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If this blooming carer....

(65 Posts)
Luckygirl Thu 05-Sep-19 09:41:10

..........does not stop talking I might go mad!!!

She is a live-in and she has talked non-stop like a machine-gun ever since she woke me at 7 to give OH a suppository! Stifled scream icon required here!!

She is going on Saturday!

merlotgran Thu 05-Sep-19 09:43:42

Have you decided on her going away present yet, Luckygirl?

Ear plugs for her next employer?

Bathsheba Thu 05-Sep-19 09:43:49

Oh dear, I hope you manage to hang onto your sanity till then shock

Bathsheba Thu 05-Sep-19 09:44:50

Can you tell her you're very deaf and you've lost your hearing aid? That might shut her up hmm

Bathsheba Thu 05-Sep-19 09:45:14

Erm, maybe not, you'll have her shouting at you then.....

Luckygirl Thu 05-Sep-19 09:48:53

Great suggestions!!!

Love the present comment merlot - I bought her a scarf......now, what could I do with that I wonder??grin

merlotgran Thu 05-Sep-19 09:51:38

The gentle thrum of a washing machine can be very calming. Just remember to leave the room before it goes into spin.

Tangerine Thu 05-Sep-19 10:02:03

Is she otherwise a good carer? If so, why not just politely and kindly ask her if she could talk a little less as you like quiet. If you say you don't mind some conversation, she won't be offended.

Lessismore Thu 05-Sep-19 10:05:21

is this the lady who stayed in her room and wouldn't communicate?

Luckygirl Thu 05-Sep-19 10:05:48

Well - she's going on Saturday and she only does this in bursts - hence the machine-gun analogy!

TBH I don't think she is feeling very well - she has her period - I have had a blow by blow (or should I say drop by drop) account of it!
Also she is leaving because she has chosen to give up caring as a profession and find something new - but she does not know what that something new might be yet, so she is probably feeling a bit wobbly.

She does know she is talking too much and keeps saying "I am talking too much"!

Luckygirl Thu 05-Sep-19 10:06:10

The very same Lessismore!!!!

Lessismore Thu 05-Sep-19 10:12:42

Short term I would kindly but firmly say.....I am a bit tired and I see you are going through some stuff but I need quiet. I have enough to cope with.

My thoughts here are boundaries They are all confused. Perhaps give this some thought before the next person comes and/or take a peek at residential/respite facilities.

Lessismore Thu 05-Sep-19 10:14:12

Could you book a couple of sessions with a therapist to sort this out? Might be money and time well spent.

moggie57 Thu 05-Sep-19 10:19:04

just say oh really ,every time she speaks.

Auntieflo Thu 05-Sep-19 10:24:11

Lucky, I don't think you need a stifled scream emoji, just this
one, full blast. She may get the message 😱

MawB Thu 05-Sep-19 10:29:49

Good point about boundaries and residential "staff" for want of a better word.
She sounds as if she is trying to be friendly and has gone from one extreme to the other.
Grit your teeth and besr this in mind when the new carer comes.
Also bear in mind that your nerves are probably stretched to breaking point and familiarity can so easily breed contempt.
Good luck with the next one!

Luckygirl Thu 05-Sep-19 10:39:00

Thanks - it is a tricky balance between being welcoming and kind, and keeping some space for myself.

Rufus2 Thu 05-Sep-19 11:39:04

She is going on Saturday!
Luckygirl; Can I suggest getting a gentleman carer? I'm sure he would be more empathetic to your problems and give you other things to think about other than feminine ailments? wink

Lessismore Thu 05-Sep-19 12:56:10

I'm sorry to be so blunt Lucky, but God knows you have enough to cope with, without being welcoming and kind. I'm sure you are a fair employer and the person has a nice , clean room. Anything else, really is their business.

Luckygirl Thu 05-Sep-19 14:35:28

The problem is that she started with barely saying a word; and has now migrated to a non-stop chatter - an anxious slightly frenetic chatter, where sentences are not finished, short phrases are left hanging in the air, and most of the time it is hard to know what exactly she is wanting to say.

I am sure it is because she is facing a huge change in her life and everything is uncertain for her. She has neither job nor home to go to when she leaves here. She is going to a youth hostel for as many days as she can, then.....who knows what or where?

It must be very unsettling for her but it is doing my head in!!!!

Lessismore Thu 05-Sep-19 14:38:00

Not your business.

sodapop Thu 05-Sep-19 16:58:09

Don't shoulder her or any other carer's problems Lucky your life is complicated enough without dealing with their worries. Sounds harsh but with new carers keep a bit of distance between you, don't empathise, you are the employer not the therapist.
Hope Mr Lucky had a good birthday .

Luckygirl Thu 05-Sep-19 18:29:16

I have been quite offhand with her when she has been relating her woes - I thought I had done quite well for a former social worker - not that it has sat easily with me, but I could see that I needed a bit of headspace of my own.

But, short of turning my hearing aids off, it is hard not to hear!

Lessismore Thu 05-Sep-19 18:32:56

Can you describe what sort of relationship you would like with the new person?

jura2 Thu 05-Sep-19 18:35:46

am on hols and have not been following on GN - but the last time you said the carer was driving you mad because she was NOT talking? so am confused.