Who chooses new curtains etc?

OH always been far too busy- and very happy for me to choose.

OH will come shopping now he is retired but acknowledges that his colour sense is hopeless!
He says he doesn't know why I ask his opinion because I always choose what I like anyway.
He does tend to buy pictures though and our tastes are not the same there either.

DH and I are very alike in our preference for decor and furnishings, he usually says if I like it then it will be fine. I got to choose the whole house makeover but accepted his input on practical things like plumbing and electricals.

I'll stick with being a dictator here. After all, it's my house so I'll choose what I want (never was much good with compromise anyway - it just means nobody gets what they really like).

Smaller items like curtains me, but larger and expensive items we choose together.

I've always chosen home furnishings and just gone ahead and bought them. Never had an OH who was faintly interested in such things.

Some people do sound rather controlling - but reading these threads, that label seems to apply to women as much as men!

DH will nearly always get involved in decisions over such purchases and yes, things can get very complicated because of it, but when these are things that he will have to look at or use as often as I do, it seems only fair that his likes and dislikes have as much sway as my own.
Admittedly, it does become very frustrating if we can't find a compromise!

When I told my boyfriend I would like some new wallpaper and curtains for the lounge in the New Year, I knew just what he would reply.

"What's wrong with the ones you've got now?" His house is in a time warp.

Fortunately DH and I have the same taste.

Recently had the house redecorated and I do run any ideas etc. by DH.

On the whole, I usually make the final decision unless it is something DH really dislikes.

The biggest problem is art, especially maritime art. We have three pictures waiting to be found space and one, I am quietly trying to 'lose'
My husband has his music room (The small bedroom in our 3 bedroom semi). It would probably go here.
Sometimes objections can be valid, and I do listen. I'm not unreasonable. eg a strong feature wall would make the living room look smaller, chrome wouldn't match the floor lamp...
But the last curtains we bought he said the material looked like it would pluck easily. I bought them anyway, I told him I was paying for them. For some reason this made him accept my choice. And please don't think he's mean. He just bought me a new foldup bicycle even though I told him I may not use it (health probs)

The thing is he says he doesn't care and given the choice he would never replace anything unless it broke, just like Springychicken's OH. But then as soon as we have to buy he wants to have the last word. I do all the research for everything just like Sillygrandma, visiting shops and searching online which is very tiring and make a shortlist of ones I like which he might like.
But I have to compromise so much. I never get to buy anything I really like. There's always some reason not to. The detail on the brass isn't as fine as the one we have (what does that even mean?) Antique brass is too dark a contrast with the ceiling.
Yesterday a Christmas doormat a doormat OH "plastic backing, it holds the rain too much....not having that". This morning I looked at the one we already have, and it is has a backing.
Hall is yellow and kitchen is terracotta, his choice, not what I wanted. I wanted a feature wall in the living room. Spot the feature wall.
Sometimes his taste is nice, but like Sillygrandma, I feel a little bit controlled, although her OH sounds much more so.
He is rarely enthusiastic about any of my choices, I actually feel sick sometimes when I am choosing things now. There is no pleasure in it. When I was on my own I enjoyed shopping.

Listening to everyone, the conclusion seems to be some husbands like to be consulted and have a say, and that should be considered.
I think I need to do the research, present a list of what I really like and insist that he chooses one of them and doesn't reject them all, unless he gives me a valid reason for doing so. And then does some research himself.
And sometimes I am just going to bring some things home and see how he takes it. (not that we shop that often, it sounds like I'm forever buying stuff)
Sorry to moan so much, It's good to be able to talk about it.
And sorry to bring up bad memories Sillygrandma

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201912/medium-414162-screenshot-2019-12-09-11-52-50.png https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201912/medium-707554-screenshot-2019-12-09-10-36-03.png

Spot the colourful feature wall!

I do envy those who get to choose. Mamacaz frustrating is an understatement.

It is very strange. When we decide we need something, like a new sofa, he hates all the ones I like and I like all the ones he hates, then we go shopping together and both fall in love with a totally different style. Our last outing was for a preferably leather Ercol style sofa, we ended up both adoring a cloth 50's retro sofa in a very bright colour.

If it's a sofa etc we both have to decide on comfort; I'd probably choose the colour and invariably change my mind as soon as it arrives!

I've got that lamp annep but I think mine needs a polish!

chrome wouldn't match the floor lamp...

You see, annep, my DH wouldn't notice. We had some nearly new ceiling lights then redecorated the whole room, new suite, curtains etc. The pretty silver ceiling lights just did not go with the room; he thought they were just fine, couldn't see the problem, but I couldn't rest until I bought new brass ones!

Callistemon I would notice tbh but I didn't think men would. But everything has to match, hence we have an overload of oak in the sitting room (apart from the mahogany bookcase which must stay).
I don't think I've every polished the lamp. Feather duster flicked over it and along the top. Now I'll have to.........

I recently bought some much needed new light shades, without consulting DH, quite a rare thing. He likes them, or at least has said nothing negative,
Normally we discuss, I research, we choose together, but some things we get really stuck on, not because we disagree, but because we can’t find a solution.
Recently he has started buying all sorts of small domestic items we don’t need, tin opener, bathroom scales etc, bought online- why? Seems to have developed a need to buy things.

We choose together and have very similar tastes. I can see it must be difficult if your tastes are very different

When we were newly married in the early 60's, DH's choice of wallpaper would have been overblown cabbage roses ? , so from then on, I have chosen the decor. He has never said he doesn't like anything.
A couple of years ago when we needed a couple of new sofas, we both had an equal input, like Goldilocks trying them all out.

As for TV's etc, I leave it up to him, because if it works I really don't mind.

Your lamp is lovely and shiny, annep, that's why I thought mine needed a polish.
That could take the surface off though, so perhaps I'll just leave it as it is! Perhaps it might appreciate a dust.

If it's paint then it's a joint decision but always involves lots of match pots. If it's curtains I select and he approves. He spends more time on the sofa than I do so as long as it looks okay I don't bother about whether I would find it comfortable and the same with the TV. Household linen I choose and often he doesn't notice.
Ornaments/ art etc. we usually shop together and buy as a joint anniversary gift and that's often when we are away on holiday.

Bradfordlass I just noticed your photo (on laptop now) Nice pattern.
I like net curtains. No one here has them any longer but I think they're great. Privacy, and you can still see out.

Sillygrandma5GK How brave of you to get rid of him after all that time.

Good for you. Enjoy the next 20+ years of doing it your way

annep1 Very few people go for net curtains here either but blinds of any kind are way beyond my means and to tell the truth, I rather like seeing the curtains blowing in the sunshine

Message withdrawn at poster's request.