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am i being unreasonable

(11 Posts)
Sophie22 Wed 07-Aug-19 15:05:06

Here i am again having a moan about my over half we have been together for 19 years and never go out together he says he dosent have a money tree in the garden but has spent and still does spend thousands on our 2 dogs we could of had a world cruise with what he has spent am i being unreasonable or a little bit jealous on how he dotes on them and not me any advice please

EllanVannin Wed 07-Aug-19 15:18:38

I think you had your answer/s when you first posted this ??

Teetime Wed 07-Aug-19 15:31:27

Does he control all the money - if he does that is what needs rectifying first so you can spend some on yourself and going out as you please.

grandtanteJE65 Wed 07-Aug-19 15:37:32

Well, as you seem to have put up with this for 19 years, I am sure your other half does think you are being unreasonable, but you are not.

If the relationship is otherwise good, you could try to discuss limiting the amount spent on the dogs,. If it isn't, perhaps you would consider delivering an ultimatium: Pay more attention to me, or we seperate!

Floradora9 Wed 07-Aug-19 16:22:52

Why not agree to have pots for different things so dogs have a pot as would holidays . We divide up our budget account like this much to our DC's amusement but they do not complain when treated to a meal from the treat fund . Garden , holidays, cars etc. all have thier own funds controlled online .

MawB Wed 07-Aug-19 16:31:09

From what you say here and in your other post Sophie you are clearly unhappy with the status quo
Has communication between the two of you really degenerated this far?

FlexibleFriend Wed 07-Aug-19 16:45:48

Here's a thought why not talk to him.

annep1 Wed 07-Aug-19 17:29:46

I'm sure Sophie has tried talking.
I had a friend like this. She knew she wasn't important to her husband. She envied me being brave enough to start out again on my own. But I was happy, although poorer.

I think she was braver putting up with living with someone who didn't love her and not being happy.
It destroyed her though.
You only get one life

Lessismore Wed 07-Aug-19 17:31:22

Aw, what a shame you need to post again, it's obviously bothering you so much.

Can you talk to a friend?

BlueBelle Wed 07-Aug-19 17:49:47

Why start a new thread why not just add this to your last thread, the advice is still the same
You can’t change anyone else you can only change how you deal with them

FlexibleFriend Wed 07-Aug-19 17:50:35

If you want a divorce see a solicitor, be warned it's not cheap but he'll have no say in whether or not the house is sold. Most divorces are 50/50 split so he'll either have to sell up and split the equity or buy you out. He'll also stand to lose quite a large proportion of any pension he has. You don't even have to talk to hi if you don't want to just get the solicitor to send the papers.