Gransnet forums

Chat

What do you want ‘ professionals’ to call you?

(116 Posts)
Daddima Tue 30-Apr-19 12:42:28

Following on from ‘what do you want professionals to wear?’, I remember we had new nursery teachers who said they had been taught in college that to be called by their first name was more ‘ friendly’. I disagreed, and went for Mrs/Ms.
When working in Marie Curie, I noticed that calling patients by first names was the norm, but I know that my mother and wee auntie much preferred to be addressed as ‘Mrs’.
( I don’t care, as I’m older than everybody!)

paddyann Wed 01-May-19 00:12:26

growing up we always called all the neighbours Mr or Mrs Surname,my children did the same .My GC seem to call most older folk by their first names and I'm not sure if I like it .I still call some neighbours by their surname and prefix.Unless I'm on really friendly terms with anyone I would always do that

paddyann Wed 01-May-19 00:15:35

Elrel our practice was a family one so there was mum and dad and sons and their wives ,it made sense to call them Dr William etc to save confusion.Sadly the last of the family died recently and its the first time in over 50 years theres been no doctor with their family name in the town

Rowantree Wed 01-May-19 00:41:43

I hate 'love' (unless I'm in Yorkshire because everyone's called loov there), 'darling', 'dear', 'sweetie', 'madam', or being referred to as a 'lady' (I'm not an aristo).

I prefer being called by my first name by those I know, and for those I don't know, they can take the trouble to ask.

cornergran Wed 01-May-19 07:54:02

With professional people I’m happy with use of my first name unless the other person expects to be called by their surname when I expect to be addressed as Mrs Corner. Otherwise it feels like an implied power difference. I seriously object to being addressed as a ‘guy’.

Alexa Wed 01-May-19 08:12:58

I agree with Cornergran . The power difference is anachronistic these days when they want the patient to be an active partner in own healthcare.

sodapop Wed 01-May-19 08:32:46

I'm generally not too worried about people using my first name unless its done in a patronising way. I don't like it either if its a phone call from a phone company or similar using my first name.
I agree with the poster who was cross about health care staff talking across her mother and calling her 'Mum' such bad practice and very rude.

BradfordLass72 Wed 01-May-19 08:48:49

I'm often referred to by the appellations most people seem to hate: dear, darling, Sweetie, even, on one occasion, Madam (I was in the Hilton at the time, celebrating my 60th) and I like them all.
My GP calls me by my first name, but she asked first; the doctors in hospital recently called me Mrs, and that as ok too.

Mostly I'm called Whaea (say it just like 'fire') as that's the respectful name used by Maori for an older woman.

Nanny123 Wed 01-May-19 09:43:16

Sometimes I have been asked what would you like to be called (either by first name or surname) I always opt for my first name - but given the choice is nice

dizzygran Wed 01-May-19 10:05:38

I much prefer being called by my fist name - my children's friends have always done this and now my grandchildren's friends do - its lovely hearing them call out to me.

Allegretto Wed 01-May-19 10:24:44

I like to be called Mrs Allegretto by professionals, unless we are both on first name terms. My GP calls me Mrs A and I call her Dr B. My dentist and I use first names. For hospital appointments, I like to be called Mrs. I’m quite happy for my neighbour’s children to call me by my first name and I’m quite happy to be called Madam (definitely not love or dear) in a hotel, restaurant, shop, or the like. I don’t want to be called by my first name by random callers, people I don’t know, or where doing so feels like there is an inequality.

marpau Wed 01-May-19 10:41:55

To help me remember I have my mobile phone number in my contacts list as me. I recently had a call from phone provider and the man said good morning me how are you today! This went on throughout the call as English was not his first language I didn't have the heart to correct him.??

inishowen Wed 01-May-19 10:47:09

I love being called by my first name as I've never liked the surname I was given when I got married. Just don't call me dear, that's so offensive as it means old lady to me.

Kim19 Wed 01-May-19 10:56:28

Think it's somewhat an age thing with me. Prefer Mrs when it's a really young person but more tolerable when someone more mature does the familiarity thing. Much prefer to be asked though. I'll have to do some self analysis on this one!!

Shinyredcar Wed 01-May-19 11:04:13

I never know which to choose. The personal name I use is my second given name. I get called by the first given name by everyone official looking at a list, and I generally ignore them because I don't recognise it as referring to me.

If asked, I tell them which I prefer, which is noted down and then no one uses it. Why do they bother?

My late husband's surname never felt as if it was anything to do with me, even after 50 years. It's ironic that all his daughters use their partner's name, his parents are dead, and first wife remarried so I am the only one with this name now. I'd like to abandon it, but feel guilty!

AnnS1 Wed 01-May-19 11:11:20

On the phone to bank call centre the other day, was called by my first name. Thought it was a bit too friendly.

henetha Wed 01-May-19 11:11:30

The really elderly are so often ignored or overlooked that I'm grateful to be called anything. I love being called by my first name by all and sundry. It makes me feel that the girl I was does still exist.

Daisyboots Wed 01-May-19 11:11:38

I have just spent two weeks in hospital in Portugal and may finally find out what is wrong with me and the treatment planned next Monday 6th. Only been going on since the first CAT scan on the 2nd January. But at the hospital the doctors were introduced as Dr Amalia, Dr Miguel and Dr Diana. The nurses introduced themselves as Joana, Carolina etc as did the auxiliaries. I was universally called Dona Daisy which how they politely call older women.
I am now 75 and I nor any of my friends would particularly prefer to be called Mrs in most situations. I think that went out with some of my mother's generation.

sarahellenwhitney Wed 01-May-19 11:12:02

Its personal choice but I believe then out of courtesy on becoming an adult we should be asked our preference. I would not dream of calling my doctor, dentist, bank manager etc other than by Mr/ Mrs /Miss or any other title they had so expect the same .

Maggiemaybe Wed 01-May-19 11:27:11

Dona Daisy is lovely, Daisyboots, but not the equivalent in English. Mrs Maggie would just sound plain daft, imho. smile Good luck with your test results and treatment.

I'm happy to be addressed by my first name - after I've been asked first. I think just launching in with the first name without checking first is too familiar. I'm also happy with love, darling, pet, madam, even guy at a push! Anything really except dear, which sounds so condescending and gets my hackles up.

coast35 Wed 01-May-19 11:37:01

I have a friend who is a nursery teacher and the children call her Miss Claire. A happy compromise.

Anneliese63 Wed 01-May-19 11:55:58

I really don’t mind what I am called. However, I was quite disconcerted on three separate occasions last week to be addressed as ‘Bab’!

Patticake123 Wed 01-May-19 11:58:16

I prefer Mrs until I tell them to use my first name but Lovie, Dearie, Sweetie, etc make me want to scream at them and list my qualifications and the jobs and responsibilities I’ve had!

Katekeeprunning Wed 01-May-19 12:13:07

I expect to be called Mrs until I tell them not to

leeds22 Wed 01-May-19 12:13:21

Local butcher calls everyone darrrling. Hate it, so don’t shop there any more. I don’t mind the abbreviated form of my first name but definitely not the full version.

Hazeld Wed 01-May-19 12:35:35

I don't mind being called by my first name if it's the doctor, dentist or someone similar but I hate being called dear or Madam. I loved Charleygirl5's comment about the manager in Waitrose. Made me laugh. I wish I'd been there. I too like janeainsworth went shopping in a store and as the cashier passed me my card back he said thank you for shopping with us Mrs Dixon which I thought was lovely. He actually took the time to look at my name and use it.