Just me?

It's not your children's responsibility to make you happy.
You are responsible for your own happiness.
They will make mistakes and have problems as do most people and as adults, they will find ways to solve their own problems...or ask for help.
Meanwhile, get a life for yourself and focus on meeting other people.
It's not good or healthy to live in your children's 'pockets', so to speak.
You brought them into this world and gave them the tools to live their lives independently.
Now...let them get in with it.
Love them but don't live and breathe their lives and problems.

in on

I understand you completely polly and who ever said you’re only ever as happy as your unhappiest child had it in one
When people ask how things are apart from close friends I say ‘fine all good’ whether it is or it isn’t but it’s only natural to be concerned about things we can’t change for them
Try to keep it in perspective and not get drawn into their unhappiness but I think many of us live through our loved ones lean times wishing we had a magic wand If we didn’t we would be selfish hearted people

It's not your children's responsibility to make you happy

No. But it's not unreasonable to expect adult children to have a care for their kindness.

Think it's called love.

One of mine is doing fine. Another is doing fine in her life but never seems really happy. The other one is doing nothing much at all, driving me mad, but is happy as Larry.

Shrug.

My post before the last one should have said happiness not kindness.

#agingbrain

As other posters have mentioned, perhaps other people say "doing OK" and don't go into details of all their worries.

I am like that. Occasionally I might mention a worry I have about my children or anything else but I usually keep quiet and present a positive front. Perhaps that could be called deceitful or secretive but it's how I cope.

Mine tend to call me to unload a worry, leaving me to worry in their place. Next time I hear from them they've forgotten all about the worry and can't understand why I worried about it. Is that clear?

I worry about my daughter, who does not seem at all to be set up for life. But mainly in relation to my GS, who as she is a single parent, will be totally reliant on her once I'm no longer around.

As for her state of mind, I'm afraid I largely shut off my 'worry' mode. My own life is stressful enough. I can't take on board her stuff too, I'd have a nervous breakdown. It does sound selfish I know, but given that she and the GS rely on me financially, it benefits her really that I'm OK.

I do suffer from anxiety, and, without going in to details, have had, and do have, reasons for fearing more of the worst, but yes, my anxiety does maximise everything. I have to work on that at the same time I have to wonder, legitimately, what next for heaven's sake>

Oh dear. I hear you.

Thanks, all. I think I have two issues here. One is them - having such a variety of problems that seem to keep happening, and one is me - my own seemingly atutomatic panic mode way of dealing with these things. Sigh.

Remember that those who are giving glowing reports about their offspring may be putting the best gloss on things or even lying through their teeth for appearance's sake.

I am pleased to say that my 3 are all OK.

I'm not lying or putting a gloss on. Lip or otherwise

However there has been times when things haven't been OK, especially with my eldest and I worried myself silly.

So I think it's quite normal for you to fret.