Gransnet forums


True or False

(57 Posts)
annsixty Mon 30-Sep-19 10:48:12

That vast numbers of posters on GN, including me I add, are motivated by jealousy?
I had always thought of myself as a caring and compassionate person.
How wrongly we see ourselves.

GrannyGravy13 Mon 30-Sep-19 10:49:42

I know what you are referring to annsixty, you do not seem to be a jealous person in my opinion x

kittylester Mon 30-Sep-19 10:51:50

I dont know what you are referring to ann but I would say you arent!

Ilovecheese Mon 30-Sep-19 10:55:11

You have never seemed to be the jealous sort to me either annsixty
These accusations of envy appear to me to be a way of shutting down discussion when any ideas for a fairer society are mentioned.
It is as if some people are unwilling to believe that anyone could have any other motive than self interest, perhaps because that is the way they operate themselves.

Witzend Mon 30-Sep-19 11:01:57

Must say that has never occurred to me. Certainly not in connection with you, OP.

What has occurred to me, though, is that some people just really enjoy having a safe, anonymous, rather nasty go at other people. I think you get a few on most forums, though the worst I've known is a largely male one.

I often see them as the sort of people who'd never dare (or dream of) saying such things to a person's face.

Could be wrong, though! I have an aunt who prides herself on 'speaking her mind' - no matter how hurtful or upsetting that may be. And I dare say there are plenty like her.

Bridgeit Mon 30-Sep-19 11:04:46

I don’t think it can be as binary as True or False,, although I do believe it is an emotion we all share. The variants in everyone’s lives will surely influence what we are jealous of & from that we can work out why we are jealous & from that revelation we can understand & admit to it deal with it & keep it in its place. When we become consumed with it, the only person it truly harms is ourselves.
We can Accept feeling a little jealous as normal , but should seek help if it becomes an overriding emotion.

Bridgeit Mon 30-Sep-19 11:07:03

Ps. Don’t be hard on yourself, it’s ok to feel a bit grhhhh on some days. 💐

Ilovecheese Mon 30-Sep-19 11:15:35

But what is happening is that posters are accusing other posters of being envious or jealous, with no evidence, except for their own inbuilt prejudice against anyone who would like a little more equality in society.

KatyK Mon 30-Sep-19 11:19:32

I don't think I understand this thread.

Bridgeit Mon 30-Sep-19 11:26:10

Annsixty, in real life when we have a conversation with another person , we have the added tools of seeing body language, hearing tone of voice , eye contact etc.
With only the written word to go by we are less able to judge accurately what the other person’s meaning is. But even on saying that some words Can only have one meaning😄

Marydoll Mon 30-Sep-19 11:29:28

I don't understand this thread, but what I will say is that you come across as a very kind and caring person, Anne.

It's so easy to hide behind the anonymity of GN to have a go at someone, I bet you those posters wouldn't dare to do so in real life.

I know it's easy for me to say, but try and ignore it.
I love hearing about others' lives and certainly don't get envious.

KatyK Mon 30-Sep-19 11:34:03

I second your post Marydoll

annsixty Mon 30-Sep-19 11:46:00

Please note this is not just about me, I am embarrassed.
It is, do you think vast numbers of posters are motivated in their posts by jealousy?

KatyK Mon 30-Sep-19 11:50:38

It's never occurred to me to be honest. Speaking personally, I'm not jealous of anyone. I'm just trying to get through a quite difficult life. This forum has helped me in many ways.

lemongrove Mon 30-Sep-19 11:53:47

Do you mean jealousy or envy, two different emotions.

lemongrove Mon 30-Sep-19 11:55:32

If you really mean envy annsixty then I would say it does shine through some posters comments on GN but perhaps not vast numbers.

annsixty Mon 30-Sep-19 12:02:41

The statemnt made was jealousy Lemongrove you posted on the thread, I am surprised you did not see it.

dragonfly46 Mon 30-Sep-19 12:07:28

ann I have just read the thread and no I do not think you were motivated by jealousy, quite the opposite in fact.
As I said before many people on that thread are too attached to their bandwagons.
I second what Marydoll said.

SueDonim Mon 30-Sep-19 12:10:59

I'm baffled by this thread. Can someone give me a clue as to what it refers to, please?

Elegran Mon 30-Sep-19 12:16:46

Jealousy is used so often when the strictly accurate word would be envy that the two are now interchangeable to mean "wanting what someone else has but you haven't, and resenting that they have it". It is clear what the OP meant.

Oddly enough, envy isn't used to replace the strict meaning of "jealousy", which is "being afraid someone will take away what you have, and guarding it fiercely"

MawB Mon 30-Sep-19 12:17:14

It was a ridiculous accusation especially as while we may not know you in RL , nobody can be unaware of your dedication to your DH and the anguish you have been through.
Actually somebody should have the “education” to apologise for her lack of manners , let alone “impartiality”

annsixty Mon 30-Sep-19 12:18:51

It is not in the rules to start a thread about a thread.
I was called jealous of other people richer than myself and that vast numbers of posters are similarly motivated.I asked it that was the general opinion.
I will admit to envy, I envy those in my circle who have their much loved husbands still part of their lives.

SueDonim Mon 30-Sep-19 12:28:22

How unkind, Annsixty. sad I don't 'know' you that well but I do know you've endured a lot and you always seem so courageous about your circumstances.

I often think that people who make such accusations are telling us more about themselves than the person their remarks are aimed at.

Farmor15 Mon 30-Sep-19 13:01:00

I read a lot of posts on Gransnet, but only post now and then. I certainly wouldn't agree that vast numbers of posters are motivated by jealousy, but maybe I don't read the relevant threads. I do think that some posters like to boast - but I just ignore those.

Elegran Mon 30-Sep-19 13:01:46

People post online things they wouldn't say face to face. They get away with accusations and name-calling that would earn them a punch on the nose in real life. Just ignore it, annsixty and don't let it goad you to descend to acting on the same level. You can always imagine yourself administering that punch on the nose - or, better still, your late husband landing it with his larger fist and more powerful muscles.