Fil victim of doorstep con artists.

I certainly wouldn’t think this heralds a decline in his cognitive capacity. Anyone can get sucked into a scam. Rather you ought to commiserate with him and let him know that it can happen to anyone.

Now he’s actually been almost conned he should be more aware and savvy in future. We all learn by our mistakes.

Thanks for all the feedback. Fil has a firm grip (normally) on his financial affairs and would brook no interference from any family member. We don’t want him to move purely because of this incident, but also for company and ease of access to local facilities. He currently lives in a small village with no shop, doctor, bank etc and a very occasional bus service. Anything he does requires lifts or taxis or the shopping bus on a Friday. The nearby larger village has all the facilities he needs within walking distance of some very nice retirement apartments. His weekly social club is also in this village as is his indoor bowls. At the moment he spends a lot of time by himself which can make him quite dispirited plus he’s having to pay for a cleaner, gardener and taxis. My sister in law has emailed him some links to retirement flats again so we’ll see if there’s any change in his thinking. (She’s had to email him as he would shout her down if she tried to talk to him) Dh is going down at the weekend as well to see him so we will have to wait and see what happens. Personally I’m not optimistic!

Another solution would be to limit the amount of money in his current account, pension payments and paying for everyday living only. When his account balance reaches £1500, any surplus should be automatically transferred to a deposit account.

Make sure all his savings are in accounts where you need to give notice for withdrawals, so that anyone wanting large sums from him will have to be prepared to wait 3 days or more to be paid.

Not fail safe but it should deal with casual door stop scams like these builders and give him time to think about his decision.

I agree with others that people of all ages get caught by these scams, The best thing to do is for him to set up his finances so that he cannot just go to the bank and withdraw large sums on demand.

This and my previous email suggests ways this can be done and they are systems he can go and set up at the bank on his own so that he can feel that he is again in control of his life.

Lots of people have been caught by these sorts of scams - not just elderly people. I expect, like many people, he was brought up to be polite and not to distrust everyone that approaches him. Maybe we should all be a little more cautious and assertive.

You say he has been coping very well for the last few years and has in the past been adamant that he doesn't want to go into supported living. We don't say all the younger people who have been caught out by other kinds of scams - often losing many thousands of pounds- are no longer fit to manage their lives, so should it be the immediate response when something like this happens to an older person? Of course, if this incident has unnerved him and makes him re-consider his previous determination to stay in his current home, then I think it's fine as long as that's what he wants.

I think there is a clue in the original post.

"He's almost enjoying the fuss and the police visits".

Is this an old person that does't see many people? Did these guys turning up on his doorstep seem like a break from the same old, same old of his usual life?

Perhaps the way to go is to get him involved in a couple of things that happen locally. There is usually something going on that involves older people being picked up and taken to some ones house for tea or to something like an art session.

Look. I'm no expert but I think moves in this direction might make him more willing to accept a new situation where there are people to react with and lead to him being more willing to move.

I am nowhere near his age but there are days that I would welcome anyone turning up at my door that I could chat with (though I wouldn't invite them in or give them money, next year who knows, we all change).

Make it a daily limit.

But even if there is camera, he may still decide to open the door and be conned.

Cold he talk to the bank and have a voluntary limit on the amount of cash he can take out at one time without alerting extra checks or contacting you?

about footballs ?????? About doorbells !?

Hi Katek I've just seen on another thread about football's that a poster has a camera called Hive trained on the door, it alerts you in your phone and you can actually see and speak to the person at the door.
This would hopefully scare these people off.

Oh what utter vile people.

Can you get him one of those door bells that you can see from your phone? Maybe that would give you an idea of who is at the door?

You will need to find out the specific laws in your area, but I believe that it is generally accepted that if someone is cognitively intact, they have the right to live at risk. This means that unless your FIL is found to be unable to make his own decisions, he cannot be forced into sheltered accommodation.

