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Such a bad day - just a weepy heap

(314 Posts)
Luckygirl Tue 17-Sep-19 16:41:26

Having a really bad time today. Just having serious discussions with family and OH about him going to a nursing home - it is getting to the point where we are struggling to maintain his care at home even with live-in. He grasps that too in his non-paranoid moments. He said he understood but would "treasure every moment" he has left at home with me. That broke my heart. It is unbearable - watching him falling to pieces before my eyes. I really just don't think I can deal with this today - I have no reserves left. And no privacy to be a temporary weeping heap. Just don't know where to turn.

M0nica Mon 30-Sep-19 19:08:45

Luckygirl I am glad that a solution acceptable to all has been reached. These crisis times are so difficult, but you had to protect yourself as well as look after your DH.

I am sure you will quickly fall into a new routine, knowing that your DH is being looked after qualified people trained for the job.

Jane10 Mon 30-Sep-19 19:38:17

This is wonderful to hear. I've been worrying!
Sounds so encouraging. Just need a premium bond win!

PageTurner Mon 30-Sep-19 21:47:26

*Luckygirl*, I've been reading your posts all along, and thinking of you and your DH.
I'm so happy that you have found a very good care home for him and that he seems to be settling in with very few issues.
My best to you both.??

cornergran Mon 30-Sep-19 23:20:14

Your last post is so heartening to read*lucky*, you do sound lighter. It sounds the best of beginnings. Sleep well. You deserve to and my love to you all, it’s been a hard road.

BradfordLass72 Tue 01-Oct-19 05:20:02

I'm reli3ved to hear that the Big Move has finally taken place with very little drama. What a huge relief it will be to you and all the family, Lucky.

No doubt this is what Billy Connolly's family are facing too, so a good choice of reading matter.

Time now to get yourself well again flowers

kittylester Tue 01-Oct-19 06:11:41

Good news lucky, I hope you are getting some time to rest.

Luckygirl Tue 01-Oct-19 15:30:28

He is settling in; and does not get distressed when I leave, which is a huge relief. He is very sleepy and very weak, but thankfully not unhappy.

gillybob Tue 01-Oct-19 16:15:18

That is so good to hear Lucky and must be a huge relief and comfort to you and your family . I hope you can get some well earned rest and let yourself be “cared for” for a change .

grannyqueenie Thu 03-Oct-19 00:31:28

Good to read that the move went well and that your dh is settling in. Sighs of relief all round for you all, especially that he’s not upset when you leave. Hopefully you’ll start to feel the benefit in your own health and well-being, lucky

Luckygirl Thu 03-Oct-19 16:02:38

Thank you.

Once I can get the finances sorted I will be able to relax - well, I say relax, but sorting the finances could include selling this bungalow, so I doubt that will be particularly relaxing!

Just back from the nursing home and he is fine - showered, been to the on-site hairdresser, had lunch with a glass of shandy, been visited by the GP nurse practitioner etc. Now off to sleep for a bit. Nights are difficult because of pain and also paranoia, but someone comes and sits with him when he is feeling bad. All good there so far.

GrannySomerset Thu 03-Oct-19 16:06:40

Hope all this means your own sleep patterns are becoming more normal and that you are a bit less stressed, though the thought of having to move can’t be helping. I think of you often and hope you can feel,happier.

Ginny42 Thu 03-Oct-19 16:21:35

Glad he's getting such excellent care. You couldn't have gone on very much longer trying to do everything yourself. It's impossible for one person to do the work of a team of experts. You have chosen well and hope you can find a solution to the finances which is best for you. Take care. x

Auntieflo Thu 03-Oct-19 16:30:52

Luckygirl I am so glad that you finally found a caring, comfortable home for your DH, and that he seems happy to be there. The relief must be immense. I do hope that your finances can be dealt with and sorted out satisfactorily, without having to sell your home.
I seem to remember when you were looking for it, if I remember correctly, and that you were so pleased with it.
Like others, I hope you are now a bit more rested, after all the hoops that you had to jump through.
Take care.