of you. I don't think you are alone with this problem.

I think we need a bit more information before advice can be given. Essentially the answers to the questions posed in the post above.

Are they joint grandchildren or just yours? How old are they? Does he have any health problems? Have you asked him what the problem is and tried to mitigate it?

My DD had two of her three children before my DHs DD had her two girls. He used to get grumpy when I was a bit late getting home after visiting them. One day I said that I wasn't going to put up with this and he got much better. Once his own GCs arrived he said that he understood how much they meant to him! and realised why I enjoyed my time with them. Having said that he is never grumpy when they come here.

I am new to this site,just browsing at the moment.Is there some secret code language being used on these comments that I am not meant to understand.If they are acronyms used to save spelling/typing then perhaps a index could be provided.
Not meant as a criticism just a first observation.
Now you can see why I have chosen my username!!!!!

There is a list of acronyms. Just scroll down and you will find a link.

yes my OH is a bit like that -it's the change in routine, the extra noise and fun, but he knows he will just have to put up with it, so I ignore him.

I agree with grumpymal - I'm new to this too and I find the abbreviations a bit confusing. So far I've managed to work out that SiL is son in law, GC is grandchild/ren but can't work out what DD or DH is supposed to mean. I couldn't find any list when I scrolled down but perhaps it's just me...

There is a list of acronyms. Just scroll down and you will find a link.

There's a link at the top of the page too.

My husband's a grump too when it comes to Grandkids because he can't relax when they are around. He always appears to be looking for a catastrophe that might happen and worries that I might kill off somebody else's child. I managed quite well with ours so I'm not sure why but, hey ho.

Too little information, what does he resent? Does he not like being the centre of attention? How frail is he? How are the children when they come? How did his father behave when you took your children? How do you behave when they come? It would be beneficial for both of you to sit down and explore what he is feeling and the tension or whatever you experience. Explore, do not shut him down by platitudes or too early soothing. Try it and see. He may want a plan?

Is he only grumpy when they visit you or is he like this when he goes to their house,maybe when they are older he may be able to interact with them on a better level.
My OH loves our DGCs visiting anytime,when we go shopping he is always popping bits and pieces into the trolley saying "its xyz'd favourite and they may call in this week so we must have them in the fridge"

My DH loves them and does lots for them but 'I' know he doesn't much enjoy it as he is more cheerful when they leave! To be honest, there are times I've felt the same (they used to live with us) as it's exhausting but I miss them when they're not here and wouldn't have it any other way.

As others have said, need more info to comment OP. Whose GC? What does he actually do, for example, make them feel uncomfortable? Take it out on you before/after?

My husband loves it when the grandchildren come here. We both do. However, it's nice to have peace and quiet when they've gone

I’m so with those who don’t get the acronyms- and I’ve scrolled up and down looking for what they mean and now feel even more of a failure! I read with great interest all the posts and the comments and try hard to work them out- I’ve got SILand Dil- didn’t realise I was so stupid!

My nom de plume does not apply to my attitude to my grandchildren, who give me a perpetual excuse to play aroun, sing, and generally behave in a manner unbefitting my years. They are always welcome.

With acronyns I call the first D Dear, so DH becomes Dear Husband, DD Dear daughter, Dgc Dear Grandchild etc. I hate acronyms and never use them, always write everything in full to avoid confusion.

Ladies look at the top of this thread it’s says

GRANSNET FORUMS
Active
Acronyms

I feel for you DSilver. My OH has always disliked small children. I had two teenagers when we married 26 years ago and now they are married with small children of their own. When they come to visit my OH disappears into our bedroom, not to be seen again until they leave. I used to take him cups of tea and food but I’ve stopped doing that now. If he wants anything to eat or drink he must come and get it himself. Needless to say he does not deserve the title of grandpa - and we all call him the Ogre. I don’t like how my OH acts and neither do my DC and they have commented that it makes them feel uncomfortable so visits are few and far between. I tend to go and visit them and stay with my DC for a week or so here and there. It’s his loss. I have told him how we all feel but it’s made no difference. I leave him to it.

I've been here about a year, and agree with the other ladies, re the acronyms. I get about 4 of them, but just keep reading on, not really having a clue who is being referred to! I cant find a list either, I don't use them, I prefer to just write what Im thinking. A post filled with initials doesn't interest me, even though Id like to read it!!

Never mind the annoying acronyms, let's concentrate on the question and give some advice and support.
I'd like to know whether her husband was like this with their own children when they were small or if this is just a new thing with the grandchildren.

Well said ladyinspain. I hate acronyms and always use proper words. As a nurse in the 60s they were not allowed at all as they were the cause of so many errors in people's understanding of them..