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In total panic

(192 Posts)
GabriellaG54 Wed 03-Jul-19 10:32:54

If you've lived there for 2.5 years and she's only just called on you twice recently (in a matter of days?) then I really can't see that as harassment.
Have you proof that she's a user of drugs or is that just local tittle tattle?
You say you've 'been told' that she pestered the previous owners at all hours but she has certainly kept away from you for the last 2.5 years.
You can buy cheap roller blinds (textured, white) which allow you to see out and allow plenty of light in but no-one can see in.
Look online.
If you don't lock your door and she tries the handle...whose fault is that?

suziewoozie Wed 03-Jul-19 10:27:39

Would involving the police perhaps escalate matters in a negative way? It sounds as though this neighbour has problems of her own and whilst she’s upset you , she hasn’t threatened you really has she in a way that is illegal. Try and feel some sympathy for her to put her behaviour in perspective and not ramp it up - easier said than done I know. I agree with the ideas of a key safe and also perhaps a peep hole/ door chain in the door so you can see who is knocking before you answer. I don’t think it’s kind to call her a crazy woman - she’s apparently unwell and her behaviour seems strange but calling her crazy only makes her seem more scary than she almost certainly is. You say you’ve lived there two and a half years- how many times has she knocked at your door in that time? I don’t want to sound unsympathetic but sometimes putting matters into perspective is better advice.

gillybob Wed 03-Jul-19 10:10:46

Oh Annie you do not need this !

You need to speak to the relevant authorities about this . Okay so the woman has not directly threatened you but she is making you feel threatened . I think you should seriously consider a Key Safe, as suggested by Maw up thread, which will enable you to lock the door but give the code to the people you want to have access including perhaps your GP surgery etc. Also perhaps consider having blinds fitted that you can tilt to enable you to see out but no one will be able to see in .

Being pestered by this crazy woman is the last thing you need Annie x

Grannybags Wed 03-Jul-19 10:00:30

You are not being stupid Annie

Whitewave has just said everything I was about to.

flowers

Whitewavemark2 Wed 03-Jul-19 09:57:59

Tackle this as a problem that needs resolving, and nothing more. Do not allow her to affect your day to day life.

There are some good ideas on here and one is contact with your local policeman. Ring them and ask for advice. Undoubtedly if she is drug user she will be familiar to them.

Chain on your door and uptilted blinds and you have done what you can.

But don’t give her an inch. Make it more than clear if she does it again, frankly to the point if being rude.

Coolgran65 Wed 03-Jul-19 09:35:34

You are not being stupid, you feel intimidated. Definitely make a report to the police and have it on record. They could have a word with her to stay off your property. Intercom sounds like a good ides. Can you tilt your blinds so she cannot see in.

What about a security camera. Perhaps Age Concern could help you.

I know you shouldn't need to do greetings but you might feel safer. Also the woman might fetched up if she has no response.

Gonegirl Wed 03-Jul-19 09:34:58

Have you got a chain on your front door? If she does come again, open the door with the chain on, smile politely and tell her you are busy. Then shut the door.

Put some net up at your front window?

Sara65 Wed 03-Jul-19 09:32:29

You are not being stupid! This is very scary and unnerving , as others have said, please lock your door.

Anniebach Wed 03-Jul-19 09:23:55

I told her I was fine and didn’t need help. She said ‘I will
check you are , I will look in your window to check on you.

I know I am being stupid

Luckygirl Wed 03-Jul-19 09:23:52

Oh good grief annie - as if you needed this crazy person on top of everything else. I am so sorry to hear this.

Do you have a lifeline system in your home? The local council can set this up for you if you give them ring. flowers

MawBroonsback Wed 03-Jul-19 09:20:25

Please consider a key safe Anniebach then you can lock your door with an easy heart. Would it also be worth an intercom system for callers to say who they are?
I appreciate the police may not have the manpower to do a lot but this woman is harassing you and it needs to be reported. Perhaps someone in your family could even get a solicitor to do whatever it is they do to restrain her behaviour.

GabriellaG54 Wed 03-Jul-19 09:15:10

Dyffed Dyfed

GabriellaG54 Wed 03-Jul-19 09:13:51

Dyffed Powys Police haven't the manpower to reassure people.
It won't be seen as intimidation.

GabriellaG54 Wed 03-Jul-19 09:10:56

Oh dear...that's a worry Anniebach.
I think the best you can do is to ignore her and, if she comes knocking again, ask her to stop, that you have no knowledge of what she's talking about and don't wish to have any further conversation.
As for your door, whatever advice people offer about locking it, you're not going to take so that's a non starter but it will invalidate your insurance.
I hope you re-think the safety aspect.

Pantglas1 Wed 03-Jul-19 09:10:33

Please lock the door Anniebach and you will BE safer - it’s your castle and you need to pull up the drawbridge against any marauders. And that is how you must look at this situation- she may or may not be dangerous but if that’s how you feel, then do whatever you can to feel secure in your own home. flowers

GrannyGravy13 Wed 03-Jul-19 09:06:21

Oh Anniebach you do not need this woman anywhere near you.

Some people can be so cruel, I can only guess that she has been researching on the internet about your daughter.

Is it worth speaking to your local police and tell them that you feel frightened and intimidated by her?

Anniebach Wed 03-Jul-19 08:57:22

Had awful shock Monday , this is not connected to My agoraphobia .

I moved to this bungalow two and half years ago. Very quiet
Cul de Sac. Only know the gentleman next door but one to speak to on telephone.

There is a woman living next door, never seen her, have often seen police and ambulance there and carers. I was advised to have no contact with the woman .

Monday afternoon a woman knocked my door, asked me If
I was alright my next door neighbour was worried about me, I was baffled and said there must be a mistake I was fine.
Then the woman came to the door, said I saw an ambulance here.

Last Thursday my spine locked, I couldn’t move, surgery sent ambulance, very embarrassing, two paramedics got me mobile. Having x ray today

Anyway this woman started talking about my daughter who died, said they were best friends, my daughter phoned her the night she died and was going to the woman’s house but went to the bridge instead, and said my son in law had been brutal to my daughter. I was shaking.

My daughter didn’t know her , certaintly didn’t phone her. I have my daughter’s mobile.

I have been told she has a drug problem and she played hell
with the people who use to live in my bungalow, disturbing
them at night, the woman said she would look after me !

No one in the Cul de Sac has anything to do with her, she never goes out.

I don’t lock my front door, always left it unlocked for my daughter. I know you will tell me t lock the door, I cannot

This all sounds hysterical but I am afraid of her .