NudeJude, I think the wheel that BradfordLass offered is an invaluable tool that you can use to learn the workings of a controlling relationship and in turn help your daughter-
The following is what I have personally experienced and carried out on my own- I ever so slowly changed my tone from heavy with concern to light as a feather, not mentioning anything personal or expressing worry- Discussed weather, hobby, the news, anything the individual is interested in-
In time, as exchanges became more frequent, the individual began to offer bits of information, not to be commented on immediately, but simply understood with an even acceptance of what's being said-
I learned to express a bit of interest, and concern where applicable, in the partner/husband/wife, be it their well being or struggle or hobby, so forth -- initiate them into the conversation, gently-
Doing this over the course of months/years .. (it can take time..) the person slowly surfaced from the clutches of the control enough to recognize, on their own, the dynamic of the relationship, the impact it was having and finally re-established their confidence enough to begin to do something about it-
Be confident- Good luck-
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