In total panic

Annie I've pm'd you.

Please,nobody attack me because I am not able to handle that.

Is there a risk of over sharing information?

You HAVE TO lock your front door Annie. Everyone has to these days. Not to keep this woman out, doubt if she would bother to come in, but, like everyone else, to guard against burglary.

Can you not go out with your younger daughter? That is very extreme. I have suffered with agoraphobia in the past, after the birth of my first child. Never felt really comfortable outside, even with DH and the baby, but it got me out.

My thoughts exactly lessimore, sadly something that should not be shared has been put on a forum that can be read by anyone. My suggestion is to do what you have been resisting, this modern world is far from safe.

Is Wales really that small that it's only got one cul-de-sac with a mad woman living on it?

Annie you really do need to lock the doors. Get a key safe.

You cannot change other people's behaviour, but you can change your own. You must take responsibility for your own actions.

If you don't lock your door, then you only have yourself to blame. Give your daughter a spare key, and get a key safe so that in case of emergency, someone can get in.

Anniebach If the police came round to your house and told you a brutal homicidal maniac had escaped and was believed to be in your area and you should lock your door until he was caught. Surely you would do so. You must do so now.

I understand how you feel about your daughter and not locking the door, but circumstances have changed and surely your surviving family have advised you to keep your door locked. Would your daughter have advised you differently?

I would speak to the police. I believe you are the widow of a police officer, I think they would treat you with kindness.
I would also complain to the Housing Association and keep a diary of any other incidents.

Your health and security should come first. if you leave your door unlocked and harm comes to you, you will be considered to have contributed to the event by being reckless about your personal safety. You must act for your own self-protection.

Well then Anniebach calling once is hardly harassment.
If the person you are allegedly worried about calling on you, tried the handle of your unlocked door even if she (or anyone else) didn't step over the threshold, it would be your fault.
You're an adult woman with mostly sensible viewpoints but you fail to see that some of what you say is ridiculous. Lock your door.
Try telling police you want assurance that she won't bother you but you won't lock your door.
Why waste police time?

A storm in a thimble.
One call in 2.5 years and an unlocked door.
Sense gone out of the window.

Could your daughter get a key cut so that she can let herself in?

At the very least, Annie, get a sturdy door change fitted. My son fitted one for me and I also have a 'fish eye' in the front door so that I can see who's there before I open it. All the advice you've been given here is good and you need to take heed of it.

change CHAIN, for goodness' sake!

Annie It's not at all silly to be rattled by that.
You clearly won't want to take up a siege mentality and I think that's how it would feel if you started locking your door when it's never been necessary before.
This woman didn't try your door and is likely never to do so. You can report her to the police if she does that.
If the woman does come to your door again, tell her straight away that you don't want to speak to her and don't want her to come round.
If she persists and/or if she looks in your windows you can report her to the police.
Here's hoping you never see her again.

www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/care/housing-options/home-safety/crime-prevention/

Calling round to see if a neighbour is all right after an ambulance has been called is a neighbourly thing to do. You may both be misinformed about each other; give her the benefit of the doubt.
If you are worried LOCK YOUR DOOR.

Gabriella you come across as a hard hearted woman

Annue can I ask you one question do you leave your door unlocked so your living daughter can get in or is it a emotional reason that somehow you fear you are locking your daughter that died out of her home
Please get a lock and give your living daughter a key, your daughter that died would never in a million years want you to be unsafe she adored you She would be the first to tell you to lock the door I could never sleep at night with my back and front doors unlocked
Don’t entertain the lady at the doorstep she may need help support or company but that doesn’t have to be you to give it
Please do look after yourself and don’t feel you are being silly or overreacting, you are not
Keep talking to us xx

BlueBelle
No more hard-hearted than everyone else who exorts Anniebach to lock her door.
A woman called once and the OP was upset by the conversation from that person.
I know full well which daughter was meant and it wasn't the one with horses and dogs.
Anniebach is a mature woman, as are we all, but to complain about being fearful of this woman who has an alleged history of drug use and annoying previous tenants (according to the OP) but leave her front door unlocked seems madness and any right thinking person would have to agree.
If being sensible is being hard-hearted then so be it. It's not my slant on things or should we tread on eggshells with certain posters?

yes i think we should be kind to worried posters

Anniebach, try not to worry too much about this. With luck the woman will not come back, but if she does please keep your chain on and don’t engage with her, just tell her you’re fine and already have family keeping an eye on you. I’d agree that you should let your local police know about the conversation, just so that they have a record of it. But yes, they will definitely advise you to lock your doors, and deep down, Annie, you’ll know that this is the right and sensible thing to do. Please start doing it and look after yourself.

Gabriella We all know Anniebach is going through a difficult time, whilst you may think your views would be held by "any right thinking person", others have greater compassion. Unless you are in the same position you cannot begin to understand her feelings. No doubt you will say you would handle things differently, but not everyone is like you. The way we each handle grief is different for each one of us.

Have you never felt afraid Gabriella? Obviously, if Annie could accept this and deal with the situation herself she would not have reached out to ask for advice.
Try the community officer at your nearest police station, Anniebach or call 101. They can be surprisingly helpful as I found after a scary road rage incident.

Very hash comments to Annie, i feel.

GabriellaG is talking hard common sense, and there is a time for that, and it is now.

Leaving a ground floor door unlocked is very dangerous; an elderly lady was murdered near here by a sneak thief who walked in through her french windows, opened because of the heat, from a communal garden for the flats she lived in.