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Christmas Day without family!

(67 Posts)
inthewrongroom Sat 28-Sep-19 17:23:12

I would like to spend this day without family.
Don't get me wrong, I love my kids etc and I absolutely LOVE all of the build-up; making the house look festive and all the lovely aromas and so on and so forth but ... I put in a great deal of effort and they always expect me to do this and I do love it too - so you may ask "why"?
I am single and have a 20 yr old daughter who still lives with me and an independent older son (and believe me I am not one of those "yummy-mummy's). They will do all their things on the Eve (as I would absolutely expect and encourage) and begga off on the day leaving me with 2 grumpy cats and extremely poor TV (yes, I still have TV) to keep me company.
I do not need to find a man, do salsa classes, knit or indeed any such pass-times that are supposedly de rigueur. I do not have oodles of money in order to book into a posh hotel and believe me I would actually prefer to fly off to Greece or Turkey and spend my day dabbling my toes in the sea than spend it dressed up at a dinner table eating over cooked food for the masses). I do not really know what I am asking here .. but surely I cannot be alone in my thinking??

GrannySomerset Sat 28-Sep-19 17:43:35

Our children cannot believe me when I say that we would be happy to spend a quiet day rather than cope with the hoohah of them travelling to us and me providing beds and meals for what feels like several days. I am too bossy to relinquish control of my kitchen (and it would take weeks before I could find everything again!), but do find it all too strenuous now that we have teenage grandchildren who would, understandably, prefer to be with their friends and contemporaries.

Am I being difficult?

downtoearth Sat 28-Sep-19 17:58:34

Have volunteered at local community centre,for those alone through choice or circumstance.
Resident GD,will volunteer with me if not working as a carer on the day.

Have very small family,all with nuclear families/ in laws, and as a newly single person, from a long term relationship, can see that I would be the cause of " what shall we do about...."

E if she has no other plans, and I will quietly celebrate later in the day

Sara65 Sat 28-Sep-19 18:27:42

Yes, I get you. I like the build up to Christmas, I love decorating the house and the trees, I don’t even really spending a small fortune on presents.

But I don’t like the actual day! We have been up to fifteen before, all that endless cooking on our temperamental old Aga, endless towels and bedding, a ton of wrapping paper, not a seconds time to myself all day, playing games, reading stories, assembling toys, all with a big smile!

So for the last few years we’ve done it differently, Christmas Day is just us, go to the coast for a walk, eat what we like, anyone and everyone are welcome on Boxing Day, but we love having Christmas to ourselves.

morethan2 Sat 28-Sep-19 18:29:16

After 44 years of cooking for everyone else I’d love a simple Christmas. I doubt it’ll happen. Your right it’s the shopping, making beds and the cleaning that exhaust me.

lemongrove Sat 28-Sep-19 18:43:40

Yes, I understand inthewrongroom but your daughter still lives with you and no doubt enjoys Mum being there and the house all Christmassy.You could do a different menu, something easy that you all like?
When they go out put your feet up and read if nothing on tv, or play your favourite music?
I make Christmas happen ( for want of a better phrase) for some extended family on the day, they love it and come every year , even though I would like a quiet time too.But in the end, they are family and it is Christmas.When they leave I curl up with a book and a large Baileys.

Thingmajig Sat 28-Sep-19 19:08:09

Absolutely! I had an nightmare of a Christmas last year due to being sick, having the aged mother to stay, cooking dinner 24th and 25th and nobody actually helping out at all. So this year I really want to go away and have a nice quiet time. A wee cottage sounds perfect!
The husband however doesn't want to miss seeing the grandkids get their presents etc. We live in the same town and see them several times every week.
I'm wondering should I just go ahead and book somewhere and go alone if it comes to it?

Daddima Sat 28-Sep-19 19:19:16

We’ve gone away for the last ten years or so, and love the Spanish way of celebrating. Sadly, the Bodach has Alzheimer’s, so I’m not risking an airyplane! I’m thinking of Paris on Eurostar, but we’ll need to wait and see.

Doodledog Sat 28-Sep-19 19:30:02

My sister feels the same as you, and has five children and lots of grandchildren, so when she still had some living at home she ordered in a takeaway from the local Indian restaurant, as they don't celebrate Christmas and are glad of the custom. With so many children, getting a takeaway was a real treat and everyone loved it.

All of them have left now, and take it in turns to host at their own homes, but they remember the curry Christmases fondly.

Sara65 Sat 28-Sep-19 19:42:42


A word of warning, we decided to go away one Christmas, headed off, hoping for a lovely restful time.

After a couple of days, started feeling in the wrong place, and drove home on Christmas Eve morning!

Sometimes, you’ve just got to be at home!

sodapop Sat 28-Sep-19 20:05:34

Downtoearth had a good suggestion, help at a local centre or other voluntary organisation then have some treats lined up for yourself later. A new book, DVD, music, and your favourite tipple then relax and enjoy. Nothing better.

GagaJo Sat 28-Sep-19 20:14:04

I've had a couple of nice Christmases.

1, I went abroad. Just me and the old bloke. Not a posh hotel, just Spain, BUT it was sunny and nice. I sunbathed in warm sun on Christmas Day, with a good book by a quiet pool. Bliss.

