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Explaining things to my grandsons

(50 Posts)
NanKate Sun 10-Mar-19 15:35:03

My two grandsons live near Brighton which is the gay capital of the south.

In their village is a trans man who dresses up in what could only be described as Pantomime Dame costume and makeup. Usually with a frilly parasol. We passed him on Saturday and my 8 year old DGS asked ‘why does that lady look so posh’? I said I would explain at home which I did saying some men enjoyed dressing up in ladies clothes and makeup. I said that also some ladies liked dressing up as men. ‘Ok’ was the response.

I love the way kids just accept statements of fact and leave it at that.

stella1949 Sun 10-Mar-19 15:37:47

Good for you, for explaining so frankly and matter-of-factly. And don't you love how children accept these things !

sodapop Sun 10-Mar-19 17:37:55

Brilliant NanKate We worry about children without cause often, they accept people as they are without preconceptions.

EllanVannin Sun 10-Mar-19 18:32:33

Mum and I loved Danny la Rue and the beautiful clothes, brilliant make-up too. She wouldn't miss his shows if she could help it.
Good looking chap too. Amazing transformation.

They're better looking than some women !!

EllanVannin Sun 10-Mar-19 18:35:01

Does anyone remember the programme about the " Ladyboys " in Thailand ? They were gorgeous too----their looks were wasted as a man.

notanan2 Sun 10-Mar-19 21:15:15

Well that will be contary to what they get taught in school: that that person is as much of a "real" woman as anyone else, and refering to their maleness is transphobic.

You were right to tell the truth though

Namsnanny Sun 10-Mar-19 21:26:42

NanKate….for my money you were spot on.
Don't relax too soon though, children have a way of coming back to a topic with a well crafted 'Why'?!!!
That's a little more complicated isn't it?

maryeliza54 Sun 10-Mar-19 21:28:11

I think there’s some muddled thinking on here re tsnsgenderism and cross dressing/ transvestitism. DLR was the latter, the ladyboys are much more complicated and much wider than that. Transphobia only refers to negative attitudes towards transgender people and does not encompass cross dressing.

GrandmainOz Sun 10-Mar-19 21:43:58

Well done you. I think straightforward explanations tailored to the child's age/maturity are always the way to go.

lemongrove Sun 10-Mar-19 21:52:49

Made me think of the David Walliams character on tv Nan
‘But I’m a laydeegrin
I expect the boys think he just likes dressing up clothes, as all children do.

lemongrove Sun 10-Mar-19 21:55:29

We had a similar person in a very small village that I used to live in, he was accepted by us all and a pleasant man to chat to.He just liked dressing as a woman ( and had a female partner.)

BradfordLass72 Sun 10-Mar-19 22:19:03

I am privileged to know several people whom one would describe as gender diverse, including cross dressers and transgender.

Without exception they are kind and generous people, endlessly forgiving of those who attack them (verbally and physically) and much beloved by the children of all those who attend our theatre group.

jenni123 Mon 11-Mar-19 11:29:58

the Ladyboys came to Brighton every year but I think that last year was the last time. they are beautiful and could certainly be taken for females.

gillybob Mon 11-Mar-19 11:35:36

The David Walliams book/film “The boy in the dress” tackles the issue of cross dressing quite well I think .

Kim19 Mon 11-Mar-19 11:35:54

Children are so accepting of simple fact and truth. They don't usually think of consequential supplementaries and I've had occasion to be glad of that.

Miep1 Mon 11-Mar-19 11:36:10

I used to live opposite a pub frequented by cross-dressers/transgenger men. I was sitting outside in the sun one day, enjoying a pint, when one of them, rather young approached and asked if I could give him make-up lessons. I had to admit that I was probably the only female in a 5 mile radius who never wore it and had less idea than he did!

Mamar2 Mon 11-Mar-19 11:47:59

My nearly 8 yr old GS told me his mummy's friend was born a boy but was a girl inside. She chose to be a girl he told me & she's lovely. Out of the mouths of babes.

gillybob Mon 11-Mar-19 11:57:59

My DD’s best friends are a lesbian couple . When my DGD was very small she once asked them
“ are you both mummy’s? “ and then turning to one of them asked “why do you look like a daddy mummy?” shock good job we had known them for a very long time .

Kim19 Mon 11-Mar-19 12:01:59

I was washing my hands in a hotel toilet recently when out popped a shapely person beautifully groomed sporting a beard. My reaction delighted me as I believe I registered no surprise whatsoever. We simply exchanged hello and that was it. My brain was full of wonderment though. I'm pretty naive and inexperienced in this arena.

Silverlining47 Mon 11-Mar-19 12:06:14

About 40 years ago I was working in Japan and was lucky enough to be invited to my Japanese boss's house for dinner which in itself was unusual in those days.
Amongst the guests was a transgender man who all the girls adored and fluttered and fussed over with great affection. I was told 'In his body he is a man but in his heart he is a woman'. This was the first transgender person I had ever met and was I will always remember this kind and respectful introduction.

ReadyMeals Mon 11-Mar-19 12:06:50

Gillybob I am sure she knew she had a masculine style and may have even been quite flattered.

Franbern Mon 11-Mar-19 12:17:41

So good to read such excellent responses on this matter. One of my g.children (early teens) is transgender -find most other children and young people accept him without question. It is so-called adults who can make life miserable. younger children are usually quite accepting of other people, whether it is to do with some form of physical or mental differences or such things as gender. We could learn so much from them.

gillybob Mon 11-Mar-19 12:17:46

I think you’re right ReadyMeals . She once called into my workplace to drop something in for me when I was out and the young apprentice said “ oh Gillybob, a young lad dropped this in for you”
I questioned what this “young lad” was like and he said “ oh I dunno about 14 wearing shorts”
My DD’s 36 year old friend was VERY flattered indeed . grin

She’s lucky to have amazing skin .

Gilly1952 Mon 11-Mar-19 13:11:31

I keep thinking of that sketch from Little Britain! David Walliams and the other chap dressed up as “ladies” with their frilly dresses and parasols! Think they might have been in Brighton!

Hildagard Mon 11-Mar-19 13:21:35

It’s a funny old world. We accept lesbian and gay’s but a man dressed as a women, no.?! My husband of twenty years crossdresses, but only does when indoors and when we go to Brighton. Where incidentally no one bats an eyelid. We have a normal heterosexual relationship, he just feels comfortable wearing women’s clothes, which satisfies his feminine side, which I believe all men deep down have.Why is cross dressing not acceptable as being gay