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Christmas card sadness

(91 Posts)
Urmstongran Wed 18-Dec-19 14:24:15

I’m late writing them this year but I’ve finally done them all and himself has just nipped out to post them.

It was sad having to cross out a couple of names from my list & address book as they had died since last Christmas.

Also sad was the writing of two cards to dear friends, one couple in Wales and one in Bradford whose better halves are very poorly - I found myself upset writing their cards, wondering if it was for the last time I would include their names.

A quiet moment of reflection on times past.

GrannyGravy13 Wed 18-Dec-19 14:34:11

Totally understand, we have had the same situation, lost a dear friend in the summer and Mr,Gravy's Aunt 3 weeks ago.

I have a "Christmas Book" containing my card and present lists, more spaces each year.

Yehbutnobut Wed 18-Dec-19 14:36:07

Yes. I keep all my cards from one year to the next so I can check I’ve sent to those who sent to me. What I found was a couple from a friend and a relative who passed away in 2019.

Have put those to one side to keep.

kittylester Wed 18-Dec-19 15:02:44

I can understand that Urmston.

The hardest christmas cards I had to write were the ones in the Christmas following DS1's stroke. It broke my heart each time!

Urmstongran Wed 18-Dec-19 15:06:19

I did that for several years with the card my mum would send me for my birthday ybnb. She had bad arthritis in her writing hand so the cards to me and my sister were the only ones she wrote herself, bless.

Actually, whilst I was in the shower (I know!) I got to thinking ... ‘you do seem to assume you’ll be here yourself writing these cards next Christmas!’

Urmstongran Wed 18-Dec-19 15:07:58

Oh kitty that must have been so hard.

Pantglas2 Wed 18-Dec-19 15:08:30

I have a card list and every year I’m crossing names off although making new friends (Spain) Urmstongran- they tend to do Facebook/Messenger so will do theirs electronically.

DH last customer died in October and although he retired years ago, he used to pop in and do the odd little job when we were passing. She was the last of twenty and it’s the closing of a chapter and quite sad!

tanith Wed 18-Dec-19 15:38:32

I was very sad writing mine, no longer adding my darling husband and receiving cards addressed to just me. 😥

Bellanonna Wed 18-Dec-19 15:55:26

That is sad, Tanith 💐

Riverwalk Wed 18-Dec-19 16:17:12

I was just feeling the same thing Urmston.

I haven't got around to putting addresses on the PC so each year I have to get out my tatty address book and do get sad when I see two particularly good friends who died far too young.

BlueSapphire Wed 18-Dec-19 17:03:02

tanith, I know what you mean. It's the second year now that I'm just signing my name. I might be silly, but I still buy a card for my dear DH.

annep1 Wed 18-Dec-19 17:10:08

Christmas can be sad too.
I keep all my cards from one year to the next just in case....
I still put up my sisters last card to me. She died in Jan 2011. Also I still have the last present I bought my brother. He died on Christmas day 2011 before he got to open it, only 52. Its in my keepsake box.

Franbern Wed 18-Dec-19 17:50:09

Do not everybody checks their christmas card lists - in my last house, where I lived for 16 years, every single christmas a card would arrive addressed to the previous owners (who had moved abroad - no idea as to their address). This card always contained best wishes and just first names -no return address. They obviously had had no contact with the people they were sending this card to for at least 16 years - it always made me very perplexed. Bet the people who bought my house have received that there this year!!!

Bathsheba Wed 18-Dec-19 18:07:15

When we first married I had a little address book, and the majority of the names in there were included on my Christmas card list. As the years went by, one by one Aunts or Uncles would be crossed through until eventually the little book just made me feel so sad and I rewrote my Christmas list into a new address book.

After a while, of course, this list made its way onto a computer and most years lately there have been further deletions, but now these are friends and relatives in our own generation. And somehow it's worse, because when they are deleted, they're not simply crossed through, but they disappear altogether, into the ether, as if they'd never been on my list to begin with sad

It is very upsetting, isn't it? I completely understand how you feel Urmstongran

nonnasusie Wed 18-Dec-19 19:22:37

My 1st husband's mother died this year and I was upset when writing cards (as were my children) not to be sending her one! Ive also not had the heart to delete her name from the phone !

Luckygirl Wed 18-Dec-19 19:25:12

I have not sent many cards this year - no time really. But I have sent about 20 to old friends who I knew were not aware of OH's deterioration and that he is now in a NH. It was indeed sad writing this 20 times over - but it is done now and I knew that they would have wanted to know.

Smileless2012 Wed 18-Dec-19 19:29:08

This time of the year is when we miss those we love the most.

flowers for you all.

Doodle Wed 18-Dec-19 19:33:22

tanith so sorry for you.
My thoughts are will all those who have lost over ones, those estranged.
I received a card today from an old neighbour who’s husband died in April. Wish I’d got it before I sent a card addressed to them both.

Doodle Wed 18-Dec-19 19:33:34

With not will

Doodle Wed 18-Dec-19 19:34:32

I really should have previewed before I posted. Those who have lost loved ones.

Hetty58 Wed 18-Dec-19 20:15:33

Christmas is happy until the first year when you've lost a loved one - then it's bittersweet.

Doodle, people worry (too much) in case they upset you, but little mistakes are insignificant, like throwing a cup of water in a sea of grief. They worry that they'll 'remind' you - but it's not as if you've forgotten.

SueDonim Wed 18-Dec-19 20:52:48

My card list has also had a swathe taken out of it in the past 15mths. I couldn’t bring myself to cross out names so I bought a new address book. Even so, one of the names from that has gone already.

Far worse, though, has been writing to tell people that my sister died earlier in the year. I went to see Frozen 2 this week and although it’s just a kids’ film, seeing the two sisters was bittersweet.

On the bright side, I’ve had a card from a friend who was too ill in the last two years to send cards so I’m very glad she is much improved. smile

BradfordLass72 Wed 18-Dec-19 21:23:21

Urmstongran Oh, you poor lass. flowers

I suppose at our age, it's inevitable we'll lose people more often than we did in our youth. I try to be thankful that I had their friendship, as I'm sure you do too, and look back with pleasure on what we shared. smile

Floradora9 Wed 18-Dec-19 21:53:49

Happy to send no cards at all money went to two different charities instead. We used to laugh at mum my who would keep her really nice cards from year to year and put them up again. We would point out that some of the senders had died now but that did not put her off .
It used to be a badge of honour if you had lots of lovely cards .

vena11 Wed 18-Dec-19 22:01:56

I know it's sad to write cards with only one name and receive them with the same. It get harder every year as we get older but we must remember too we are still here and enjoy what we have.