Babysitting

this reminds me of my youngest boy, at 5 years of age, I took him to school, to go to work, he cried, the other ladies told me to get off, and later told me that as soon as I had left, he dried his tears and was very happy,, He is nearly 50 years old now

just saying

Have just read welshwife’s comments and totally agree with them. I looked after one of my grandsons who was a few weeks old in order that his parents could go to a wedding for a few hours that was in a hotel minutes away. He was absolutely fine and I found out years later that his mum cried most of the time, but my son insisted they had that little bit of time to themselves. She said it was the best thing they could have done because it made life a lot easier as the years and more children arrived. My son who had grown up witnessing the children that were happy to stay with us as a childminder and how quickly they settled when mum was out of sight

My grandchildren settled with me fairly easily, but if they were crying and clingy when Mum left I found that it reassured my daughter to send her a photo or short video of the child playing happily soon after she arrived at work. Does depend on the workplace though, may not always be possible.

I had a toddler like this when I was childminding who had never been left with anyone before. I found a walk in the buggy worked well and also just walking around shops seeing strangers shopping helped with socializing. Not to do any shopping but to get used to people being around apart from mum and dad.

I'm also going to be looking after my grandson in November , for 1 1/2 days a week , when DiL goes back to work . We have had him since a new born , for a few hours and also overnight a few times . He still cries when mum leaves , sometimes sobs , but I just tell his mum to say bye , see you later and just go , when she is leaving , then distract him .I know it's tough and upsetting but he will get used to it , you sort of have to weather the storm .....it will improve ?xx good luck x

My friend and I took our two little boys for their first day at playschool; they sobbed and cried pitifully when we left - we both spent a really awful couple of hours, and couldn't wait to get back to collect them. They were both at the window, scarlet faced and sobbing, on our return. We took them back for the second session, as they were both due to start school a few months later, and had the same performance, but the helper suggested we go away for ten minutes and then look through the window. Our two little dramatic performers were running about laughing and happy. This is always a horrible experience but so many good ideas on here to amuse the little one and distract him - I love that laundry basket idea! I'm sure that he will soon be coming happily to your house and will have a store of things to tell his Mum.

Maybe just pop him in his buggy and walk out door with Mum. Then take him for a little walk.

When my son was little, Saturday was 'Grandad day'.
My son would fill his little backpack and wait patiently for my Dad to arrive...often he'd be waiting at 8.00am! He'd be off without a backwards glance and those day's are now really cherished memories for him, he absolutely worshipped my lovely Dad.
Totally off topic but when everything settles, you can enjoy making lovely memories too.

Our little grandson had massive separation issues too but as others have said, tough it out and be near him, soothing him till the crying subsides, distract him. Our DIL would “accidentally” leave a cardigan or something that smelled of her which was a huge comfort to him.

I used to work in a Day Nursery and can confirm what others have said about children crying whilst their parents were leaving but then being quite happy all day until pick up time when the tears started again. One little boy in particular could turn his tears on and off as required - one afternoon his Dad turned up early and spent 15 minutes watching his son playing very happily with the other children. Once he spotted Dad on came the tears - but at least Dad knew he hadn't spent all day like that. Oddly, when he was occasionally dropped off by his Grandma there was no crying at all, he waved her goodbye and trotted in quite happily (maybe he knew it wouldn't work with her)

I know this isn't much help, but my son couldn't wait to see the back of me. He'd stay with anyone and happily wave me bye bye. I was the one who cried.

I know this isn't much help, but my son couldn't wait to see the back of me. He'd stay with anyone and happily wave me bye bye. I was the one who cried.

I know this isn't much help, but my son couldn't wait to see the back of me. He'd stay with anyone and happily wave me bye bye. I was the one who cried.