Yes, it's upsetting. Yes, he would likely be better off in a facility. Absolutely. I'm not disputing that. But if he has the ability to make his own decisions and to understand the consequences of his decisions, if he does not want to move, he cannot usually be forced to do so.

Good ideas there Buffybee what a sad state of affairs when we have to think like this.

I remember several years ago when I was helping vulnerable people to move into their own homes this was a constant problem. Even people from established firms were getting them to sign for insurance etc despite it being patently obvious the person was not understanding.

This happened to my Father for several years before he agreed to go into a Retirement Place.
Even though he had ran his own business for 50 years, was very prudent and managed bills, shopping etc.he was still conned by these people coming to the door, offering to trim trees, clear his gutters, fix his roof.
I live literally a minute away and used to plead with him to ring me when they came to the door but he just wouldn't, although he always told me after, insisting they'd done a good job.
He also started giving his card details out over the phone when call centres rang, selling insurance or whatever.
We solved this by scratching the three numbers off, on the back of his card, so it couldn't be used that way but still allow him to get cash out or pay for things in the usual way.
If I had thought at the time, I should have had cameras fitted to cover his doors, the ones that would alert me on my phone if activated, so I would have been able to fend off these thieves.
It could have possibly put them off as well, thinking that they were being recorded.

I gather there's a chain on his front door ?

I agree with lovebeigecardigans there will not be Warden supervision all the time so your father in law will still be vulnerable Katek. Also if he is not keen on moving there is no advantage. Could you not limit the amount of money he has available to him, enough for his day to day expenses but any more needs authorisation from you or your husband. It's very worrying and its a difficult line between him being safe and keeping his independence. Yes indeed what a really good neighbour he has.

This is awful. I don't know how you can persuade someone to go into sheltered housing if they don't want to. My late MIL went into a home because there was nothing else for it - she hated it and never settled.
There's the difficulty that sheltered housing is not as sheltered as it used to be due to cost. Wardens now often only work Monday-Friday 9-5, evenings and weekends you're on your own unless you can afford to pay more. What a wonderful neighbour.

Would you FIL not consider sheltered housing maybe a bungalow on a development monitored by a visiting warden and a TV monitored front door system so he can see who is at the door,would he also consider that if he went down this route he would give you and the family peace of mind .
Well done that neighbour we can all do with neighbours like that .

Anyone absolutely anyone can be conned An old man I used to visit was conned out of money on the doorstep and he was distraught, not about the money, but about the fact he didn’t see through it at the time although he was well read and up to date with all the cons going around he couldn’t believe how he had fell for it and it knocked his confidence severely

If he doesn’t want to move and go in a home or similar let him be on that one I m sure he won’t get conned again and don’t try and persuade him because of this it will make him feel even more useless not everyone wants to be in that environment let him be the one to say if and when he’s ready to move
Yes well done neighbour

It's horrible that his confidence should have been shattered by these people. But he shouldn't feel too bad about it - they have a practised system of railroading folk, even younger ones, so that you don't really have time to think. My FiL was nearly caught out in the days before his memory started to go.
Living somewhere less vulnerable to them might be a good thing, if he'll accept it.

Well done the neighbour!

So sorry but I actually understand because we were conned and I consider myself pretty savvy. We had spoken to a company about getting some trees and bushes pruned and they said when they would be in the area and would give us a call. A man arrived to do the lopping and DH told him to talk to me as I had arranged it. We both assumed he was the man we were expecting, whom the neighbours had recommended, he wasn't! Don't know if he was just chancing it or whether he knew how the real company operated.

He sounds like a grand old man but ,yes,this is a serious situation and a pity he might have to give up his independence because of it.

Oh dear. What a shock for him (and you!) Maybe this will do the trick and make him have a serious think about a move.
The same thing happened to our old nieghbour once. Luckily I sussed what was going on and contacted her daughter before the lady had parted with too much cash for 'roof' repairs. She moved to retirement flat soon after. Fingers crossed for your FIL. Poor soul. He must be feeling awful about it all.