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Christmas Day without family!

(68 Posts)
inthewrongroom Sat 28-Sep-19 17:23:12

I would like to spend this day without family.
Don't get me wrong, I love my kids etc and I absolutely LOVE all of the build-up; making the house look festive and all the lovely aromas and so on and so forth but ... I put in a great deal of effort and they always expect me to do this and I do love it too - so you may ask "why"?
I am single and have a 20 yr old daughter who still lives with me and an independent older son (and believe me I am not one of those "yummy-mummy's). They will do all their things on the Eve (as I would absolutely expect and encourage) and begga off on the day leaving me with 2 grumpy cats and extremely poor TV (yes, I still have TV) to keep me company.
I do not need to find a man, do salsa classes, knit or indeed any such pass-times that are supposedly de rigueur. I do not have oodles of money in order to book into a posh hotel and believe me I would actually prefer to fly off to Greece or Turkey and spend my day dabbling my toes in the sea than spend it dressed up at a dinner table eating over cooked food for the masses). I do not really know what I am asking here .. but surely I cannot be alone in my thinking??

Missiseff Wed 02-Oct-19 13:51:22

Sarah65, not when your Son's disowned you and your Daughter only wants to be with her partner there isn't.

Witzend Tue 01-Oct-19 14:43:24

Oh, eazybee, that reminded me of a Christmas back in the 90s, not long after the P and P series was first aired - and dh had bought me the box set - still videos then.

Dds and I, plus dh, binge-watched the whole thing on Chr. Day evening. Dh had been completely unfamiliar with Jane A but happily admitted to being hooked!

Since then dds and I have watched it over and over - and it's a standing joke that if we ever went on Mastermind, our special subject would be who said what to whom and when, in P and P. ?

Daisyboots Tue 01-Oct-19 14:13:52

* Terrym* I remember Christmas 1968 when we were living in Australia and my Mum had flown over to visit us it was so cold that my Mum had to wear some of my winter clothes. The next day we went to visit friends for the day and they had lit the fire. This was in South Australia. Yet when Mum got the flight home one lady, who had also been staying in Adelaide, said what a marvellous hot Christmas day they had had and even had a barbecue on the beach because it was so hot.

eazybee Mon 30-Sep-19 10:55:42

When my daughter lived at home and my son spent Christmas with his girlfriend and her family we had an alternative Christmas: a walk in lovely sunny weather, a Thai meal mainly prepared by my daughter, eaten in small portions throughout the day, and watched a selection of Christmas films and the entire 'Pride and Prejudice' series.
On Boxing Day, first time ever, we hit the sales, refreshed!

GrannySomerset Mon 30-Sep-19 09:33:37

Since I posted early in this thread DD has asked if we mind them going away for Christmas as they have had a difficult few months. Needless to say I was suggesting they do this before she had finished her introductory sentence! Now for DS and his more complicated family set up ......

craftyone Mon 30-Sep-19 09:25:02

It is just too long these days. It used to be christmas day and boxing day, then back to work until new years day. People could cope with that. It is endless now, probably the worst time of the year for widows and single people, no-where to go for a pop out, breaking routine, visit. Shops are crowded and still clad in christmas decor. No wonder people go on cruises and the like, as though when they wake up, it will all be over

Witzend Mon 30-Sep-19 09:22:05

I must be odd, since I've never minded cooking Chr. dinner, though I don't do the lots of different veg/3 sorts of,potatoes some people go in for, so it's just a glorified roast. And for many years we haven't had dinner until around 5, which means a much more relaxed day for the cook.

Last year we had a houseful, inc. 2 little Gdcs, which was lovely. This year I expect we'll be at a dd's - she'll be heavily pregnant with no. 3 and not wanting to be far from the hospital, so I dare say I'll be telling her to put her feet up and doing much of the cooking.

Years ago when we were living in the Middle East, where the weather was lovely at Christmas (vile in summer!) we invited my ILs to come. My poor Mil had been cooking every Christmas for 12+ for 40 years! She straightaway jumped at the idea. FiL OTOH grumbled that he couldn't possibly leave the house at Christmas, what if the pipes froze (in London so hardly likely!) etc. Etc.

Good old Mil said, 'Well you can do what you like - I'm going!'
Of course he came in the end and enjoyed himself.

Bridgeit Mon 30-Sep-19 09:00:30

Totally get where you are coming from, go for it , best wishes.

Sara65 Mon 30-Sep-19 08:59:11

Tea3

It’s the drink that does it, and having to be nice to everyone!

Tea3 Mon 30-Sep-19 08:57:31

'I would like to spend this day without family'. Sounds wonderful! Always, always someone manages to throw a mood or a tantrum (I'm talking about adults) and poison the atmosphere. I hate Christmas!

Gonegirl Sun 29-Sep-19 20:52:57

namaste that is such a lovely post. Far too early I know, but I wish you a good one.

TheReadingRoom Sun 29-Sep-19 19:03:39

As our 2 sons have emigrated to opposite ends of the earth, we don't have this problem! So OH cooks a nice meal and we have a quiet day - bliss.
VERY different from when he was newsagent, working late on Christmas Eve and up early [4.30am] on Boxing Day to sort the newspapers and open up the shop. Working in retail killed our our Christmases for years.

sarahellenwhitney Sun 29-Sep-19 18:48:45

Sad biddy I may be but the highlight of my xmas is the cringe worthy seasonal ads we have suffered for what seems an eternity will be put to rest in the advertiser archives.

