Such a bad day - just a weepy heap

So sorry, what an emotional time for you. Maybe comfort yourself, and your DH that you will now have the time and energy to spend enjoyable time together. If you can now have a good night's sleep, you will have the energy to chat and read to DH, to share some good times. You still have a long way to go, but the first step has been made and remember GN runs a 24 hour virtual tea and sympathy service, there is always someone here.

Luckgirl there is nothing I can add to what has been said, I am so very sorry x

My thoughts are with you at this to e,these decisions are never easy. Please take comfort and support from your family.

Oh Luckygirl just caught up with this thread . Nothing to add really, except to say that I am so sorry for you both . It’s a good job none of us know what’s hiding around the corner isn’t it? You have given so much and you don’t deserve to have to make such a heart wrenching decision . I hope you get the strength you need from somewhere. You are in my thoughts xx

Luckygirl sending you virtual hugs ??

Not much more I can say - but do take note of what Annsixty says and bear in mind that with professional care for your DH and the respite it brings you, you may find some peace of mind and that this may reignite your love for each other without the sheer gruelling physical exhaustion you are going through.

Sending love to you xxxx

Hello Luckygirl, just sending good wishes to you and your husband during this awful and unimaginable time. I am sorry there is nothing I can do to help you, except a virtual hug.

When my late husband and I went to India the guide quoted his saying for times of extreme stress, "everything will be alright in the end, if it's not alright, it's not the end". Thinking of you, I will look forward to your next post xx

Luckygirl, like some others, I have just caught up with your thread.
I am so sorry for you, as you have tried so long, and so hard to make the situation work for your DH, and yourself.
But it is now beyond you, and you must give in.
Thankfully your DH has said he understands, and I know your heart is breaking for the decision that has to be made.
You must take care of yourself, as you are absolutely at the end of your tether.
Please take care, as has been said, the GN family are all here for you, so come and off load here.
Bless you and wishing you a calm time for the journey ahead.

A sad and painful day lucky, but hope you come to a decision and get a plan agreed with your husband and the family, hard though that is. Hoping that tomorrow is a little better than today.
Thinking of you and Sending a hug.

So sorry.Wishing you both lots of strength and love xx

Respite and/or care away from the home is not necessarily an ending.

As others have said, a care home would give you both a break and a chance to recover a little. I know the cost is a big concern. See an independent IFA. Ask around for a personal recommendation? Also, get those daughters more involved. This is their parents and they're struggling!

Wise words from annsixty, and she really does understand how hard it is.

Oh Lucky I am so very sad to see you have come to this impossible place in your life. for you, and sending big (((hugs))) to help you out of your weepy heap xx

Do it for both of you. You can then give him the very best of yourself without feeling worn out, distracted and on the verge of depression.
You've done it all and can do no more.
Be kind to yourself before you break your own health.
???☘

Lucky don’t forget how well OH coped with Respite , and don’t beat yourself up about it , you need some care for yourself . I hope you find a lovely place where you can visit and spend time with him , not worn out and fed up but enjoy whatever time you both have left

everything will be all right in the end, if it's not all right, it's not the end

I seem to remember that from a film, wasn’t it the manager in The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel?

So sorry that you are all going through such an awful time. My brother went into care a few months ago. My sister in law felt so guilty but he took to it very well. That upset her too as she thought she hadn’t done enough for him at home. There are so many raw emotions going around, do take care.

Sometimes the most difficult decision is the right one lucky, so many sensible thoughts here. It does feel time for the professionals to provide the care and for you to go back to being a wife, sending love to you both.

So sorry, just hope that everything goes ok, and am sure you are making the right decision.

Nothing useful I can add, but try not to be hard on yourself, as you are doing your very best.

Luckygirl a very sad situation no wonder you are weepy.

I think you also have to admit that you have reached the crossroads and your head must now choose the right path.

Your DH would have 24 hour care and you would get some much needed rest.

Your husband will enjoy cheerful visits from yourself, family and friends.

Sending kindest thoughts

I am so sorry to read this Luckygirl. What an awfully sad situation for you, especially as your dear OH has lucid moments and wants to treasure them with you.

It is heartbreaking. It must hurt so much. I do feel for you all at such a very sad stage in your relationship. Do cry those tears and seek support from your family. This is an awful time for your OH, but so, so hard for you too. Sending loving thoughts your way.

So sorry Lucky sometimes you just have to let your feelings out, have a good cry then see what's to be done. I agree with others who say you will have more relaxed quality time with your husband in residential care. You will also have a peaceful home to retreat to.
These decisions are never easy, you have my sympathy.