How to address letters in the modern world

I am still guilty of using the male only initial when writing to a couple, as in Mr and Mrs J Smith (hubby would be called John in this instance). I still use Master or Miss if writing to unmarried youngsters and use Ms if not sure with adult females.

You misunderstand me grannyticktock I don’t want a card showing a pair of gay bunnies at all, just a card with nice words and a nice picture not featuring a traditional male/female couple.

But gillybob, why do your cards have to show a couple at all? I don't send my married daughter a card showing a couple (of people, animals or anything else) I choose one with a picture that's relevant to her or that she'll like. The only time a card might show a couple is when they actually get married, and even then there are plenty of cards with wedding cakes, champagne glasses etc. Or if you must have a pair of something, try birds, they're usually gender-neutral.

My DD is in a same sex marriage, Christmas cards are addresses to Mrs A & Mrs B followed by surname as DD took her partner's (wife's) surname, she hasn't told me she doesn't like it

I agree with GrowingOld & gillybob it is difficult knowing how to address envelopes to same sex couples, probably best to ask. As for finding cards I just want nice cards that say to my DD & DiL in the same way that you get cards to DD & SiL or DS & DiL, I don't want twee cards just nice ones, they take some hunting out but the last 2 years I have found beautiful Christmas cards.

I expect to be addressed as Mrs as I am a widow, I hate Ms & as for being addressed by Health Professionals etc by my forename, that's a dreadful assumption as I've always been known by my middle name

I struggle with a Christmas card to an old friend who married later in life. She notified me of her marriage to 'Lawrence' and their new address. She failed to tell me her new surname though. I still send a card every year addressed to 'Lawrence and Di' which always seems odd! I've even emailed and asked what her surname is but got no reply - just continue to get a card from 'Lawrence and Di'.

Jocork - a similar thing here. A friend remarried, but for years I didn't know her husbands surname. I did ask in one of my letters, but was never told. Another family member told me when I eventually bumped into them. It did seem odd addressing the envelope by first names only.

mr and mrs .and miss for single person or mr.for single man.

There was some correspondence about this very subject in the Daily Telegraph recently.

If I'm addressing anything to a couple I always use Mr & Mrs J(ohn) Smith but if sending to a female friend who's married I always use her initial. One of my friends does the 'old fashioned' thing of using my husband's initials when sending anything to only me i.e Mrs J Smith which I find very irritating! As for cohabiting couples I'm not so sure - Mr J Smith and M(is)s A Brown is probably the best!