CBBL Sun 29-Sep-19 16:05:44

My hubby and I normally spend Christmas by ourselves. We live in a rural location, and due to one disastrous Christmas when we had no electricity at all (in an all electric house) - we now cook a traditional Christmas Dinner on Christmas EVE. Relatives are welcome to join us and sometimes my niece, who actually lives in London, will do so! Christmas Day, we go to Church, eat easily prepared Party food (cold cuts, salad, nibbles, Pizza even!) open presents and choose a film to watch. If the weather is reasonable (not snowing or a blizzard) we might have a run out to the coast (It's not far from us, on the east coast). We will speak to our nearest relatives on Christmas morning, and catch up with others later. I thoroughly enjoy buying the smaller children presents and we always have a tree (which the cats enjoy enormously!).

Sara65 Sun 29-Sep-19 15:45:52

Mississeff

It’s only one day out of 365, plenty of other time for family get togethers

Tylermor1 Sun 29-Sep-19 15:42:05

Me and my DH are having Christmas alone this year . 2 daughters both pregnant due January and neither want to travel or a big Christmas meal . Happy to go with their decision as Christmas 2020 will be one to look forward to

Missiseff Sun 29-Sep-19 15:02:14

My husband and I spent last Christmas Day by ourselves and it was the worst day ever. My Son had cut me out of his life a month earlier, despite him telling me when him and his gf got the keys to their first house together a few months earlier that both sets of parents would be going to them and I would be cooking it. My Daughter and her partner wanted to be on their own again, as they had been the previous year, so it was us on our own and incredibly painful. We spend all year eating on our own and Christmas is meant for families to be together. It always had been and I loved that about it. Now I'm dreading it again and seeing things in the shops physically hurts. I can't understand why anyone would want to be on their own. It was one of the worst experiences of my life and I am dreading it this year.

Washerwoman Sun 29-Sep-19 14:39:51

In the past 40 years I've hosted and cooked the Xmas meal for anything between 9 to 16 people.We used to have a bigger house ,and can still seat 8 comfortably now.But in recent years I have enjoyed Xmas less - the build up starts too early,and although a competent cook I'm ready to hand the baton on . I had suggested if DH and I hosted again I would like to plonk a huge lasagne on the table after a walk to the pub ,rather than spend half the day in the kitchen.That was enough to cause uproar as they all want a traditional roast,but got a good result because DD who lives nearby said she would do it.All I'm required to make is the red cabbage everyone loves. So now I'm actually looking forward to it.And will keep all other meals whilst family staying simple .
Years ago we went away with DHs parents and his sister's family and had separate accomodation in the same lovely place with beach walks for the dogs and a restaurant meal on Xmas day.That worked well and if we can afford it may consider that in the future.Otherwise I love being in our own home fir Xmas.Just less cooking please!

crazyH Sun 29-Sep-19 13:24:42

I haven't done Xmas at home for years. I go to youngest son's house. D.i.l. is an inclusive type of girl - the more, the merrier. My divorced daughter and her kids are also invited. We hardly do a thing, but we contribute to her Xmas shopping at Costco, the previous week. She has a very efficient mum and dad who organise everything. We just go and enjoy .

Merryweather Sun 29-Sep-19 13:11:12

I think I really like the idea of going away for Christmas. I might suggest to Mr Merryweather that we do just that.
I've had huge Christmas day do's for the children and grandparents over the years to take the strain from my elderly relatives. However by 3/4 I'm shattered and stuffed full- a nap or break is needed. However guests want drinks topping, food food and more food made and I never sit down let alone enjoy the day. I barely see my girls because I'm in the kitchen.
I genuinely would love a much lower key Christmas. Even by a UK coast and pop to the beach to toe dip - freeze.

Tickledpink Sun 29-Sep-19 12:53:05

We were exhausted after last Christmas, maybe age has something to do with it after having done it for years! So this year we are going away, just the two of us and we looking forward to it.

Urmstongran Sun 29-Sep-19 12:52:38

How do you manage to afford all that ‘Bucks Fizz for the bath’ namaste? Doesn’t it leave you a little sticky?
??

grapefruitpip Sun 29-Sep-19 12:35:15

if you are considering volunteering, get your name down early!
Many places are full of people who want to opt out of the spendfest.

sarahellenwhitney Sun 29-Sep-19 12:32:14

inthewrongroom
I don't suppose you are alone in your thinking but appears to me from your comments that it's YOU, and I quote 'they expect me to do it' that has stopped YOU in the past from beggaring off.Why? do you owe them something?
Plenty of time to make arrangements so get started and enjoy a festive season of your choosing.

Eva2 Sun 29-Sep-19 12:13:09

How about suggesting to your daughter you have a "give back " Christmas. The 2 of you volunteer at a homeless shelter? Or go to friends for Christmas lunch? If neither of those are an option, l think you are stuck till she leaves home.
My kids took over Christmas 5yrs ago, l loved having nothing to do. But lm taking it back this year. Why? Because lve missed it ! Strange but true.