I dont know if this will help but this is what we do, we babysit our 15 month old ggs every friday, he also doesnt want mum to leave and usually cries, but we have made a little routine, as she is about to leave i take him and we walk her to the door(he is usually still crying) we stand at the door and wave goodbye making a big thing out of see mammy wave to mammy, then see the car, wave to the car and then we play with a toy that is beside the door. It was still upsetting for him for the first 5 or 6 times, but now even though he still cries a little by the time we get to the waving goodbye bit he is fine. Maybe something like this will work for your little one

This community is great never used it before you are all so helpful unfortunately mum and dad are living a hour away from me at the moment until their house has been built which hopefully will be in September.So not that easy for her to keep coming over but we will give all your advice a good go.i think I have learned that I need to build up the time and maybe some earplugs as I can’t bear to hear him sobbing his heart out with real tears.thank you all x

Hi . I imagine you must all feel very worried about this . I expect it’ll blow over but...... and just asking in case no one else has thought about it.
Is your daughter in law 100% happy about going back to work? I only ask just in case she feels pressured ( and I know there’s a tremendous amount of pressure these days). Could be some of her feelings are being transmitted to little one?
By the way, I’m more than happy to be wrong . It’s just that it happened to me as a working mum back in the day. Best wishes .x

As Welshwife has commented often children are better leaving mum, than the other way around - worth a try or is it possible his father could drop him off rather than mum? When I cared for my DG's this was by far the better way, they had no problem with dad leaving them. I ran a pre-school for over 20 years and by far the most difficult children to settle were the boys, but they do - first day is the hardest but eventually they do understand that this is the way it is! Also text mum and send her the odd photo to show how well little one is settling just to reassure her.

Have you tried going to the park with him and your dil, or some other fun place, and then have her walk away whilst you feed the ducks or something? Even a shopping trip where mummy goes into a shop whilst you wait outside on a bench and feed him his lunch or some other distraction but stay in view of the shop doorway and make a fuss when mummy emerges?

Hi Susan, same reassurance from me really; as long as everyone is happy and presents it as an opportunity the child seems to be fine. I used to say oh good are you coming to play and gs mum handed him over in same spirit and he's always fine! However when his Dad got out of my car the other day gs cried as he hadnt understood a change of plan. They had been going to go together. But I sang and he soon joined in as we drove away. I don't care about others seeing or hearing me I just enjoy the fun times!

Put him in the pushchair and take him out straight away to the park or another place where there are similar distractions (toddler group) or, at a last resort, have the tv on for a while. Tell mum not to linger on drop off, or would it actually be better if you did the child minding at her house? After the initial crying and cuddling bit, only pick him up when he STOPS crying, so that is the behaviour you are rewarding

Some really good ideas here and plenty of support. Hope all goes well.

However hard he cries, and it won’t be forever, it’s far better that he cries in his Granny’s arms and your daughter knows that he is safe. Going back to work is very stressful indeed for her. Create a routine for him to comfort him ie: first we will have a piece of toast, then a drink, then we’ll read a favourite book, then we’ll have a push in the pushchair with a favourite teddy...etc

This is a problem that all kindergarten and creche employees know and recognise.

It will take a while before the crying when Mummy leaves stops entirely, but it will once he knows that she will come back.

As others say, let him cry for a while, then have something ready to distract him with - a favourite toy, or get ready to go for a walk with him or adopt BlueBelle's trick. The laundry basket sounds just right.

Can you perhaps have him a couple of times week before September. Firstly for half an hour then gradually increase the time. Let mummy kiss him bye bye saying she will be back soon matter of factly even if he cries. Then he will see her going and know she will come.back. Also before then spend lots of time with him with mummy there so he can see you and mummy are goos friends and she trusts you.
It's hard my granddaughter who is a similar age was the same. But use is happy now for us to look after her for several hours in the day time.
Goos luck!

Distraction. Ice cream. Go for a walk.

15 month old son used to cry until I left the room at nursery. The door would click shut, he'd stop. I'd put my ear to the door, not a sound. I still torment him with this, he's nearly 40.