2, Again, just me and the old bloke. At my house this time, because on xmas eve I'd had an op. He brought the food. It was quiet and nice.

3, Me, daughter and Chinese friends, when I was working in China. Nice. Low key. Cats.

That's about it really. I don't mean to be ungrateful. All the family xmases in the past AND last year with my grandson's first xmas. But I don't like the season and the less I have to do with it the better.

GagaJo Sat 28-Sep-19 20:14:42

Oh yes, and one year when I volunteered at the local homeless centre, waitressing. That was good, too.

Deedaa Sat 28-Sep-19 20:56:32

DD was born at the beginning of December and my mother assured me that we wouldn't want to come out with a new baby on Christmas Day. Can't remember what we ate, presumably turkey and of course there wasn't much to be seen on TV in those days. By tea time we were so fed up we rang and begged to be allowed to come over for tea and christmas cake!

Witzend Sun 29-Sep-19 08:57:34

OP, I don't think either the Greek or Turkish sea would be exactly warm at Christmas!

I've heard of plenty of people who'd really love a quiet Christmas Day on their own, eating and doing whatever they feel like - only to have various friends/relatives saying in shocked tones, 'You can't possibly be all on your own at Christmas!' - and pressuring them with invitations. Which then have to be very politely fended off.

Barmeyoldbat Sun 29-Sep-19 09:28:38

I can't remember the last time we had Christmas with the family 30 or 40 years ago?

I am like Sara, if at home we go out for a walk or bike ride, eat what we fancy and dod what we want. We phone the the family and wish them all well and thats it. Sometimes we might share a Christmas da meal with like minded friends. but no fuss.
Spent 1 years going abroad for Christmas and that I enjoyed

TerryM Sun 29-Sep-19 09:33:12

A few years ago we decided to have a cold Xmas ( I am from Aust )
So the three of us went to London and son went to his girlfriend's , now wife , flat after having had breakfast with us on Christmas morn.
Nope hot and muggy as it is...Xmas day at home is nice
This first year of having a grandchild and will probable be spent at his place
Not sure about Xmas decs if just for husband and I

optimist Sun 29-Sep-19 09:33:17

Happy to be on my own over christmas. No problem. I hate the idea of children and grandchildren feeling that they have to keep me company.

lovebeigecardigans1955 Sun 29-Sep-19 09:39:23

As a widow it is expected that I go to my sister's for Christmas Day and I rather like it. She's just a few streets away, I usually take a bottle of booze and provide a quiz and a small prize.
Two of her sons have left home now and the youngest has a girlfriend who may go to her mum's.
It'll be interested to see what happens in future.
I used to think I'd like the big day on my own but now I'm not sure. It seems a bit miserable.
I certainly don't blame any of you for craving peace and quiet and wanting to put your feet up without all the faff.

Quizzer Sun 29-Sep-19 09:50:06

Please don't go to Greece or Turkey, its far to cool for toe dabbling in December. Canaries are your best bet smile

namaste Sun 29-Sep-19 10:03:47

Good morning all, well Christmas have done all the variations on Christmas Day hard work ones alone ones not sure what is going to happen this Christmas 🎄 should be going to my daughter married with three children under 10 children not a problem just the daughter sadly but that’s life, so definitely not going so as it stands at the moment it will be Tod slone one, have been alone before but had my little dog then sadly passed away, but I make the best of it Buck’s Fizz in the bath nice breakfast walk at the beach back for a nice Christmas lunch if I wish to leave the dishes till next day I can good bottle of wine and watch TV and no hassle, you have to make the best of what you have and be thankful
Have a good one 🎄

Theoddbird Sun 29-Sep-19 10:11:58

I always vowed never to be passed around as my mother was....the children taking it in turns to have her for Christmas. I put my foot down a few years ago and ordered Christmas in a box from Waitroise. I spent a lovely day on my own. I got a couple of brilliant Christmas dvds and had a relaxing day. I have yet to spend Christmas Day on my boat home. I am determined to do it this year... I say do what YOU want on Christmas Day...relax and enjoy

Legs55 Sun 29-Sep-19 10:14:54

My DM has Christmas Day on her own & has for several years, she treats herself to lots of her favourite expensive foods.

Since being widowed 7 years ago I go to DD's, first year I stayed with her as I lived too far away to go for the day, the magic of 3 year old outside my door at 5.30 whispering "Nanny are you awake?"

Since I moved closer to DD I go over about 9.30/10.00, we chat, open presents, have a lovely Lunch. By 3.00/3.30 I'm on my way home to relax, snack, watch tv, whatever I want. Bliss

Chestnut Sun 29-Sep-19 10:18:45

Happy to be on my own over christmas. No problem. I hate the idea of children and grandchildren feeling that they have to keep me company.
optimist that sounds rather sad. Fine if you really don't mind being alone, but grandparents sitting in on the family mayhem is part of the day. We always had my parents over and it wouldn't have been the same without them.

ayse Sun 29-Sep-19 10:21:48

Some years ago DH and I went to Madeira for Christmas. It was beautiful although I did miss a good roast. The centre of Funchal has a festival with tableaux round the streets and a real Christmassy feel.

I’m very easy going about Christmas and go with the flow. It just depends on who is around and what we agree on. Just enjoy whatever you choose to do.