Christmas card sadness

The hardest names to lose from my list was my parents. We lost Mum 3 years before Dad and it's always very hard at Christmas. As children we had amazing times, very little spare cash but we always had gifts and a stocking and never went hungry.

I feel so sad that i'll never open a card saying "Mum" again, even though I'm not a card person.

My daughter always bought me lovely ones, and I tried to always get her ones with meaningful words.

Looking at the tail end of this year's New Zealand calendar, I realised with great sadness that it was the last. My lovely sister, who sent me one every year, was cruelly taken from us in August by that dreadful Motor Neurone Disease. So no card, no calendar, no phone call. So bereft.

This is the second Christmas that I have been estranged from my sister. I have sent her and her family a card as I did last year but she didn't send me one last year and has had no contact all year. I am SO sad about it. It would make my Christmas if a card from her plopped through the door onto the mat.

Annodomini. I’ve learnt this year that losing a sibling is very different from losing a parent, which can be viewed as the natural order of things. A sibling, even an older one, not so much. I never dreamt of mine not being here.

So sad reading this. I only have to open my address book and begin my little factory of Christmas cards to see every page has crossings out. When young it was the changes of address but now the same names are struck through.

There are people I exchange cards with who I've not seen for 30 years.

I don't think that's important. I still think of them and value the memories.

It is sad but a fact of life that people die, we'll be crossed off some time in the future! That's a cheerful thought, isn't it.
My great failing is not to update by address labels when I get a card with a new address then the following year I'm struggling to remember. RIghtmove can be useful if you know roughly when and where they moved.

Yes I too find Christmas cards bitter sweet. We often seem to hear bad news in them from the people we only hear from once a year. We lost one of our best friends just recently and it was very poignant receiving a card just from his wife.
Friends of my parents sent me a card asking me to remember them to my mother as last year my dad died and she won't remember who they are.

My mum used to have a tiny little address book that came out every Christmas. She used to send cards to quite a lot of people that she hadn't seen for many years - people that had become friends when she and dad were first married or when she was at work.
After she died, 10 years ago, the number of cards that arrived, addressed to my parents dropped amazingly and I wonder if it was because the recipients had also died and my parents hadn't heard or they just assumed that my dad had gone before!
My own cards have dropped in number - just 12 this year as my aunts and uncles pass away and many friends send messages via Facebook.
Gone are the days when Royal Mail had to take on extra staff for delivering cards at Christmas.

So hard. Some cards this year included a message about my daughter's death 8 months ago. Funeral was private, no intimations therefore some friends wouldn't be aware. Sent off last week, seemed to resurrect full blown grief again. Not the best time of year for a lot of people. Yet there is so much anger and anxiety about something that should, if you believe, be a joyous time.

I write my cards from my mum address book it lovely seeing her writing.She died last March so this is the second time i will not get a card from her.I lost my dad six years previously.I have brought a card that says Always in my heart mum and dad and its blank inside and you put your message in.It will take pride of place on my shelf

Everything is so so raw after my darling John's sudden death on the 9th but I have gone ahead and sent the cards from the two of us as I had already written them out prior to his passing its going to be hard opening all my post this year x

I'm breaking my heart reading this. Last night I saw one of my sisters in the chapel of rest at my local hospital. Absolutely devastated as this was too early for her to go but she was tragically taken after a fall. I can't get my head around it.

I got her the most beautiful card which I know she would have loved. I normally post it but saw another sister on 7th and passed family cards to her as she was likely to see most first. As it happens she didn't see this sister so posted the cards for her on the day she died. It's really, really silly but I can't help thinking she never got my card.

We buried Mam this year too and have many close to us that have had devastating years too.

Every year we receive a card intended for some neighbors a few doors down. Every year we put it through their letter box. You'd think by now they'd have let the people know they had their address down wrong. Maybe next year I shall simply cross out the number and put "not known at this address" and put it back in the post - see if that gets through to them

Aye, my own card list is down quite a few. I have a few friends and relatives with varying illnesses and one friend losing her sight. I will continue to send Christmas cards to the friends and family I still have. It's an old tradition and a lovely one. I think it matters, especially to those on their own. Electronic means just isn't the same. Im like Bradford Lass, though sad about those no longer with us, Im grateful these lovely folks from times past were a part of my life. Gone maybe, but never forgotten.

I'm doing my Christmas cards this afternoon. All the addresses are typed out in a file and every year there are one or two more with RIP written next to them. It is sad.

Molly10, awfully sorry, condolences to you. Hard enough at anytime of year, but at this time of year even more difficult.

I have still to write my cards this year. I want to reduce the number I give out and donate to a charity instead. I will still post a few to very close friends who don't live near me but who I still visit.

My mum now cannot write her own cards due to Alzheimers and I will send cards to some of our family to update them as I know they care about her but it's sad to have to add her name to my cards.

Yes, I think time of year always emphasises others who are less lucky than I am. I know I found it hard to send cards from just myself after my husband left me.

That is heartbreaking Molly, I feel for you. I hope you can find peace at her funeral and beyond.

I've just written a card for friends who's brother has just died, but they have young children and still have to try and celebrate Christmas. So the Christmas card I bought is a thinking of you at Christmas card. With lovely caring words inside.

Yes, can you think of the joy you are spreading? I know it is hard.

I was feeling just the same as I was doing mine,lost my DH earlier this year and spent a lot of time in tears having to write this in,and as someone said receiving cards addressed to both of us,and yesterday was our 32'nd wedding anniversary so roll on 2020.

? for everyone on here. So many sadnesses to bear.

Condolences to you * Molly*.
It is a sad, reflective time Urmston. This Christmas is the first with out my husband's parents and it is very hard. DH went to his cousin's funeral yesterday, he was a teacher and many of his former pupils have posted how he had always made time for them.
We had our post just an hour ago. There was a card from an old friend of DH's from his batchelor days, he said that his wife had died two years ago but that he had been in an awful state following her death. He apologised for not letting us know, bless him. I still feel awful for sending a card addressed to them both though, including this year's just last week.