Good morning from the NE coast where we have had torrential rain.
I hope you don’t mind me sharing this morning .
The doctors are telling me that they feel that they may finally have the infections under control (heard that several times before mind you) so they decided to “take a leap in the dark” (their words not mine) on Friday and slowly took down the sedation allowing DH to wake up.
The first thing he became aware of was the tube in his neck and the various other tubes and wires in his neck, nose and arms which is apparently very common and there is a high risk that they might try and pull them out. I was trying to let him touch them by guiding his hands whilst reassuring him that they were there to make him better. I am not sure he understand a word I was saying as he kind of just stared into the distance unable to make any eye contact or recognition.
After a time he seemed to fall back into a deep sleep which is also normal . They added a smaller amount of sedation to keep him calm overnight and the whole procedure was repeated yesterday with sedation being removed and just gently encouraging him to wake up. Not quite so calmly yesterday I might add, infact quite the opposite as he was raging with anger. The Tracheotomy tube is fitted with a speech valve but he is (as yet) not strong enough to speak, just making some low groaning noises .
It is clear that he does not know me (again I am assured fairly common after such a long time) and he is very upset and angry in equal measures . They are messing around with the drugs to try and keep him calm but not too sedated .
No sign of the man I loved in there yet, just a very scared angry person who has lost so much weight he is barely recognisable. I have been advised not to come in until after 11 today as they are doing an assessment at 10 .
I am very frightened that I may have lost him forever although I am told that these early days are very difficult and they are hopeful of improvement as the days go by.
Thank you again from the bottom of my heart, to everyone who continues to hold us in their thoughts and prayers, it means so much to me . I have mentioned many times on GN that I don’t have any real life friends to share my thoughts with so all my virtual friends on Gransnet mean so much to me.
Also thinking of those with their own worries, problems and poorlyness and wishing you all some much needed 
Love Gillybob x
Dear Gillybob your post is so moving, so filled with love for your DH. I hope that he is taking small steps on the way to recovery and the medical staff must be hopeful that this is the case. My thoughts are with you
gillybob
Good morning Mick and everyone
It's damp and grey here and there are piles of leaves to be swept up, but we, too, have a birthday party to look forward to later which should cheer us up
Tiny glimmer of Gillybobs! Keep strong and we are now all behind you xxx
Good Morning All x
Very still and calm so far with a bit of brightness showing now and again. I've been up a while and had breakfast but still in dressing gown yet until I get cracking-----for what, I don't know yet 
I must say that it's good to see Gabriella54 back again as nobody likes to see anyone leave least of all on a sour note. She gives me the urge to do what I should be doing but because the spirit to do is there, the flesh isn't at times. 
It's going to be a long journey for Gillybob but just take a day at a time. You're always in our thoughts and willing improvement for your man on a daily basis xx. Hope you're looking after yourself too.
A couple of M&S thick lamb chops today with roast pots cauli and mushy peas ( I'll screw me hat on ) and maybe a quick orange sponge pud in the oven at the same time.
Hope everyone has a peaceful and germ-free Sunday.
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