In total panic

Yes annie you really were lucky to get it all done in such a short time.

I’m like gone and am confused over your neighbours, still hopefully you can make some friends now.

Bit of a storm in a tea cup if you think about it. Never mind.

When do you go for your xrays?

Annie, hope you’re feeling a little better this morning now things have fallen into place ???

Totally now. (person, neighbour, who lives where) But never mind.

Respect for organising a door chain, keybox and intercom, all in the space of three days. Well done.

Who walks the dogs?

Things have fallen into place. The person didn’t know who lived next door to her until she had a new visitor two weeks ago, the visitor was the person who came to my door with the neighbour.no one in the Cul de sac speaks to my neighbour. She has been advised! not to contact me again.

Panic over. Have ordered the intercom , the blessing is we have a by election 1st August and I won’t have to hobble to the front door when canvassers call.

Thank you all for your kindness and advice.

Jools is right. This woman doesn’t realise how strong you are on the inside, she only sees someone who needs a buggy to get around so must be vulnerable and can be taken advantage of. I suspect she also sees your dogs as fluffy little things which won’t hurt a fly. But they too have teeth!

I've just caught up with this, Ab. So sorry to hear you've been distressed, but pleased that you're taking steps to resolve this troublesome issue, and also that other neighbours seem to have rallied round. That's all good.

As Elegran has said, those we love always have access to our hearts.

Wishing you well

"FEA "tactic (error)

Lock the door, treat this as routine and not as a far tactic. People have problems when they do not feel in control - all types of people, strong people, weak people etc. It is a natural part of our psyche. By locking the door you have control and that does not mean you have changed your whole life its just a simple act of locking the door, like putting the kettle on. Always keep negative people out of your life, you owe them nothing. There is nothing wrong in being selfish in the context of keeping yourself as happy as possible, in control of your day to day life.

Ok - what i’m about to say will have most of the nanny state up in arms but I have very personal experience of this - addicts (be they drug or alcohol dependent) are the most selfish of people until they decide to give up their addiction. They will use any means at their disposal to get their hands on whatever it is they’re addicted to. This woman is trying to make you a victim, probably so that through guilt you end up giving her money to feed her habit. You’re going to have to summon up all your courage and tell her to right off! Be very clear that you will not tolerate her cr*p and take the advice regarding security that other people have posted. She sees you as a possible victim - show her you’re not!!

Annie, Annie, I should have said for the Council they are speedy. Sorry.

Barmby the council never acts quickly , they know the person and will fit the key box tomorrow, that certainly is speedy for the council.

I agree Lessismore - in wanting to support anniebach there is no need to be so over the top about the neighbour who, as I understand it, has only come to her door once in two and a half years. That’s not to say that anniebach’s feelings are not totally understandable in her particular context but it’s quite simple to give advice and support to her without having to say such dreadful things ( one of which I see has been deleted) about someone who appears to have problems of her own.

Elegran I think programming the key safe with a number special to both Anniebach and her daughter is a good idea and hopefully a step forward.
Your daughter will just know the number Anniebach and I'm sure she would want you to feel safe and secure in your home.

Annie, we are all here for you and most of understand how upsetting this for you and something you really don't need. You now how some idea how you will approach this difficult situation, the council are coming very quickly to fit the chain and everyone is aware of what you are going through, just remember you have someone very special watching over you. Hope all goes well with the X-ray.

Who takes the dogs out annie?

I was about to ask about your dogs, Annie because I couldn't remember whether you still had two or just the one. I thought you re-homed the younger one but I must have been mistaken.

Barking dogs are the best deterrent. Even if they are really friendly, your neighbour doesn't need to know that.

No - it's quite usual to have to use a key to lock and unlock doors - my front and back doors work that way.

weird and a complete nutter.....really?

No. You don't actually need a key to lock most front doors. Just push it shut.

I am guessing if you shut your front door no one can get in without a key so you don't need to lock it if you don't feel you can. Your daughter wouldn't mind you know. Would probably tell you so if she were here. This has deeply disturbed you and is very weird insensitive behaviour on the neighbour's part - she sounds a complete nutter. It could be worth reporting to social services as it sounds as if she is in need of help although she is probably already known to the authorities.
You certainly need to keep your distance from her. You don't need anyone bringing back bad memories and upsetting you like this. we are all here for you.

Oh you you've got dogs! Let 'em out if she comes again.

Thank you x

I cannot give a key to my younger daughter she lives a 5 hour drive away.

I have no need to ring the police, I am a police widow and there is someone at HQ whose job it is to support retired officers and officers widows.

The woman was not concerned about me, the ambulance crew had been with me five days before she came to my door.

I have a very strong safety chain fitted and my son in law who isn’t is going to fit an intercom , I will know if anyone is
Approaching my bungalow because my dogs bark .

I have asked the council to fit a key safe they will do so
tomorrow they fully understand why !

I cannot yet lock the door sorry, it has been left unlocked for ten years, I am not ready yet to lock it even though I know it’s sensible.

So much kindness, I am so grateful

Thank you x

Indeed. It shows how important it is to read previous posts before replying in haste - the whole conversation can be relevant to the situation. Just reading this opening post thoroughly reveals details which give a clue to how disturbing the encounter was, and the reasons for that.

To be fair, new posters cannot always be up to speed with everything.