Sad teenagers

I think that about myself sometimes,especially when I go on fb. Although saying that I'm out at various clubs,meeting friends,volunteering.

It's important to tell our teenagers that we too felt that everyone else was allowed to do all the things that we weren't when we were their age.

My mother told me that part of being a teenager is boasting to your friends that you are allowed to wear make-up, stay out late, have a boyfriend or whatever else it is that is cool right now, but that most of them were just telling tall stories.

Most teenagers, whoever beautiful / handsome they are go through phases of feeling ugly, or at the very least that everyone only sees their big nose, flat bosom or whatever feature they are focussing on at the moment. I spent my teenage years convinced that my lower lip was too broad (it isn't) and DH spent his youth convinced everyone noticed his ears (they didn't.)

I am afraid that instagram, snap chat, facebook intensify these feelings as it is so easy to post pictures and everyone wants to be glamourous and have film star celebrity lives these days, if they are teenagers that is.

Our job is to make sure they know we love them, as they are, but discussing what suits a teenage girl seriously with her won't do any harm either, nor will telling her what features we were sad about at her age. Dig out some photos of yourself at your grandchildren's ages and see their reactions. They might well conclude that they are better off then we were!

It's not just your Grandchildren..I still feel like that !!

Doodle 2 siblings and an only child.

It's hard in the education system.
But I was wondering
if your DGS could make friends via his interests with older teenagers or even young adults, when outside school gates.

Does your family have access to autism outreach charity?
I believe that they work with children but not sure about teenagers.
For all our children and grandchildren to live a happy and peaceful life is the top of my wish list.

Thanks cherrytree yes he does have friendships outside of school but casual type of meet-ups. He would not appear autistic to anyone meeting him but has many of the anxieties associated with ASD and finds it difficult to talk to others. I am hoping that as he gets older he will find others easier to deal with. He does have school support but is a strong character so not a walkover for anyone ?

I am surprised at how many grams on GN have grandchildren on the spectrum. Wish there was better provision for them all

The downside of being a Grandparent is you worry all over again.
One of our pre-teen DGC has already been bullied by mobile phone. Luckily her school dealt with it well but if you are gentle, quiet, sensitive and kind you are especially susceptible, I believe

We were lucky in that when at home we had very little contact with our friends and no idea of how their lives were going. After school was a whole different world and weekends were usually spent with family.

My teenage grandson is always on his phone, often in contact with three or four others. It's utterly ridiculous so we often ban it's use for an hour or so. You'd think we'd deprived him of oxygen!

all teenagers should be carefully watched not just the sad ones.My neighbours 17 year old GS committed suicide recently,she and his parents say he was a happy go lucky full of fun boy looking forward to getting his first car.They cant understand why or how they missed signs that it was all a front.Suicide amongst young men is higher now than ever before so we must all be vigilant.What looks like sadness could be something far more serious.

The difficulty with Facebook is people post up the wonderful times they are having, but, who is going to post the bad times in their lives? Not many in my experience. I know people who post up their holidays or places they go but, because I know them well, I know many of the hardships in life they have gone through. Most people do post good stuff as they are not in the main , going to post about their bereavements, ill health etc. The difficulty being that of course it looks like your friends are always having a whale of a time, in their own personal lives, are they really?

paddyann that’s so sad. Lives lost at an early age when they have no idea what the future holds. To be honest I can barely remember my school days and couldn’t name more than about 3 people I went to school with. I was not local so once I left school they were all gone.

It’s not just teenagers. We are all constantly told what fun we should be having socialising and how we should look, or indeed think. Look at Christmas - it’s supposed to be one mad social whirl of parties with us hosting our own wildly successful gathering of friends and family. Ha! I guess the difference is that teenagers haven’t been there before and haven’t the experience to cope with it, though the years can grind the rest of us down.

I always felt my parents were much stricter than other parents, my friends seemed to be allowed to stay out - and go to bed - much later than I was.