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(38 Posts)
Namsnanny Sun 14-Jul-19 21:33:57

I agree with KatyK and Gabriella!! grin

We had a house warming party the 2nd week we moved in when building work was on going and nothing but dust everywhere!!
I just thought well, they will all see it when its finished no doubt, so what does it matter if they see it before?

I do wonder if this hasn't touched on a sore spot with your husband?
Does he value his brothers opinion of him a little too much do you think?
Maybe he needs to impress him more than you realised?

Summerlove Sun 14-Jul-19 21:24:13

It’s your husbands brother
Husband isn’t interested.

Why do people wanting to visit trump the wishes of one of the houses inhabitants?

Unless this is a constant battle, (in which case you have larger issues) I wouldn’t disrespect my partner by inviting people when he’s not ready.

Norah Sun 14-Jul-19 21:16:56

DH brother is his brother, right?

Norah Sun 14-Jul-19 21:15:45

Its not polite to invite yourself, wait to be invited.

GabriellaG54 Sun 14-Jul-19 21:11:48

Why can't people wait until they're invited instead of asking to visit?
I think it's rude to keep asking when they must know things are topsy turvy.
And before you start tut-tutting, think how many of you tidy round vacuum and clean the bathroom and kitchen when family or friends visit.

M0nica Sun 14-Jul-19 20:40:43

I think you BiL and wife would becoming knowing that you wouldn't have sorted out and everything would still be untidy. Presumably they have seen yyour furniture and house contents before, what they want to see is the house itself, its situation and the neighbourhood.

Septimia Sun 14-Jul-19 20:16:12

KatyK, you've hit the nail on the head and it looks like others generally agree. After all, if they see the mess now, they'll see the improvement when you've got everything sorted out.

petra Sun 14-Jul-19 20:12:14

If we had waited until everything was done we wouldn't have any friends left to visit us. Having said that many of them did give a hand.
New kitchen
New bathroom
New windows
Bifold doors to to garden
Floor in conservatory raised to match other rooms.
Boiler moved and central heating put in conservatory.
New glass doors between sitting room and conservatory.
All wooden fixtures taken back to original.
See what I mean ?

BlueBelle Sun 14-Jul-19 19:45:57

People who matter won’t expect anything else as you ve only just moved It might be months before you have it in perfect glory, what the heck let them in it’s daft not to

sharon103 Sun 14-Jul-19 18:33:14

Mmm I can see hubby's point of view and on the other side I can see your's. You don't mind people seeing the house the way it is at the moment, in a mess and hubby would rather them see it in it's full glory when all the work has been done. I would be the latter. Maybe he's still stressed having moved house and worn out and just wants a bit of peace at the moment before the tradesmen start. Some can cope with upheaval more than others.

SpringyChicken Sun 14-Jul-19 18:32:59

Have them round, they only want a cuppa and look around. What does it matter if there's mess? Everyone understands.

KatyK Sun 14-Jul-19 18:10:30

I always think those who matter won't mind and those who will mind don't matter. I'd have them come.

Katyj Sun 14-Jul-19 18:06:50

Hi, can you settle an argument here, Dh and me arguing constantly about this at the moment. We moved house three weeks ago, still lots to do , we'll be having lots of tradesmen in over the next few weeks.Two sets of friends have already visited us, no problem it was lovely to see them, but dh brother and wife have asked twice to call in, the first time we were out, the second time dh said no, he didn't want them coming as we were in such a mess, I really can't understand this at all, surley it doesn't matter, not to me anyway.I can't get my head around this, it seems very precious of him, not to want them here.I've said next time they ask, which will probably next week I'm going to tell them the truth. What do you think?