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Does anyone else still feel a bit lost without their Mum?

(138 Posts)
Kandinsky Sat 20-Jul-19 20:22:51

I’m 56 & my Mum passed away 5 years ago, yet I still feel a bit ‘lost’ & uncertain about everything.
My Mum lived to a good age & I know ‘that’s life’ but I just never imagined life without her.

Does anyone else feel the same?

GrammaH Mon 22-Jul-19 09:40:04

My mum died last Tuesday. She was nearly 92 and I'm so sad and so lost. I can't begin to imagine how to cope without her

annsixty Mon 22-Jul-19 09:52:56

How I , along with a few other posters ,envy most of you.
I am only sad and upset for my mother that she was incapable of being in a family with all the love and pleasure that brings .
As for confiding in her and taking problems to her, she would have loved that, using it against me at every opportunity.
Keep all your wonderful memories alive and be so thankful that you have them.

Jani Mon 22-Jul-19 09:57:45

Yes I miss my Mum greatly after 13 years - we were very close - also miss my dear Dad after 2 half years -we were close but got so much closer when Mum died . At first when Mum went my sister and I just ached for her and couldn’t believe we were never going to speak or see them again. I still feel sad after all this time but the saying ‘life goes on’ and ‘time is a great healer’ is really true even though at the time you don’t think it. I always used to phone my parents every day at about six tea time - that’s the worst time for me even now so I fill it with phoning my sister - children or grandchildren - it helps. The pain and the lost feeling does ease after time but there is no real answer to this we all just have to get on with it - sorry I know that sounds harsh x my heart goes out to you all xx

Calendargirl Mon 22-Jul-19 10:01:54

My mum died 15 years ago, aged 92. A life well lived and she was ready to go I think. Even now, when I’m watching something on tv I know she would like, I think I must ring her and tell her to put such and such a channel on.
I get great comfort putting flowers on my grandparents grave, (who I never knew) as Mum’s ashes are in there. It’s a little country churchyard, so peaceful, and I always feel she’s among family, friends and neighbours as it’s where she grew up. “At Rest” is inscribed, and it seems so appropriate.

CarrieAnn Mon 22-Jul-19 11:46:35

My mum lived with us for more than forty years.She was everything to my family,my boys adored her, especially the one with severe learning disabilities.When she died my husband and I had gone out for the day,and our son found her in the garden, she'd been picking plums!.She was 90 when she died,and woul be 101 if she was still alive.After she died, I couldn't bear to take her ashes away,but eventually took them to an airman's memorial where we used to live and scattered her there.It seemed the right thing to do as my father was killed in the war, before I was born,and he was in the R.A.F.I miss her everyday,and when I go to do something which she thought was her job,I can still hear her telling me to sit down.

MissAdventure Mon 22-Jul-19 12:05:08

Sorry for your loss. flowers

Gonegirl Mon 22-Jul-19 12:38:35

Lovely pic Urmstongran.

Lost my mum when I was 19.

GrammaH Mon 22-Jul-19 15:32:14

Thank you misadventure , you're very kind ❤

TwinLolly Mon 22-Jul-19 20:07:58

GrammaH, I'm sorry to read about your mum's passing.

May the wonderful memories of her bring warmth to your heart. I am sure she will be with you in spirit.

Big hugs.


LornaS Wed 24-Jul-19 14:21:22

I lost my Mum 2 years ago at the age of 93. She had dementia for the final 4 years and despite my being nearly 70 when she died I still feel bereft and still miss her so much. We spent much of her last years travelling up to Scotland from Yorkshire to see her every other weekend and although people say it must be a relief not to be doing that I'd gladly have carried on.

MaudLillian Fri 26-Jul-19 23:43:17

Yes. And my grandmothers. I'd give a lot to have just one more day with all of them. Death is so brutally final.

crazyH Fri 26-Jul-19 23:56:38

Reading these threads, I feel so sad. My Mum passed away 23 years ago, soon after that my husband left me and then my beloved brother (father figure) died. I still miss them. But I have a new sadness daughter is always saying "mum, I don't know what I'd do without you". She is divorced, 2 teenage children, who will soon leave home. She has 2 brothers, who have their lives and family. I worry about her so much. She is a complex girl, sweet and loving but very opinionated and always rubs people up the wrong way. Oh well, that's life!