What I want from a care home.......hopefully a long way off!

BY the time you go into a home you usually have no choice in the matter. But even then the ambiance of the home can make a major contribution to the rest of your life there, whether you are happy content and relaxed or distressed and unhappy. These things matter almost more if you have dementia because your reactions are more instinctive.

Having spent nearly 40 years visiting friends and relatives in care homes of all levels, I am very conscious what a difference these things can make.

Imagine living with all those old people, no thanks
current projections are for an exponentially aging population, most people will be old people

I'm not going because it will be full of old people and I want to live among people of different ages! I would have to self fund and would be moaning that it was costing me more because the LAs didn't pay the full cost. I would be quite grumpy I'm sure.

I also have no intention of moving into one of those apartments for older people. There is one being built quite near here which is bigger than those enormous cruise ships. Imagine living with all those old people, no thanks.

I plan to be like one of my neighbours who is 97, lives alone, walks to my house with the aid of a stick, has good hearing and eye sight and holds intelligent conversations without the interrupting some old people do.

If I were ever so unable to cope without going into a home I doubt I would care very much about the music, food or other residents because I would be completely gaga.

What about those of us whose interest in pop music was fun at the time but has now passed over. This includes those who now prefer classical music, jazz, folk music etc etc?

I would also like to be spared singalongs, I am also uneasy about small children and brownies singing carols, it always seems so patronising. Either a proper choir comes and sings Christmas carols or I would rather do without.

My biggest fear if in a care home is the food. Over the last 30 year I have experienced meals in about half a dozen care homes when visiting family and friends. However well cooked it is so safe, so dull, so bland.

I want proper curries (not hot) but Indian not bland English interpretations. I want to be able to eat all sorts of different ethnic foods, still get a chance to try any new trends, be able to ask to be provided with the breakfast of my choice, not just cereals or white toast.

@kittylester, that’s exactly what my gran did. Out of her seven daughters, three wouldn’t play ball but she spent a month at a time with the other four. The last three months she stayed in the house of one, with the other three taking it in turns to go to stay and nurse her.

I had 5 children just so I could do a royal progress when I'm old. I reckon 2 months with each one would be ok.

Cherry Ilike minds! I was just thinking recently that as long as I could manage independently, I'd far rather live in a cheap hotel, no housework or washing up and all the benefits you mention! I'm sure it would be massively cheaper, even at £100 a night and you might be able to negotiate a cheap rate for guaranteed occupancy..

Reading books such as Agatha Christie it would seem ladies with money in days gone by would move into hotels by the sea, sometimes with a nurse in tow.
Although in fiction at least, this seemed to be the more aging male character who had the nurse dancing in attendence.

I suppose my version would be a Premeir inn. Clean towels and sheets, tea,coffee, mini fridge and bar, TV. free WIFI with a restaurant attached.
Probably quite abit cheaper than a care home.
When fed up with one area move to somewhere else.

I am also going to sign up with local vets as scan, blood and Xray results the same day.
euthanasia as required

I’m swallowing the reds if a care home hoves into view. No. Way. Jose.

They would have to introduce a new buzzer system.
It seems to be constant when I’m visiting my friend.
Maybe something that would deliver a small electric shock to the staff until the call is answered.?
Sorry to all care home workers. I know that the majority of you are lovely, caring, hardworking and underpaid.

Mum was in a care home for a year and DD has worked in care for years. None of the homes I know anything about made residents sit together, if they want to stay in their room fine, if they don't want to go to bed until 11pm fine. No piped music and no TV on 12 hrs a day.

BradfordLass72 that looks wonderful. My son's MIL is in sheltered care in NZ but I'm not sure if it's the same place - I think these are self contained apartments but with community facilities somewhere on the outskirts of Auckland. They do seem to have outings though and she is fairly settled although as time goes on she is more confused. Such a sad situation as we knew her quite well when she lived over here where she was a supply teacher in London before returning home. She then had a couple of strokes which have caused her dementia - she's only in her early 70's

Most care homes are not owned by the local authority any more gilly.

littleannie, the point is that it is your playlist so you wouldn't put any barking dogs on it. Some people might.

Oh yes I like the look of that place BradfordLass72! Mainly the animals :-)
I think care homes need a bit of spark. I want one like they have in American films lol.
Preferably one where they can wheel me out to see some horses and where my room has a beautiful view and huge windows.

MawBroonsback you need to book a place at Tranquility, a complex run by friends of mine on quite revolutionary lines and which ticks all your boxes.

They went into it after years of managing rest homes, now largely owned by insurance companies (mostly American) or privately owned by Chinese. They thought they could do much better - and they have.

We've recently been working on a Dementia Book (similar to a Dementia Room.) Their residents go out to jazz clubs, festivals, meals and take part in community events. They have regular themed days looking at different cultures and foods.

This can't be construed as advertising GNHQ, as this is in the north of NZ and most people reading it here are in UK

www.eldernet.co.nz/Facilities/Rest_Home_Care/Tranquillity_Bay_Care_Ltd/Service/DisplayService/FaStID/856

Sadly I will probably end up in one of those disgusting wee smelling LA homes where the highlight of the week is runny shepherds pie. Sorry, just facing the truth .

Bradfordlass. ?

What worries me is that I would be subject to music at all - and endless, hated TV. I would want to stay in my room with audio books and knitting.

I'm not a socialiser, or rather I don't mind if I've made that choice.

To be parked, because it's, 'rest home rules' in front of the telly, with 20 other nodding old biddies would make me want to start hoarding my pills.

Littleannnie- surely better than Vera on a loop!

A good supply of champagne and Valium, a cat, room with a view, lots of books and no pressure to “mingle”! ?

Kittylester - a play list with dogs barking? I'd rather kill myself.

Can I go on your waiting list please, Paddyanne?

Kitty

Was it called 'The Argy Bargy' by any chance?

My mum was stone deaf by the time she went into care and they kept losing her hearing aids so she couldn't hear any of the music they played. I donated their hi-fi system and a lot of records/CD's and boxed set videos to the home when my dad went in and also created a playlist on an iPod for him with all his favourites. It was a great comfort to sit there with him in his final days and play it - he was barely conscious but could obviously still hear and would squeeze my hand when I spoke to him.

If I should end up in care I want to go to one of the ones which has mock up streets with working shops where you can buy sweets and biscuits etc. If they could mock up a concert hall and play videos of my favourite bands that would be even better although I suspect I'd be the only patron . Actually I've just remembered shortly before my dad went in the home created a bar in one of the rooms and a long term resident used to run it serving 'beer and wine' - a great success!